Lost
by WordRunner
Summary: Repost. A year following the disappearance of Anastasia Grey, her husband finds a lead to her and getting their lives back on track won't be as simple as he hopes.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Fifty Shades universe; it's all still EL James'.**

 **A/N:** After being asked on nearly a weekly basis, I thought it time to bring back my older stories that I removed forever ago. Nothing in the storyline has changed, though I'm doing a bit of editing along the way. It's difficult to forget some of the more emphatic responses to this story and I'm sure there will be similar responses this time around. So if we can all agree to keep the "burn in hell" comments in check this time around, I'd appreciate it. And to answer questions I know I will get, at this point, I do plan on reposting _Found_ and _Back to Us_ as well. If you're reading for the first time, or even rereading, I hope you'll enjoy the story and please don't forget to review!

* * *

"NO!"

The word came out as a strangled moan as he sat up straight in his bed, breathing heavily, his body covered with sweat. He took several moments trying to still his pounding heart and carefully looked around the bedroom for anything amiss. With a deep breath, he finally flopped back onto the mattress and stared at the ceiling. This wasn't the first time he'd had that dream and he knew it wouldn't be the last. It was always the same cast of characters, playing out different scenes which always ended with him on his knees surrounded by broken glass and a pool of blood as the front door of the house clicked shut.

He swallowed heavily and glanced over at the alarm clock beside the bed, not surprised to find it was only one in the morning and he was wide awake. This was the pattern: Whenever he had a relatively quiet day, he found himself brooding more and more often, which led to a large glass of whiskey around nine in the evening, then he would do a bit more work, try to convince himself that he would sleep through the night. He would then go to bed and within two or three hours of being asleep, he would wake in a cold sweat, unable to get back to sleep.

Giving up, he threw aside the blankets, swung his legs over the side of the bed, and let his feet touch the cold floor as he crossed the master bedroom to the window. He stared distractedly out at the waterside view, wondering how he was ever going to get past these dreams. None of Flynn's suggestions had worked; meditation made him impatient; clearing his mind only led to his thoughts becoming more confused. There were only one or two distractions that really did the job: one was down the hall, fast asleep, and the other...

His eyes clenched shut involuntarily as a brown-haired, blue-eyed woman's smiling face popped up in his mind. With a deep breath, his forced his eyes open again and the image disappeared. He had to stop doing this to himself. There'd been no word in nearly a year and what were the chances that she'd ever come home again?

Anger and hurt welled up suddenly and it took him every ounce of self-control not to grab a nearby lamp and throw it through the glass window. Instead, he spun away from the bay window and strode to the bedroom door without bothering to put on anything other than his thin, cotton pajama pants; it wasn't as though he expected to meet anybody this late at night, nor did he really care what those people might think even if he _did_ meet somebody. His only thought at the moment was to get down the hall and confirm that not everything was a figment of his imagination. At the very thought of the possibility, panic gripped him and he practically sprinted the remaining distance to the closed door. He forced himself not to throw open the door and frighten the person inside. After another very deep breath, he steeled himself and turned the doorknob, his eyes scanning every inch of the room before they landed on the large bed in the very center.

He almost laughed at himself and the amount of relief that filled him when he spotted the small, copper-haired boy sprawled out with the blankets wrapped around one ankle. But natural laughter had come to him less often as of late, so it didn't take too much effort to subdue the urge. Quietly, he crossed the room to the bed and reached out to gently touch the boy's head, finding comfort in the very real feel of him.

In a practiced move, he easily untangled the blanket, moved the boy to a more comfortable position, and covered him again, even though he knew from experience that by morning, his efforts would have been for nothing. With a fond smile that, for once, didn't feel the least bit forced, he leaned over, smoothed back the boy's copper hair, and kissed his forehead. He turned automatically towards the bedside table and his eyes landed on the framed photo taken more than a year ago. It depicted a small family—a man, a woman, and their son—who looked happier than anybody had any real right to be. Their love for one another was more than apparent and displayed freely in their eyes and smiles.

Or perhaps it was just the memory of when the photo had been taken that made him feel that way. He tried to separate himself from the photo, tried to view it as an outsider, and suddenly saw it in a very different light. A man who'd lived his entire life without thought of what true happiness could be, a man who buried himself in his work and his... extracurricular activities. He'd fought to be where he was today, to be the CEO of a major corporation. He had hundreds of employees at his beck and call both day and night, and wanted for nothing. Beside him, he saw a woman who tripped her way into his life and proceeded to show him everything he'd been missing, and for once, he allowed himself true happiness, allowed himself to love, allowed himself the chance at a real future. Between the couple was the product of that future, the perfect little boy they had created together. Tousled copper hair, bright blue eyes, so smart...

Theodore Raymond Grey was the most perfect, most surprising thing to come from the last few years. He was the only thing left that proved without a shadow of a doubt Anastasia Steele had indeed stumbled into the office of CEO Christian Grey and changed both their lives so very drastically. Teddy was the only thing that had kept his father from giving up in the last year. It had been months since Teddy had mentioned his mother in his father's presence, since he'd inquired when she would be coming home. The last time had resulted in several hours of extra work for Gail after Christian had gone on the warpath in his office.

Not that he still wasn't tempted to give up every so often. Doubt tended to creep in on the bad days—what kind of father could he possibly be to this boy? More often than not, he was away on business for days at a time, leaving his son with Gail or his parents, or occasionally Kate and Elliott. He made it a habit to call every night he was away, no matter where he was, before Teddy went to sleep, and he always brought back something from wherever he visited. But Teddy was only three years old; naturally, he missed his father when they were separated, but he never treated his father any differently upon his return. What about when Teddy reached his teenage years, when his father would be more likely to extend his business trips a day or two longer? Resentment would take hold at some point and who knew where Teddy would turn to let off a bit of steam.

He shuddered at the thought of his son following in his footsteps.

His son needed more. He needed a stable family. He needed someone he loved around him, someone who could drop everything without hesitation when he was in need. He needed someone to balance out his father's sometimes volatile temper.

He needed his mother.

With a shuddering breath, Christian Grey carefully laid down beside his son, gently pulling the boy into his arms, his nose in the boy's hair. "I love you, Ted," he whispered shakily. "I wish I could do more for you."

* * *

Two days following the most recent dream, Christian had reason to genuinely smile. It was Saturday morning, and for the first time in far too long, there were no business trips to go away on, no tedious meetings to attend, and no foreign, potential business partners to impress. He'd promised Ted weeks ago that today they would spend time together on the boat, cruise the water, maybe do a bit of fishing. Ted had burst into Christian's bedroom at sunrise, jumped onto the bed, and shook his father into consciousness to remind him of this promise. After the token grumpy protest from Christian, father and son had joined Gail in the kitchen for breakfast, during which Christian had inquired into Taylor's whereabouts. Apparently Taylor, unlike his boss, had decided a little weekend business was in order; he'd received a call before sunrise and had gone off to take care of something.

"Shall I send him to find you when he returns, Mr. Grey?" asked Gail as she helped Ted cut up his pancakes and bacon.

Christian shook his head. "No need," he responded. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait until Monday; this is Teddy's weekend." He reached over to ruffle his son's already messy head of hair and was rewarded with a toothy, slightly syrupy smile in return.

Gail smiled fondly and in approval, Christian thought, at the scene before her. "Well, I've prepared both of you very manly lunches of peanut butter sandwiches, apple slices, and root beer," she told them. "Any idea whether you'll be back for dinner?"

"Should be," Christian mused. "Unless of course we're attacked an eaten by sharks." He reached over suddenly to tickle Ted's ribs, causing him to shriek and giggle.

"Dad," Ted said in a scolding voice that made his father proud, "there aren't any sharks here!"

"You don't think so?" Christian retorted with a raised eyebrow. "How do you know I didn't have some sent over just for this outing?"

Ted seemed to contemplate this statement for a moment before shaking his head hard and returning to his breakfast.

The dishes had been cleared, Ted and Christian both dressed for their day on the water, and the pair headed out the door towards the pier. Christian hung back a little, watching his son run and jump through the grass, playing some imaginary game. They finally reached the boat, boarded, and before anything else, Christian wrapped his son in a life jacket, tightening the straps to his satisfaction. Just as they were preparing to set sail, Christian spotted Taylor rushing down the lawn towards him.

"Mr. Grey! Can I have a moment, please, sir?"

Christian glanced at Ted, whose shoulders were beginning to sag in disappointment. He knew what was coming: Anytime Taylor or another member of Christian's staff showed up, regardless of the fact that they'd all been told their boss was spending the day with his son, they would tell Christian something that would result in Ted's spending the remainder of the day with Gail while his father took care of business.

 _Not today..._ "Sorry, Taylor!" Christian called. "Can't hear you!"

"Sir, I really think—"

"Not now! It can wait!" Christian interrupted. "We'll see you this evening!"

Taylor shouted something in response, but Teddy, upon seeing that his day on the boat wasn't to be thwarted, drowned out the words with the boat's horn. Christian laughed, partly at Taylor's look of utter frustration, partly because for the first time in months, he felt truly relaxed.

* * *

The Grey men returned to the house near dinnertime slightly sunburned, windswept but happy. Ted had fallen asleep in his father's arms on the walk up and the moment they entered the house, Gail entered and gently took the boy from Christian's arms.

"Dinner will be ready shortly," she whispered with a smile before turning and taking ted to his bedroom.

Upon entering his study, Christian discovered Taylor sitting across from his desk and suddenly remembered the desperation from his head of security when he and Ted were on the boat. "Been sitting here all day, have we?" asked Christian jokingly as he walked around the desk to sit down.

Taylor, it seemed, couldn't find the humor just yet. "Yes, sir," he said tersely.

Christian raised an eyebrow as he got a good look at the other man's face. Taylor was frustrated, annoyed, and impatient, three things Christian rarely saw from him. "All right," he said briskly. "Out with it. What's so important?"

Taylor met his boss's eyes silently for a few moments before nodding to himself. "We've found her, sir," he said in a measured tone.

Abruptly, Christian's good mood had evaporated, leaving behind anxiety, fear, and anger. "What?" he breathed. "When?"

"This morning," Taylor went on. "We've been tracking several things this year, keeping an eye out for anything that might giveaway her location. A serial number on a watch was red flagged last evening when she attempted to sell it."

"Where?"

"Omaha, Nebraska."

Christian nodded distractedly, not bothering to wonder why she would choose Omaha. "And how is it we've only just found her?"

"She's been using an alias, sir," Taylor answered. "Kelly Reed. She's drawn up false documentation—birth certificate, social security number, all of it—and she's stayed of the radar. Until now, that is."

Anger welled. Christian knew his next comment was irrational, but at the moment he couldn't be bothered to care. "Why the _fuck_ didn't you tell me this sooner?" he shouted at Taylor, his balled fist coming down on the desk.

To Taylor's credit, he didn't even flinch at the outburst. "Forgive me, sir," he began dryly, "but I did attempt to tell you this morning when you and Ted boarded the boat."

There weren't many people from whom Christian would tolerate that tone, and he was tempted to remind Taylor of this. The fact remained, however, that there were more important things to deal with right now. Christian took a deep breath. "Get the plane ready," he said through gritted teeth. "We're going to Omaha. Tonight."

"Sir." Taylor jumped up and left the study immediately, already dialing phone numbers on his BlackBerry.

Left to his own devices, Christian did his level best to work out the next move. His heart was racing, adrenaline flooded his veins, but despite it all, he felt calm. Within hours, he'd have the chance to lay eyes on his wife for the first time in nearly a year, and would finally— _finally_ —discover the reason for her disappearance. He'd spent all this time thinking of things to say to her, imagining the things he would do to and with her, and now he could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

His emotions mostly under control, Christian pulled his own BlackBerry from the drawer in his desk where he'd left it before his and Ted's outing, and dialed his parents' phone number.

"Dad, it's me," he said quietly when his father picked up on the third ring. "I need to leave town tonight, within the hour actually, and I can't take Theodore with me. I wondered if it was possible for you and Mom to keep an eye on him while I'm away."

His father remained quiet for a moment, as though surprised by the tone of his son's voice. "Of course, Christian," he agreed quickly. "I hope everything is all right..." He trailed off the end of the sentence, obviously wanting to ask what the problem was but uncertain as to how his curiosity would be received.

Christian hesitated as well before deciding to let his father in on the truth for once. "Dad, we've found her," he whispered, gripping the phone at his ear tightly. "We've found Ana. We're going to bring her back home."

He heard his father's surprised sharp intake of breath. "Oh, Christian..." he breathed, his voice full of sympathy. A moment later, he returned to his normal tone. "Your mother and I will leave now and bring Teddy home with us. Do you know how long you'll be?"

"No," Christian said briskly. "Not too long, I hope. I'm sorry to spring this on you so suddenly, but..." He trailed off, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Think nothing of it, son," Carrick said gently. "Have a safe trip."

"Thank you."

Christian hung up the phone and stood to leave his study. There was a suitcase sitting outside his bedroom door and he silently promised Gail a raise for thinking ahead of him yet again. Teddy was asleep in his bed, exhausted from the day. Christian stood beside his son, loath to wake him. His son didn't the added stress of knowing where his father was going tonight; his parents would find some way to explain Christian's absence at the breakfast table in the morning.

"This will all be over soon, son," he whispered, leaning over to kiss Teddy's forehead. "We're going to fix all of this. I love you."

Managing not to wake his son, Christian quickly left the room and headed downstairs where Gail and Taylor were speaking quietly. Their conversation broke abruptly as they spotted their boss coming to meet them. Christian could only imagine the topic of discussion.

"Are all the arrangements made?" Christian asked Taylor.

"Yes, sir," Taylor responded. "The jet is fuelling as we speak and Stephan is running pre-flight checks and clearing the flight plan."

"Excellent," Christian said briskly, turning to Gail. "My parents will be arriving within the hour to take Teddy home with them while I'm away. If you could pack him a bag and wake him and get him ready to go, I would appreciate it."

"Of course, Mr. Grey," Gail said in the same gentle tone Carrick had used during their phone call. As she passed him to head to Teddy's bedroom, she placed a hand on his forearm, squeezing comfortingly.

"Our bags are in the car, sir," Taylor informed him. "Sawyer will take us to the airport, then drive the car home. We're ready when you are."

Christian took a deep breath and let it out slowly, looking around the house he and his wife had made their home. He thought of the first time they'd come here, how adamant she had been that he not demolish the house, just add to it, update it a bit. He recalled the day they'd moved in, when Ana had been nearly six months pregnant with Teddy, and how happy she had been with the renovations. They'd spent that first night making love in their new bedroom and Christian had never felt more at home. He remembered the day they had brought Teddy home from the hospital and how he, his wife, and new son, had spent nearly two days curled up in the large bed, alternately napping or staring at each other blissfully.

Soon his wife would be returning here and they would be able to go on with their lives.

He turned back to Taylor who waited patiently for his next instructions. Christian nodded. "Let's go."


	2. Chapter 2

The journey from Seattle to Omaha was the longest of Christian Grey's life. He was used to long flights; he'd routinely flown all over the world twice in the span of two days and while it was exhausting to travel like that, _those_ flights never seemed to last this long. The first half of the trip was spent with him tapping his feet impatiently, silently willing the pilot to fly faster; the second half was spent quizzing Taylor on everything he knew about Anastasia Grey aka Kelly Reed.

"She's lived in Omaha for the last four months," Taylor told him. "She works at a small restaurant as a waitress and lives in rented house downtown. I have a few contacts who've agreed to keep tabs on her since this morning and so far, there's nothing amiss."

"Except for the fact that my wife is living somebody else's life instead of being with me and our son," Christian hissed.

"Except for that," Taylor conceded. He hesitated a moment, then reached into his computer bag, withdrawing a manila file. "I wasn't sure whether I should show you this right away or wait until we were settled in the hotel, but..." He shrugged, passing the file to Christian.

Brow furrowed, Christian opened the file and immediately gasped. For the first time in nearly a year, he was looking at his wife as she currently was. It was a freeze frame from a security camera taken when Anastasia had visited a jewelry store last evening to sell one of her belongings. She looked different. Her hair was cut shorter and it was obvious her priorities didn't include maintaining her appearance the way she had in Seattle. She looked tired and sad and drawn. Christian could identify with her. He softly touched the image of his wife, wishing he could understand what had gone through her mind over the last year. Did she miss him? Did she miss their son? Was she happy? Was she safe? Would he be able to convince her to come home with him? Was he willing to accept the thought that she might not?

"We'll be landing shortly, gentlemen," informed the flight attendant. "Please get yourselves settled."

Christian kept hold of the photograph Taylor had handed him; Taylor didn't seem to expect to have it back anyway. "What's the plan?" asked Christian as the plane began its descent into Omaha. "I assume you've come up with something."

"We'll go straight to the hotel for the night," Taylor told him. "I've got two men keeping an eye on her right now and she won't be going anywhere without their knowledge. Tomorrow, after she's left for work, we can tail her there, and after that, we follow your lead."

Christian nodded thoughtfully. Much as he wanted to rush straight to where Ana was living, he knew it would be a risky move on his part. He had no idea how Ana would react to seeing him after all this time, but showing up in the middle of the night uninvited wouldn't do him any favors. "Let your men tail her tomorrow morning," Christian told Taylor. "I want to know more about why she's here and I don't want to risk her discovering we're in town. As it is, we've only got a small window before the media realizes I'm here, and once they do, she'll hear about it and I can't risk her running again."

"Of course, sir," Taylor responded dutifully.

"Having said that, however, I think I'd like to at least drive past her home before we head to the hotel," Christian decided impulsively.

Taylor eyed him warily, but wisely refrained from saying anything.

The jet touched down at Millard Airport in Omaha just after one in the morning. Wincing, Christian realized he'd missed the opportunity to call and speak to his son before bedtime. Hopefully, he'd return home from this trip with a surprise much better than a toy. Outside the plane, a black SUV awaited them and while their bags were moved from the jet to the car, Christian and Taylor quickly ducked into the vehicle.

"Where to, sir?" asked the driver from the front seat.

Taylor quickly rattled off an address, glancing briefly at Christian as though trying to gauge his mood. He reached for his phone, which Christian hadn't heard buzz—though he was rather thoroughly distracted at the moment with other thoughts—and answered. "Taylor," he said crisply.

Christian tuned out the one-sided conversation, but from what he had heard, Taylor seemed to be getting confirmation of something. With a heavy sigh, Taylor turned the phone off, not offering to share whatever information he'd just received and Christian didn't press him; he didn't think he could summon up enough focus to converse with anybody right now. His thoughts were with his wife, wondering how she would react to being found after so long. He knew his first instinct would be to take her in his arms and never let go again. She might not feel the same anymore, though, and his biggest fear was being rejected by her again. He wasn't sure his heart could take that.

Just for a brief second, he considered calling off this whole operation and giving Ana the privacy she apparently wanted. The thought disappeared the moment they turned into a residential neighborhood. Christian felt his eyebrows rising and his eyes widening as he observed where his wife was now living. All the homes were small, no more than one or two bedrooms and all rather lacking in upkeep. Most of the lawns were unkempt and overgrown. Children's bicycles were lying haphazardly in driveways beside cars that had to be at least fifteen years old and on their last breaths.

"Will we be stopping?" asked the driver.

Taylor looked questioningly at Christian. "No," Christian answered briskly. "Which house is it?"

The driver slowed down and pointed out the house on the corner where Anastasia Grey was probably sleeping. There was a car in the driveway which looked a little newer than some of the other cars on the block. A large tree dominated the front yard and compared to the houses that surrounded it, this one looked to be well-cared for. Not that Christian would have expected anything less from his wife. He stared at the windows, wishing he could see through them, wondering which one was her bedroom. Oh how he longed to be in her bedroom...

Christian took a deep, shuddering breath, and tore his eyes from the house. "Enough," he said quietly, staring at his hands.

Taylor told the driver which hotel they were staying at and a moment later, they were speeding away from Ana.

 _See you soon, baby,_ Christian silently promised.

* * *

The next morning, Christian did something he'd not done in years: he'd slept in. And for once, it had been a pleasant, dreamless sleep, one not plagued with images of watching his wife walking out of his life or feelings of loss and overwhelming grief. When he finally woke, it was nearly lunchtime. He reached over for his BlackBerry, unsurprised to find several text messages and missed phone calls, mostly from Taylor asking if he was alive, one from Mia inquiring into why he wouldn't be at their parents' fundraiser this weekend, and a few from business partners about upcoming meetings.

He dressed, showered, ordered room service, and called Taylor to meet him. While he waited, a plan formed in his mind, one that was so perfectly Christian Grey that he believed Ana might be disappointed if he didn't execute it. Upon Taylor's arrival, Christian informed him of aforementioned plan. Taylor didn't seem to be in favor of it, but didn't try to dissuade his boss.

"I just don't think an invasion of myself and my entire security team would be comforting to her right now," Christian said to Taylor as he finished his lunch. "It needs to be just the two of us if we have any hope of making it through this."

Taylor only nodded, his attention seemingly diverted.

"What?" asked Christian warily.

With a sigh, Taylor met his boss's eyes. "I've been working on a theory since we learned Anastasia was living here," he began slowly. "I might know why she chose to leave the way she did."

Christian was certain his heart skipped a beat. "And?"

"Jack Hyde."

The blood drained from Christian's body, replaced by anger. "What?" he breathed.

Taylor shifted uncomfortably in his seat, knowing how close to the edge Christian's temper was getting. On a good day, it wasn't far from the surface. "He was paroled from prison a year and a half ago, and I'm currently working on discovering how it was we didn't know about it when it first happened. The theory is that he's somehow managed to blackmail Mrs. Grey." It didn't escape Christian's notice that Taylor's references to Ana had become more formal as Christian's temper rose. "And yes, I do realize this scenario seems a bit redundant. This time, however, I don't believe he's after money."

"What then?" Christian demanded. "And why the _fuck_ wouldn't she have said anything? I could have had that fucker taken care of with one phone call! She could have come to me, Taylor! And anyway, how does that possibly explain why she left me the way she did or why she hasn't contacted me or her son for a year?"

Taylor shook his head, unaffected by the sudden outburst. "To that, I don't yet know. It's possible we won't know until you've spoken with her."

Two hours later, Taylor and Christian were en route to Ana's new home. They'd been informed by Taylor's men that the woman herself had gone to work and wouldn't be returning until near midnight. This bode perfectly well for Christian; a few hours alone with his thoughts would be just what he needed to prepare for the confrontation that would come that evening. The car stopped across the street and Taylor turned to Christian from the front seat.

"You're sure about this, sir?" he asked seriously.

"Yes."

Taylor nodded. "We'll call you when she leaves the restaurant. If you need us, just text."

"Thank you, Jason," Christian said before getting out of the car and closing the door behind him. The SUV pulled away, leaving Christian staring at the house across from him. He glanced to check for oncoming traffic then crossed the street, heading for the backdoor which, according to Taylor's men, didn't quite lock and would allow him easy access. Luckily no nosy neighbors were in the area and Christian got into the house with hardly any effort whatsoever.

He shook his head in frustration. Apparently she still had no real concern for her own safety. Adding this to the mental list of misdeeds, Christian looked around the shabby house, marveling at how his wife could have possibly chosen to exchange the beautiful life he'd provided her for _... this..._

The décor was at least thirty years out of date and the sparse furniture seemed to have come from the side of the road. In the kitchen, some of the cabinet doors were missing, the sink faucet was steadily dripping rust-colored water, and spots of the tiled floor had a permanently yellow tinge. Further exploration of the house revealed similar results. There weren't many personal effects, none in fact. Not even a photograph. The only place that proved somebody lived here at all was the bedroom where he felt himself smiling a little at the clothes thrown on the floor and sticking out of dresser drawers and haphazardly hung in the closet. He sat down at the edge of her bed, managing to resist the urge to lean down and sniff the pillows to find out whether her hair still smelled the same. She'd accused him several times of being a stalker and the thought of her discovering he'd been alone in her bedroom sniffing her pillows seemed a bit too much.

He stared thoughtfully at the pillows for a moment. "Fuck it," he muttered, giving into the urge. Yes, still the same...

As he moved to replace the pillow on the bed, he discovered a photo that had obviously been handled often. There were creases in the middle as though it had been folded in half, one corner was a little tattered, and there was a dried spot he thought might have been caused by tears. He recognized the photo immediately. It was one that had been taken at Teddy's second birthday party of the birthday boy himself sitting on his mother's lap. Christian was right beside them, both his arms around his family. He'd never felt happier than he had on that day and he'd spent days after the party imagining a future which had included more children for Ana and himself and many more of those parties.

Well, this proved that Ana had at least thought of her family a few times during her absence. He put the photo where he'd found it, covered it with the pillow, and left the room. He settled himself in an armchair in the corner of the living room, fully prepared to wait this entire day out.

* * *

It's nearly midnight when she pulled into the driveway, parked, turned off the ignition, and gathered her bag, getting gingerly out of the car. Her feet hurt, she had a headache, and all she wanted to do was sleep for the next three days. Knowing it wasn't an option at the moment, she shuffled up the sidewalk to the front door. She dropped her bag just inside the door and closed it behind her. Her intention was to head into the kitchen for some not-diner food, maybe a few glasses of wine, but before she could even enter the kitchen, all the tiny hairs on her arms and the back of her neck stood at attention, and her entire body shivered as though a cold breeze had swept across her. She knew the cause of this reaction immediately without having to hear his voice behind her.

"Hello, Anastasia," he whispered through the dark.

Her eyes clenched tightly shut at the sound of the name she hadn't heard out loud in a year. There was a click and light filled the room as he turned on a lamp. Very slowly, she opened her eyes, resting them on her husband. He looked every bit as good as she remembered. The only visible change was the immense sadness in his eyes. She couldn't think of anything to say to him. What do you say to the man you'd abandoned without any real attempt at an explanation? Especially knowing his greatest fear in the world was being left behind...

He stood from the armchair slowly, taking cautious steps towards her. Her breaths began coming to her in quicker snatches the closer he got and she had to fight every urge she had to close the distance between them. That wouldn't help either of them. She took a very deep breath, her emotional walls beginning to crumble at the comforting scent of her husband.

"What are you doing here?" she asked shakily.

He didn't respond, but continued to close the distance between them until they were within arm's reach of each other. She expected him to reach out and touch her, possibly tuck an errant strand of hair behind her ear. When he didn't, she managed to swallow her disappointment and steel herself up for whatever happened next.

"What do you think I'm doing here?" he asked softly. She could see every emotion playing out in his eyes—longing, sadness, lust, anger, pain, love—and it nearly broke what small piece was left of her heart after the last year not to be able to wipe away some of that for him.

In response to his question, she could only shake her head, unable to force any words from her throat.

A corner of his lip twitched upwards very briefly, whether in annoyance to her lack of response or forcing himself to feign amusement, she wasn't sure. "I've come to bring home my wife," he told her, his voice cracking on the last word. "God, Anastasia, it's so good to see you..."

Ana suddenly snapped back into the reality of their predicament at his words. This couldn't happen. "No," she whispered. "No, Christian, you can't be here! You have to go home."

His brow furrowed briefly, annoyance becoming the prevalent emotion in his eyes. "Not without you," he told her firmly.

She shook her head. "You can't be here," she managed to say, her throat tightening in overwhelming fear. "Where's Teddy?"

He blinked a few times in surprise. "He's with my parents," he told her. "Ana, you're shaking." He reached out a hand to touch her shoulder and she flinched violently. Hurt and confused, he let his hand fall limply to his side.

"You have to leave," Ana told him. "Now."

"No," Christian said. "I told you, I'm not leaving without you."

"You're going to have to," she shouted suddenly. The only way to convince him to leave, she knew instinctively, was to hurt him. Again. "I don't want you here and I'm not going back to Seattle."

His shoulders drooped a little, the in control CEO façade fading away leaving only the lost little boy. "Why?" he breathed. "Why did you leave me? Why won't you come back?"

This was it. It was time to cut all ties to her old life permanently. Lies would be the only way she could possibly keep her family safe. "Why do you think I left you?" she hissed. "You controlled every aspect of my life down to which underwear I wore on a daily basis. I had no chance at privacy; anywhere I went, I was followed by half a dozen security personnel. You tracked my phone calls, my e-mails; you manipulate everything around you to fit into your perfectly controlled world." She swallowed heavily as the hurt in his eyes slowly gave way to anger. Time for the clincher... "And Teddy... You think I wanted a child so soon? You ruined my life, Christian! I left you because I resented every aspect of our lives! And you can't even leave things be! I tried to move on and for so long, I was doing so much better, I've been so much happier than I ever was with you, and yet, here you are."

Yet again, that corner of his lip twitched, and this time, she was certain it was in anger. "You walked out on us," he growled. "I came to bring you home, where you belong. You're mine, Anastasia."

"Not anymore, I'm not," she said, somehow managing to stand her ground regardless of those gray eyes glaring at her. "Get out, Christian. Leave me alone. I don't want you, I don't love you. Please. Just leave."

His jaw tightened. "No."

"Please don't make me call the police, Christian," she said warily, pinching the bridge of her eyes. "I don't want to do that. Just go."

Gray eyes narrowed on blue, searching, penetrating, begging for answers. Realization seemed to strike suddenly. "Ana, what is it?" he whispered, moving even closer to her. "What's wrong?"

She closed her eyes against him. "I just don't want you here," she said weakly, fighting her tears.

Christian sucked in a breath sharply and she felt rather than saw him straighten up away from her. "You really mean that?" he asked dully.

Tears began to fall through her closed eyelids. "Yes," she whispered.

A tense silence filled the room and she managed to open her eyes just as he nodded his acquiescence. "Fine," he said stiffly. "I'm sorry to have bothered you. I left a photo of Teddy on top of your television. If you don't want it, do with it what you please. Goodbye, Anastasia."

She managed to keep control of herself as he shuffled away from her and opened the front door. But the moment the door clicked shut behind him, Anastasia Grey crumpled to the floor, sobbing.

* * *

Christian waited for Taylor to pick him up. His thoughts were jumbled and broken. He hadn't expected his reunion with his wife to be so short, but regardless of his desire to throw her over his shoulder and march her out of that house, he couldn't deal with her words for much longer.

Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. It was in her tone, her posture, her words. She was lying about something and he had a pretty damn good idea what that something was, even if he didn't know _why_ she would have lied about it.

As the black SUV pulled up and Taylor got out of the passenger seat to open Christian's door, he looked back towards the house. "This is far from over, Anastasia," he murmured.


	3. Chapter 3

The car ride back to the hotel was a silent one. Taylor didn't ask what had transpired with Anastasia, and Christian certainly wasn't offering up any information. All he could think about was the look of fear on his wife's beautiful face and somehow, for once, Christian wasn't the cause of that look. Upon reaching their hotel rooms, Taylor muttered something about Sawyer joining them in the morning—Christian grunted in response-and then an awkward good night to his boss before disappearing behind his hotel door.

Though he'd hoped to do anything besides linger on thoughts of Ana and their disastrous encounter, Christian spent most of the night drinking whatever he could find in the mini-bar in his hotel suite and staring at the surveillance photo of his wife that Taylor had given him. By four in the morning, he'd passed out in a chair, still fully dressed, still clutching the photo.

* * *

"Sir..."

The voice seemed to come from a long ways off, almost like it was part of his dream.

"Sir... Mr. Grey..."

The voice huffed, possibly in frustration at the lack of response.

"Christian!"

The voice was now practically shouting.

Christian jolted awake and turned his head towards Taylor, blinking rapidly to bring the other man into focus. "What?" he snapped, his voice hoarse. He thought Taylor might have rolled his eyes at him, but he was too tired to care at the moment. Not to mention his head was pounding.

"Sir, we've got something you're going to want to hear," Taylor told him, reverting to his brisk, professional tone.

"What is it?" Christian murmured, glancing down at the hand that still somehow held Ana's photo tightly.

"A recording, sir," Taylor elaborated, "of a phone call made to Mrs. Grey ten minutes after we picked you up last night."

Christian's brow furrowed. "Who the fuck'd be calling her that late?" he grumbled.

Taylor hesitated. "Well, have a listen..."

Once Christian had straightened himself up a bit, he noticed a laptop had been placed on the table in front of him. Taylor waited for Christian's nod then pushed a button on the keyboard. The first thing they heard was Ana's voice thick with what he knew had to have been tears.

" _Hello?"_ she asked, her voice fearful and expectant.

" _You broke the rules..._ " said another voice, a menacing male one, in an almost singsong tone.

Christian recognized the voice immediately. "FUCK!" he shouted, looking between Taylor and the laptop. Taylor only nodded, his jaw tense, his eyes hardened and angry. Turning his attention back to the recording, Christian listened closely as Ana's breathing stalled.

" _I didn't know he was here,"_ she whispered, her tone begging _. "I don't know how he found me."_

" _You were careless,"_ Jack Hyde's voice spat. " _How do I know you didn't just_ slip up _on purpose to get your asshole husband's attention? I told you what would happen if you attracted attention to yourself, you cock-teasing bitch!"_

" _No!"_ Ana begged desperately. _"Please, don't! He's got nothing to do with this. I didn't intentionally try to get Christian's attention. Please!"_

The only sounds on the recording were of Ana's choking sobs. Hyde gave a short, mocking laugh _. "Fine,"_ he finally said grudgingly. _"You're off the hook this time, but you'd better make sure he doesn't figure out anything, or next time I won't be so kind."_

Ana gasped in relief. _"Thank you,"_ she breathed. _"He won't find out anything, I swear. I... I'll convince him to leave and make sure he won't come back."_

" _You do that,"_ Hyde said scathingly before ending the conversation.

The hotel room was left in silence for several moments as Christian stared at the laptop, waiting to hear more. "That's it?" he asked Taylor sharply.

"Yes, sir," was the response.

"How did you get that?"

"We managed to tap into her cell phone. All her conversations over the last day or two have been recorded, though admittedly this was the only one she's received."

Running both his hands through his hair, Christian stood suddenly and began pacing. "I knew something was wrong," he growled. "And I knew—I _fucking_ _knew_ , Taylor!—she was lying! What the fuck is going on around here!"

"I don't know, sir," Taylor replied calmly.

"Where the fuck is Hyde?"

"We're working on that, sir."

Taking a few deep breaths, Christian buried his hands in his hair again. "Who was she talking about?" he asked suddenly, mostly to himself. "Who doesn't have anything to do with it?"

"Again, we're working on that," Taylor said.

Christian spun around to face his head of security. "Well, work faster!" he bellowed. "I need to sort this shit out, Taylor!"

"Yes, sir," Taylor murmured, recognizing his dismissal. He left the room, leaving behind the laptop he'd brought with him.

Once the door had shut behind him, Christian went back to the laptop and restarted the recording.

* * *

Ana arrived at work for her two-midnight shift nearly an hour early. She'd not slept at all over the last few nights since she'd come home to find Christian waiting for her. It had come as a shock that he'd not attempted any further contact, and she was both disappointed and relieved that he hadn't. There'd been no further communication from Jack, either, and she took that as a good sign that the deal was still valid. Every time she thought about what could have happened had Jack been in a worse mood the other night, she felt herself die a little more. She knew exactly what was at stake if she allowed Christian back into her life. It was the first thing Jack had threatened and she had no doubt in the world that he could and would follow through with those threats. Her family's safety had to be her number one priority, regardless of how unhappy it might make them.

She'd gone in for two work shifts since seeing Christian, today would be the third, and she'd arrived early to confirm a suspicion she'd had since he walked out her front door. The moment she pulled into her parking space and got out of her car to head into the restaurant, a black SUV pulled up slowly across from the building and parked itself. There was a dark tint on the windows so she couldn't quite make out the identity of the driver, but she wouldn't be surprised to find Taylor or Sawyer behind the wheel.

"You're in early, Kel!" called a voice from behind the front counter of the diner. Ana looked up and forced a smile for her redheaded, bubbly co-worker Tina who reminded her very much of Mia Grey.

Forcing herself into her alter ego Kelly Reed, Ana managed to block out the knowledge of being watched closely, and the comfort it managed to bring her. "Yeah, misplaced my schedule," she invented. "I thought it would be better to show up early rather than be late."

"Well, don't let Donovan spot you or you'll be clocking in early and helping with the lunch rush," Tina warned, grabbing a stack of menus and going to greet a new batch of customers.

Ana smiled faintly and ducked into a booth, reaching into her bag for a book to pass the time before her shift began. But rather than concentrating on her reading, her eyes continuously darted out the window towards the black SUV. How easy would it be to convince Christian to just leave Nebraska and never look back?

 _Well,_ said her subconscious dryly, staring at her with pursed lips, _considering the fact that you've told him you don't love him and want nothing to do with him, and he's still got his lackeys following you around... I'd say pretty difficult._

Ana inwardly rolled her eyes. How could she have possibly thought she could escape Christian Grey, CEO and Stalker-extraordinaire? There had never been secrets between them, at least not on her part. The man had learned her entire life story after one meeting, for God's sake! She never had a chance of disappearing off the face of the planet without him finding her; it was nothing short of a miracle that she'd managed it for this long.

She blinked back tears at the thought of the things she'd said to him the other night. They were the most hurtful things she could come up with and the worst part about it was she hadn't actually had to dig too deeply to come up with the words. Over their few years of marriage, she'd come to accept his controlling ways, she'd understood why he was so desperate to have everything in his world _just so_. There were times when she loved him for those tendencies. He had only his family's best interests in mind and he just wanted them to be safe and happy.

God, she'd missed him! She'd missed everything about him—his controlling/stalkerish tendencies, his sense of humor, his bright, shy smile... the kinky fuckery.

And she missed her baby boy. She flipped to the very back of her book and withdrew the picture Christian had left on her television. Teddy had grown. He looked so very much like his father now, so sweet and innocent; he wasn't she remembered leaving behind. In another few years, she'd probably barely recognize him at all. She could only imagine that little boy giving CEO Christian Grey a run for his money at every available opportunity.

There was nothing she wanted more in the world than to go back to her old life, to be a wife and a mother. She'd cut ties with all her friends and family—she could only imagine Carla's and Ray's reactions to her disappearance... And Kate... Ana would be lucky to still have the ability to hear after that confrontation.

How much longer could she _possibly_ keep going on like this? It was a miserable, lonely existence led in fear of fatal repercussions. If she had been the one that had been threatened, she could have handled it, but it wasn't her; it was her family, her innocent baby boy. Not for the first time this year, she wondered whether Jack would just go ahead and make his threats a reality anyway, regardless of her cooperation. Everything hung in the balance right now, especially with Christian's unexpected arrival.

For what had to be the hundredth time since her arrival at work less than half an hour ago, Ana looked out at the black SUV and suddenly felt her composure crumbling.

"Fuck it," she muttered to herself, stuffing her book back into her bag. She slid out of the booth, nearly colliding with Tina on her way out the door.

"Kelly! Where're you going?" her co-worker shouted after her.

Ana ignored her, glancing up and down the street as she crossed. Everything was falling apart again and she knew there was only one person in the world who could possibly help her bring it back together. She tapped on the darkly tinted window and waited a moment for the person inside to roll down the window. A smile tried to blossom on her face at the familiar sight of Sawyer, who looked back at her in shock.

"I'd like you to take me to Christian, Sawyer," she told him breathlessly.

Sawyer snapped out of his shock and nodded, opening his door to open the backdoor for her. "Of course, Mrs. Grey. Right away."

* * *

Being the stubborn man he was, Christian had absolutely refused to leave Nebraska until he'd gotten the chance to speak with Anastasia again. But rather than sit around his hotel suite brooding over the reception from his wife and whatever the hell was going on that involved Jack Hyde, he'd taken the opportunity to visit a couple local companies he thought might make good additions to his other business ventures. Still, regardless of everything he'd done to keep his mind occupied on other things, everywhere he went, his eyes were constantly scanning the area for Ana. He knew the chances of running into her while running his business errands were slim, but a man could dream.

Upon returning to the hotel in the early afternoon, he immediately ordered lunch from room service and then placed a call to his parents' home so he could speak to his son. For most of the conversation, he was, at best, distracted as his son told him about all the things he and his grandparents had done. He'd gone fishing with his grandpa and even managed to catch three fish; his grandmother had been teaching him his alphabet, which he quickly rattled off to his father; his Uncle Elliot and Aunt Kate had taken him to an amusement park and he'd ridden several roller coasters. Christian was silently thankful to his family for keeping Ted occupied during his absence. He had no doubt his mother and father had managed to keep the reason for Christian's sudden departure a secret; frankly, he was surprised they'd managed to keep Kate in the state.

The phone call was interrupted by a soft knock on the door and Christian, still speaking to his son, went to accept his room service delivery. After opening the door, he was impressed with his ability to keep hold of his phone as he laid eyes on his wife dressed in what he assumed was her uniform for work. The couple stared at one another for a few silent moments until Christian realized he was still on the phone with Teddy. He stepped back from the door, opening it a bit wider, and gestured for Ana to enter. She did so with a tight smile.

Without taking his eyes off her, he closed the door, resuming his conversation. "I hope to be home soon, son, a couple more days at the most," he said a little hoarsely. Ana's eyes widened as she realized who Christian was talking to; Christian ignored the reaction for the moment. "I love you, too, Teddy. Be good for Grandma and Grandpa for me... Yes, put Grandma back on the phone." As he waited for Teddy to run through the house to wherever Grace had gone, his eyes locked with Ana's and held them, and he tried to work out why she'd come to him after the things she'd said the other night. Christian's brief conversation with his mother was a blur, and later on, if he was forced to tell somebody what they'd said to one another, he'd have no chance at recalling it.

He ended the call and tossed his BlackBerry onto a nearby chair, still gazing impassively at Ana. They stood less than six feet away from one another, motionless and silent, as Christian sought something to say. After three of the longest minutes of his life, Ana finally broke the silence.

"You came for me," she whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"Always," he responded immediately.

She swallowed hard, breaking their gaze as her eyes darted around the suite. "That was Teddy?" she asked with what he believed to be hope and longing in her voice.

He nodded. "Yes," he said.

"He's safe, then?"

Christian's brow furrowed at her. She was speaking in _that_ tone again, the one she'd used the other night when she was demanding that he leave. A few things were falling into place right now and he was desperate to know more. "Of course he's safe," he told her. "Why wouldn't he be?"

Her entire body sagged in relief; he nearly closed the distance between them in case she fell to the ground, but she composed herself before he could do anything. "How did you find me?" she asked in a casual manner while the rest of her body radiated tension.

He watched her silently for a few moments, knowing she was intentionally changing the subject to prolong any explanation she might have for her behavior. "You sold the watch I gave you on our honeymoon," he said hoarsely. "It wasn't exactly a common piece of jewelry and it has a serial number. The jewelry store cross-checked the number to make sure it wasn't stolen merchandise and that threw up a red flag with Taylor and his men."

She very discreetly rolled her eyes and muttered something about stalker husbands. He very nearly grinned at the sound as it began to remind him of the time before she'd left, a time when laughter and smiles were so easily conjured. Silence filled the room again and more than once, Christian saw his wife's blue eyes dart over her shoulder at the door as though she was contemplating a quick getaway. He wouldn't let her run, not again, not after she'd come to him.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked, attempting to keep his voice as light as he could manage. He watched as her body relaxed almost imperceptibly as she nodded.

"Please," she whispered, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear.

He gestured that she should sit on the couch while he made them some drinks and as he did so, he found his eyes darting over his shoulder at her every few seconds, just to make sure she hadn't disappeared. They were so close now; so close to getting their lives back to the way they were and the slightest misstep on his part would ruin all of that. With a deep breath that he let out slowly, he turned towards his wife, finding her perched on the edge of the sofa and looking very much the innocent, nervous girl she'd been when he'd first set eyes on her. Her eyes found his again and he felt his breathing becoming shallow, and if he were to look into a mirror, he knew his eyes would be glazed over.

She gasped almost inaudibly, tearing her eyes from his. Christian snapped out of his daze and crossed the room briskly, sitting across from Ana in an armchair and handing her short glass filled halfway with brandy. He wanted to say something, find out why she'd come, but somehow he knew the only way to do this right was to let her speak in her own time. Every time he felt himself breaking the silence, he took another sip of his brandy, which only resulted in him having to get up again for the rest of the bottle to refill his glass.

"I'm sorry."

The words were very nearly drowned out by the _glug_ of the brandy being poured from bottle to glass, but he managed to catch them anyway—if only because his eyes had darted to her face as her lips mouthed the words.

"Sorry?" he said as though he'd missed it altogether.

Apparently she knew exactly what he'd done and, once again, rolled her eyes. Out of habit and in the hope of getting any reaction that wasn't nervous or terrified, he sat up a bit straighter, darted his eyes downwards to where his hand rested on his thigh, and, when he knew she was watching, made his hand twitch. He smiled a little as she made a sound that was somewhere between a sob and a huff of laughter, and found a shadow of a smile in her eyes. His own body began to relax as well. This was familiar; this was them.

"I said, I'm sorry," she repeated, taking a deep breath and sitting up a little straighter. "I'm sorry for what I said to you the other night, the way I've behaved, and..." She swallowed hard, blinking rapidly as tears filled her eyes. Christian tightened his grip around his glass to keep from reaching out to her. "And I'm sorry for leaving you." The words barely escaped her mouth before she let out a sob.

He closed his eyes against the emotional display. The only thing he wanted right at this moment was to pull her into his arms, kiss her soundly, take her to bed, and never come out again. Some part of his mind, the logical, non-controlling part, reminded him that sex wasn't the answer. At least not right now. "Why?" he whispered, meeting her gaze again and letting her see all the hurt he'd felt over the last year. Another part of his mind, this one the more vindictive side, was satisfied by her wince.

"I was scared," she told him quietly. "I was overwhelmed and scared, and the only option I saw was to leave."

"Scared of what, Ana?" he asked a touch impatiently. "Scared of me?" The moment the words were out of his mouth, he knew that wasn't the answer.

She shook her head silently, but didn't elaborate.

"Fuck, Ana!" he shouted, jumping up from his chair, suddenly unable to contain his temper any longer. He was tired, he was frustrated, he missed his son, he missed his wife, and he wanted all this shit resolved so he could get back to his life. "Just tell me already! You came to see me, remember? Obviously there's something you want to talk about, so out with it already!"

He scolded himself when she shrank back into the couch cushions, her eyes wide and terrified. _Nice one, Grey. Now she_ is _afraid of you._ Collapsing back into his chair and running his hands through his hair. "What?" he asked softly.

Still, she didn't answer; Christian shook his head, deciding to just get to the point. "What does Jack Hyde have to do with all this?" he asked briskly. His wife paled at the name and began to visibly shake. He reached over and removed the brandy glass from her hand before she sloshed the liquid all over the place.

"Don't act so surprised," he told her gently. "Do you really think I'd have come this far and _not_ worked out he's involved?"

"Do I even want to know how you found out?" she asked wryly, her lips twitching in the beginnings of a smile.

"Probably not," he returned, letting her see a bit of his own smile. Their amusement faded immediately. "What's he done to you?"

Blue eyes shut tightly and her entire body heaved. He waited as patiently as he could until she finally opened her eyes again, looking much more composed than she had since she walked through the door. "I think we'll need some more brandy," she said softly.

He nodded slowly, glancing at his wrist watch. Ana had only been in his room a quarter of an hour; room service should arrive any minute. "And lunch," he said firmly, fixing her with his trademark glare. From the look of her she hadn't had a good meal in days and right now, he needed the comfort of having control over _something._ Without waiting for her response, he reached for the hotel phone, dialed the number for the kitchens, cancelled his last order, and placed a new one, this time for lunch for two. He hung up the phone and went to refill their glasses. "We'll eat," he handed one of the glasses to her, intentionally brushing his fingers against hers. His stomach tightened at the familiar jolt that came from her touch, and judging by the look on her face, she'd felt it, too, "and then we'll talk."

"Okay," she mouthed, a blush crawling up her neck to her face.

For the first time in a year, Christian Grey felt as though life might still have a purpose, and that purpose was sitting right beside him.

* * *

 **A/N:** Good to see as many new names as older ones! To answer a few questions... No, this is not a cheating story; however, it does deal with some very sensitive topics in upcoming chapters. I'll put up a warning at the beginning of the chapter in question when we get to it.

Hope everyone continues to enjoy! More coming soon!


	4. Chapter 4

Lunch was a silent affair. Anastasia poked and prodded her chicken Caesar salad with a fork, her head bent over her bowl as she tried to organize all her thoughts into something that made even the slightest bit of sense. All throughout the meal, she could feel Christian's eyes on her, watching her every move. She longed to know what he was thinking, but she knew when it came down to it, no matter what she'd done, the chances of him not forgiving her and taking her back were nearly nonexistent. He would be angry, he might punish her in some way, but he wouldn't abandon her, especially not after realizing that Jack Hyde was somehow part of this.

 _No, the only one in this relationship doing the abandoning is you, missy_ , sneered her subconscious.

Closing her eyes against tears, Ana took a few deep breaths and straightened up, pushing away her barely touched salad and meeting her husband's eyes.

His eyes darted between her and her abandoned lunch. "That's all you're eating?" he asked disapprovingly.

"For now," she whispered.

With a frustrated sigh, Christian nodded and stood, holding out his hand for her. "Come," he said softly.

She stared at his hand uncertainly for a few moments. She'd missed his hands and the things they could do to her so effortlessly. Her fingers were itching to be enclosed by his warm, strong ones and the rest of her was practically screaming for attention for itself. Gulping, Ana placed her hand gingerly in his, her breath stalling as his fingers closed around her and pulled her out of her seat. For the slightest moment, she expected him to kiss her—his breathing had become harsh and shallow, his eyes darkened as they darted between her eyes and her lips—but to her great disappointment, he didn't; instead, he led her back to the couch and gestured for her to sit. He sat beside her, removing his touch from her. This, she knew, was a smart decision: if he continued to touch her in any way, they'd never get through this conversation.

Taking another deep breath, she met his gaze. "I don't know where to start," she said quietly.

The desire in his eyes suddenly gave way to coldness. "You could start with the truth," he said curtly. "Why did you really leave?"

"Jack Hyde," she breathed, breaking their gaze. "He managed to make parole a year and a half ago, and he found me—he'd been keeping track of our schedules for quite awhile. He told me if I didn't do exactly as he said, he'd kill Teddy and you."

The look on Christian's face suggested this was one of the most ludicrous things he'd ever heard. "How the hell do you think he would have gotten to us, Ana?" he asked exasperatedly, just as she knew he would. "We have twenty-four hour security, state of the art security systems... He never could have gotten past that!"

"But he did," she nearly sobbed. Christian paled. "Christian, he was _in our house!_ "

"What?" he asked, his tone becoming dangerous.

"Everybody was gone," she started to explain. "You were at work with Taylor. Gail had gone grocery shopping with Sawyer. It was just me and Teddy at home..." She took a deep breath and explained every detail of the confrontation between herself and Jack Hyde. She'd dreamed about it enough in the past, but she'd never spoken aloud about it, and it simultaneously broke her heart, terrified her, and made her angrier than she'd ever been to relive it.

 _Teddy was fast asleep in the nursery. Ana was in the living room, curled up on the couch with a book, reveling in the silence of the house. The only other people on the property were two newly-hired security guards, and they were outside doing who knew what. It was nice, being alone for a change without the flurry of activity that was usually going on around the house. Before she'd left on her shopping expedition, Gail had begun to prepare dinner for that evening—beef stew, Ana believed—and the scent was rather comforting._

 _The grandfather clock in the hallway chimed one o'clock and Ana was startled awake, surprised that she'd actually fallen asleep. Setting aside her book, she stood and stretched before making her way up the stairs to Teddy's bedroom to rouse him from his own nap—they'd discovered over the last few months that if they didn't wake him a before a maximum of two hours, getting him to sleep later in the night was damn near impossible._

 _With a large yawn, she turned the doorknob to her son's room, pushed open the door, and froze. There, standing beside Teddy's crib with his back to her, was the man she'd had nightmares about more often than she'd ever admitted to her husband. It was the man who had once kicked her so hard in the belly when she was pregnant that she'd very nearly lost her baby. It was the man that Christian had threatened to kill over and over, the man she'd somehow managed to shoot in the leg._

 _It was Jack Hyde. And one darting glance into the crib would provide her several years' worth of nightmares: the crib was empty. Teddy wasn't there. Very slowly, Jack turned around and her breath caught in her throat. He was holding her son who continued to sleep on._

" _Well, hello, Mrs. Gold Digger," Jack said in his oily voice, a sneer on his lips. "I take it naptime is over?"_

 _Ana's eyes darted very briefly away from Teddy's peaceful sleeping face to Jack's. "What do you want?" she asked quietly, her voice shaking in fear._

 _Jack's sneer widened as he looked down at the boy in his arms, tracing a long finger down Teddy's cheek. Despite her instinct to rush at the man who dared break into her home and touch her son, Ana stayed rooted on the spot just inside the nursery door, uncertain what Jack would do to Teddy if she made any sudden movements. "Oh, I think we both know the answer to that, Mrs. Gold Digger. I want to see your husband suffer and there is only one way to ensure that. Money isn't it, either; he's got a bit too much to actually give a fuck about a measly five million dollars, doesn't he? No, I think this time I'll try a different route."_

" _What?" she breathed, her entire body tense in terrified anticipation._

" _I want you to leave your husband," Jack said simply, adjusting his grip on Teddy as the boy twisted around for a more comfortable sleeping position. "I want you to leave and never look back."_

 _Her brow furrowed in morbid curiosity despite the situation unfolding before her. "Why? What could that possibly do for you?"_

 _Jack's head bobbed left and right as he contemplated her question. "Consider it a game of sorts," he finally replied thoughtfully. "A game with very specific rules. You're familiar with rules as well as punishments, aren't you, Mrs. Gold Digger? I thought you might be, given the sort of..._ lifestyle _in which your husband participated before he found you."_

 _She shook her head, not understanding. "Are you blackmailing us?" she asked incredulously, surprised that she could summon the tone at all right now. "Are you going to go to the press with this if I don't do what you say?"_

" _Oh, no," Jack said, his sneering smile growing more and more frightening. "No, no, no... Actually, I find that lifestyle remarkably interesting; I might even let you give me a few hints on how to get the most pleasure out of it." Ana flinched at the implication of his words. "No, this has nothing to do with outing your asshole husband to the world. I just want to see him crumble. I want to see just how much it hurts him to lose his little slut of a trophy wife. It might even be amusing to watch from afar when your little boy here gets older—if your husband could treat you the way he does when you play your little_ games _or when he gets angry, what's he going to do with a boy who could fight back?"_

 _Horror was written plainly on her face. "You're sick," she murmured._

 _This only seemed to amuse Jack even more. "You're probably right," he responded almost cheerily. "But let's get back to the rules of our little game: Leave your husband. Make it believable. Cut all your ties at work, with your family, with your friends. Leave the state. I'll find you once you have and give you your next instructions."_

 _This was becoming ridiculous. "Why the hell would I do that?" she asked in a calm voice. "He might believe what I tell him for a little while, but he'll figure out you're behind this, and I think we both know what will happen if he catches up with you again! You'll never get away with it!"_

 _Apparently, her words did nothing to dissuade him. "You don't think so?" he asked thoughtfully, using the hand that wasn't holding Teddy to stroke his chin. "Bet you didn't think I could get past all your little army men down on the lawn, either. Or that I couldn't get into your little fortress undetected. And yes, I am fully aware that the house is practically empty right now. Just think about this, Mrs. Gold Digger: If I can get into your son's bedroom in broad daylight without any difficulty whatsoever, what exactly stops me from getting in here in the middle of the night and slitting the throats of your prick husband, his little security friend, his wife, and your son? I'd keep from slitting yours just so I could sit back and watch you fall apart."_

 _Her heart stopped beating altogether at the image his words produced. "Please," she begged, "no..."_

" _Do as I say and none of them will be harmed. Break even the tiniest rule and your beautiful little pampered prince here will be the first to pay the consequences." Anger welled in her as Jack bent his head to kiss Teddy's forehead before turning to place the still-sleeping boy in his crib. Ana lifted one very heavy foot to place it in front of her, her intention to rush Jack and do as much physical damage to him as she could manage. Jack, however, predicted this move; once Teddy was on the crib mattress, he spun around on his heel, his right hand holding a gun that he'd pointed directly at her chest. "Nice try," he told her, his tone almost laughing at her. "Now. I'm going to leave. You've got two days to put this little game into motion, or I will kill every single member of your family—actually, I've spent the last few years thinking about your cute little sister-in-law; her, I might keep alive. For a little while, at least..._

" _Anyway, you stay here with your son for the next five minutes. Don't try to raise any alarms. Anyone who gets in my way will pay the price." He walked towards her and she immediately stepped aside to free his way to the door. Her only thought now was getting this man as far from her son as possible. Jack smiled at the move, but reached out a hand to run the back of his fingers down her cheek—she fought not to shiver at the touch, knowing it was what he wanted. "I'll be seeing you very soon..."_

 _The moment he left the room, Ana closed the distance between herself and her son, snatching the boy from his crib and holding him closely as she broke into sobs._

Ana looked away from where she'd been speaking to her hands in order to meet Christian's gaze. Though she knew what she'd find—horror, anger—it still made her flinch and she had to remind herself that only part of that was directed towards her.

"That fucker touched my son?" Christian asked through clenched teeth. "He actually put his lips on Teddy's forehead?"

Nodding, Ana averted her gaze, desperately seeking something to catch her attention other than his blazing gray eyes.

"I'll fucking kill him!" Christian jumped from his seat, pacing around the room like a wild, caged animal. When he turned back to her, she realized the only outlet for his anger was her and she wanted nothing more than to run away and hide. "How the fuck could you not have told me this?" he shouted at her, his voice cracking on the last few words.

"I told you," she said in a small voice, "I was scared, Christian. He'd threatened our family and I couldn't risk letting him get anywhere near any of you."

"So you decided to just leave us?" Christian asked in a disgusted voice. "Did you not trust me to keep you safe? Fuck, Ana! I would have used every tool at my disposal to do whatever it took to ensure your safety!"

She jumped up from her own chair, willing him to understand. "It wasn't me I was worried about, Christian!" she shouted at him. "If it were only me, I would have told you and I would have trusted you to keep me safe. But it wasn't about me! It was about you and Teddy and your parents and my parents and your siblings! I couldn't live with myself if something happened to any of you, Christian." She paused, taking in the look of utter shock on her husband's face. Neither of them could remember the last time she'd stood up to him quite like this. Ana knew his stunned silence wouldn't last for too long and she needed to take advantage of it. "I'm sorry about all of this. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. And I thought I could go along with whatever Jack wanted, but the moment I walked into my house and you were sitting there, I realized I couldn't do it anymore. My life has been so empty over the last year and I realize I've done it to myself, but..." She trailed off, shrugging helplessly, unable to find the words to express what she was feeling.

Christian's face softened slowly, his anger ebbing away as he crossed the room towards her. "Oh, Ana," he nearly whimpered, reaching out to her. Without waiting for his next move, she stumbled forward into his arms, wrapping her own around his waist and burying her face in his chest. Just the familiar scent of him comforted her more than anything else could right now and she felt her body crumble into his as she broke down into sobs. He held her, his own chest heaving as he lowered his own emotional walls.

They stood there for what could have been hours until Christian pulled back just a little, one of his hands making its way slowly from her waist up her side, over her arm, to cup her chin. His breathing had changed, and even though she knew what was going to happen a millisecond before it actually did, the moment he touched her lips to his, she gasped in surprise. It was the softest, most exquisite, saddest kiss he'd ever given her. It was as though he was begging her to come back to him, despite all the pain she'd put him through.

The sweetness of the kiss only lasted seconds before he growled, biting at her lip. His mouth began a downward path, nipping at her neck while his hands explored every inch of her body at a frantic pace, like he couldn't decide where he wanted to rest his hands. While he busied himself with her body, she fisted her hands in his hair, reveling in the softness of it, something she'd somehow forgotten while they were apart.

Her breathing stalled as her husband tore at her blouse, pulling it apart and scattering the buttons all over the floor—she found she didn't quite care about the state of her work shirt, and would continue to not care, so long as he continued nipping at her breasts through her bra. Christian dropped to his knees, his hands skimming her body lightly as they made their way downwards towards her skirt.

He smirked up at her. "Polyester, Mrs. Grey?" he murmured huskily. "I believe I mentioned once or twice that you should always be in silk or satin..."

"Uh huh," was the only thing she could come up with as a response as she gazed down at him with hooded eyes.

He groaned at the sight of her and stood up, sliding his hands up her body again to her bottom, lifting her into his arms. "I've missed you so fucking much, Anastasia," he told her softly as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"I've missed you, too, Christian," she murmured, placing her hands on either side of his face and leaning in to kiss him. Right before her lips touched his again, she begged, "Take me to bed."

"Try and stop me," he said against her lips, turning and taking her to the bedroom.

* * *

Later on, as Christian rolled away from his wife, sweaty and panting, though not quite sated, he wondered how he'd managed to survive the last year without being able to bury himself inside her and forget about everything. As it was, he nearly forgot they weren't in their bed in Seattle and that it had been more than a year since they'd done what they just had. He turned his head, finding his wife's eyes wide and staring at the ceiling. The look on her face had to match his feelings perfectly: like new life had come to her, like nothing could touch her so long as she was in his arms.

But the happiness he felt at the reunion was short-lived. Much as he had missed her, much as he loved her, he couldn't just ignore what she'd done. She'd run. He'd believed she'd been happy and out of nowhere, she'd left, abandoning not only him, but their son as well. Regardless of her reasons, he couldn't just automatically forgive her for what she'd done. Jack Hyde, he could—and would—deal with in his own way, and he absolutely would succeed in bringing his wife back home where she belonged. But how did he go back to trusting her after everything? How could he be sure she wouldn't run again?

She turned her head to meet his gaze, tears brimming at her eyes. "What are you thinking?" she mouthed.

He started to tell her the truth, but he wasn't quite ready to face his fears just yet. "Will you come home with me?" he asked, uncharacteristically nervous all of a sudden..

Ana bit her lip against a sad smile. "You still want me back?" she asked reluctantly.

"Of course I do," he told her emphatically, rolling onto his side and reaching out to softly touch her face. "You really think I came all the way out here just to give up right before I get what I wanted? Do you not know me at all?"

She giggled. The sound made happiness bloom within him—he'd really missed that beautiful sound... "Yes," she whispered, shuffling towards him until her hand rested on his chest. "I'll come home with you."

"Oh, thank God," he breathed in relief, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. He buried his nose in her hair, breathing her in. "We'll get through this," he promised her. "We can get back to normal. And that fucker Hyde will get exactly what he deserves. I promise."

He felt her nod into his chest, holding him more tightly. With their arms around one another, the Greys drifted off to sleep. Just before he fell victim, he felt rather than heard his wife whisper, "I love you," into his chest, and for the first time in far too long, Christian Grey fell asleep with a smile on his face.


	5. Chapter 5

When she woke the next morning, Ana refused to open her eyes. She'd been having the most amazing dream—Christian had found her and had come to bring her home. She'd met him at his hotel and told him everything that had happened, and afterwards, he'd carried her off to his bedroom and spent the rest of the day and night making love to her in every way he knew how. Opening her eyes, she knew, would only confirm that this had indeed been a dream. She would still be in her small, lonely, cold bed in Omaha, Nebraska, with no hope of being truly happy again. At the same time, however, if it had all truly been a dream, it meant she hadn't broken any of the rules in Jack Hyde's twisted little game, and Teddy was still safe in Seattle with his father.

Whatever she discovered upon opening her eyes would be bittersweet. As much as she wanted the amazing, beautiful dream about Christian to be real, the nightmare it would result in wouldn't be worth it.

Finally, she opened her eyes and felt her breath catch in her throat. This was not her bedroom. Her bedroom was painted in a sickly yellow color and was cold and unwelcoming. This room was bright and pleasant and warm... and familiar. If she didn't know any better, she'd have sworn she'd just woken up at the Heathman Hotel in Portland. But that wasn't possible, and she knew it. A little sign on her bedside table confirmed she was still in Omaha, Nebraska.

"Shit," she breathed, starting to panic. What had she done?

 _You know exactly what you've done,_ said her subconscious rather smugly. _You did the exact thing you've wanted to do since the day you left Seattle._

She sighed _._ That was true. The only thing that had kept her from contacting Christian before now was the fear of what Jack Hyde would do when he found out. That fear was still prevalent now, but she knew Christian would do everything in his power to protect their family. And if she _had_ tried contacting Christian before now, she would have screwed it up somehow. She didn't have Christian's finesse when it came to being all sly and secretive. Her family would have been dead before she finished dialing the number...

 _Enough of that!_

She sat up slowly in the very comfortable bed, smiling at the tangled sheets and the memories that came along with them, then surveyed the rest of the room. Her déjà vu only strengthened at the sight of a shopping bag sitting across from the bed. There was no doubt in her mind that enclosed in said bag would be a brand-new set of clothing, probably courtesy of one Jason Taylor. Rolling her eyes fondly at her husband, she slid out of bed and indeed found a hooded sweatshirt and jeans—her travel clothes of choice. Her heart fluttered; this was really happening, she was really going home! For once she didn't feel nearly so self-conscious to discover the bra and panties set in the shopping bag. She was just relieved this was actually reality.

Without further hesitation, she made her way to the shower and quickly washed herself, feeling impatient to find Christian and get the day going. After drying, brushing her teeth—with Christian's toothbrush, despite there being a brand-new one sitting beside it meant for her use—she dressed and left the bedroom.

Out in the suite's sitting room, Christian was fully dressed wearing a pair of jeans, a white linen shirt, and nothing looked more delicious at the moment than he did. He had his back to her as he gave Taylor some set of instructions that Ana caught the very tail end of.

"...everyone. Gail, my parents, Kate, Elliot, Mia, Ethan... Make sure they're all under constant surveillance. If that fucker Hyde makes one move on any of them, bring him in. And I want him alive, Taylor. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir," Taylor murmured, his eyes darting over his boss's shoulder at Ana. His expression became closed off and he cleared his throat. "Good morning, Mrs. Grey."

Christian spun around, rewarding her with his bright shy smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Good morning, Mrs. Grey," he repeated, his voice husky.

"Good morning, Taylor, Christian," she said as she approached the two men. "I suppose I have you to thank for the clothes, Taylor?"

Taylor nodded stiffly and Ana got the idea he wasn't exactly ready to forgive her for abandoning Christian and Teddy just yet. Inwardly, she wondered if this was the reception she received from Taylor, a man from whom she'd heard less than a thousand words in all the time she'd known him, what was it going to be like when she saw everyone else?

Christian cleared his throat, looking pointedly at Taylor. "We'll see you in a few hours, Jason," he said evenly.

"Of course, sir," Taylor said, looking away from Ana. He turned away and started out the door before glancing over his shoulder very briefly. "Welcome back, Mrs. Grey."

She smiled shyly. "Thank you, Jason," she said softly.

He nodded once, shot a quick glance at Christian, and left the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

Ana turned to Christian who was leaning against the back of the couch, his arms and ankles crossed as he stared broodingly at the floor. With a sigh, Ana went to her husband and stood in front of him, suddenly nervous. He looked up at her slowly, his eyes darkening and his Adam's apple bobbing in her throat. "What was all that about?" she asked, jerking her head back at the door.

Christian sighed as well, uncrossing his arms to rest his hands on her hips and pulling her closer. "We're upping security," he told her quietly, kissing her forehead. "I don't think Hyde can get to anybody, but considering what you told me yesterday and past experiences, I can't take that chance." Ana knew immediately he was referring to Hyde's kidnapping of Mia Grey a few years back. "And, if you're coming home with me, I won't risk the chance of you running again if you think Hyde is getting too close to us."

For a very brief moment, Christian reverted to the lost little boy too afraid to risk losing what little bit of happiness he'd managed to gain, leaving Ana feeling guilty for the continued pain she was causing him. She had a feeling the guilt would last much longer than Christian's anger towards her, which, she suspected, wasn't going away any time soon, regardless of the fact that at the moment he was acting like nothing had changed between them.

 _He doesn't want to rock the boat,_ her subconscious sadly, shooting her a glare. _He's afraid that if he unleashes his anger at you before you get home to Seattle, you'll run and never turn back._

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Christian stood up from the couch and looked at her with a smile. "Shall we have breakfast before we catch our flight, Mrs. Grey?" he asked. She wondered how he did it—how he felt so much pain, but still managed to summon up the energy to use _that_ tone with her.

"I'd love to, Mr. Grey," she said shyly.

His smile widened as he tugged on her hand, leading her to the table where their meal had been laid out for them. Ana sighed contentedly at the familiar sight of her favorite breakfast—granola and Greek yogurt. Christian released her hand to pull out her chair then walked around the table to sit across from her. "Eat up," he said casually, the stern look in his eyes belying his words.

 _Some things never change..._

Breakfast was silent. Each Grey apparently concerned about upsetting the peace between them by speaking. Ana was nervous. Aside from being with her husband for the first time in a year, today they would return to Seattle where she would have to face the repercussions of her actions. She had no illusions of a warm welcome upon landing. Her in-laws might be pleased to see her to begin with, but it wouldn't be long before their bitterness about what she'd done to Christian and Teddy took over. The worst part about it was that she knew Christian would defend her to his family to the point of threatening to cut them out of his life if they didn't at least treat his wife civilly in his presence. And of course, she would deserve every unkind word they flung at her and more.

Nothing made her more nervous, however, than seeing her son again. Would he remember her? Would he even want anything to do with her after she'd left him? She wanted to ask Christian about him—they'd talked a little the night before about Teddy and the rest of the family—but she hadn't wanted to get too far into those discussions. Not just yet anyway...

"What are you thinking?" he asked softly, reaching over and taking her hand.

She met his gaze, finding them full of kindness and understanding. "Have you told anybody we'll be coming home today?" she asked, taking a bite of her yogurt.

He watched her coolly, probably fully aware of what was going on in her mind. "No," he answered curtly. "At this point, Taylor and the others think it's better if we keep our arrival quiet. If Hyde is keeping tabs on your every move, he'll have hours while we're in the air to go after anybody he wants. This way, we hope to avoid anything messy until we get to Seattle."

Her eyes widened and she swallowed her granola too quickly. " _Until_ we get to Seattle?" she choked. "What happens then?"

He raised an eyebrow at her, fixing her with his best _I'm-dealing-with-a-two-year-old_ expression. "What do you think happens?" he asked rather harshly. "That fucker is going down, Ana, and I'm not wasting the opportunity this time."

Christian's words to Taylor suddenly came back to her. "... _bring him in. And I want him alive, Taylor..."_ Deciding it was probably better not to ask right away, Ana finished off her breakfast, much to her husband's satisfaction. "So when do we leave?" she asked briskly.

"A few minutes," he replied without looking at his watch. "Do we need to pick up anything from your... house?"

She shook her head, averting her gaze from him. "No," she whispered. "Everything I need is either here with me now or in Seattle." She met his eyes again, hoping he understood her meaning. Judging by the softness in his eyes, she got her point across pretty well.

"Good," he murmured, his shy smile back in place. "We should go, then."

* * *

Traveling to from the hotel to the airport went very smoothly—a little too smoothly, Christian thought, as he took his wife's hand and led her onto the plane. Both Taylor and Sawyer seemed uneasy and more on guard than normal, but that could've been due to what they knew was happening as their plane took off down the runway. Every so often, Christian glanced over at his wife, squeezing her hand gently both to comfort her as the plane took off into the air and to reassure himself that she was real and that she was really coming home with him.

"We still have a lot to work through, don't we?" she whispered, looking at their entwined hands.

"Yes," he told her.

She nodded, sighing heavily and turning away to look out the window. "I really fucked up, Christian."

He closed his eyes at her words, really not wanting to get into this right now, especially in front of witnesses. "Yes, you did," he told her coldly. "And I am really fucking pissed off at you. But honestly, Anastasia, I just don't give a shit right now. We will deal with this in our own way in our own time. Right now, I just want to get past this Jack Hyde bullshit. So just drop it. Okay?"

She nodded slightly and most of the rest of the plane ride was spent in silence. He hated the tension between them, but he couldn't think of anything to break it right now; what did you say to the woman who had deserted you and her son, who didn't trust you enough to let you keep her safe? Christian hadn't forgotten his wife's words from a few nights ago, and though he realized it had been her intention to get him out of her house, he couldn't help but wonder how much of what she'd said had been true.

" _You controlled every aspect of my life down to which underwear I wore on a daily basis."_

Possibly a slight exaggeration. It was true that Christian very much enjoyed it when his wife wore nice clothing, and enjoyed it even more to know that he was the only man who would get to take off that nice clothing.

" _I had no chance at privacy."_

At any time she could have asked the security team to back off a little, and if she would have come to Christian with her concerns, they could have discussed the issues. He could have arranged for the two of them to get away together, without security.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he had been part of her lack of privacy issue. If it wasn't Gail or the security team, Ana was dealing with Teddy, or her in-laws, or her own parents. She really hadn't had much time on her own—she'd gone from living with a roommate while she was in college to living with an overbearing, control freak CEO who wanted nothing more than for her to be his submissive. There was that five-day period when she'd left him—the first time—and after that they'd essentially gone from that to engaged, then married, then pregnant.

Which, of course, brought them rather neatly to one of her last points: Teddy.

" _You think I wanted a child so early in my life?"_

She'd been so young. They'd moved so quickly into everything. Neither of them had had much time to adjust to anything they'd been through, and all of a sudden, they were expecting a child. Ana had had plans for her life, and while those plans had probably included marriage and children, he was certain that stage of her life wasn't expected for several more years. It didn't help that he'd molded her into a CEO's wife, parading her around to fundraiser after fundraiser, introducing her to the most powerful people in the country, giving her everything she could ever want...

He felt his eyes close as he let his head fall back to rest on the airplane seat. Had this scenario been inevitable? If Jack Hyde hadn't intervened, would there have been some point at which Ana would have left anyway?

A shuddering breath escaped his chest as he looked over at his wife, surprised to find her fast asleep, resting her head against the window. He carefully extricated his hand from hers without waking her and, noting that the seatbelt sign had been turned off for some time, stood, stretched, and walked towards the back of the airplane. Vaguely, he wondered how anyone could possibly travel on commercial flights filled with strangers, some of whom seemed to have the tendency to force conversation on those with whom they travelled. He much preferred his method of flying: having the plane mostly to himself, not being incessantly bothered by flight attendants offering him peanuts and pretzels, maintaining the ability to come and go from his seat as he pleased without having to worry about bumping into anyone.

Taylor was lounged back in his own seat, a book in his hands, and he looked up when Christian grew nearer. "Everything all right, sir?" he asked briskly, setting aside his book without marking the page.

"Fine," Christian muttered, gesturing at the open seat across from the other man in question, asking if it was all right to join him. Taylor nodded and sat up in his chair. "Anything new?"

"No, sir," Taylor told him, "not since we took off."

Christian sighed pensively. The latest word had been that the search for Jack Hyde was underway, though tracking the fucker was proving a challenge. They'd attempted to track him through the phone call he'd placed to Ana a few nights before, but he'd apparently anticipated this move: the cell phone he used had been disposable and the GPS signal scrambled. Taylor had thoroughly questioned Ana about when she had last seen Hyde in person—about four months ago, when he forced her to move to that rundown house in Omaha. He rarely contacted her, though she had assured them he would have kept a few sets of eyes on her at all times.

Was this how Christian had acted towards his wife? Was this why she felt the way she did about him? Was he really any better than Jack Hyde?

No. He did what he did for her safety. Hyde did what he did to torture and torment her. Jack Hyde was a sick fuck who would get exactly what was coming to him, sooner rather than later.

Christian glanced up, finding Taylor watching him closely. "Something to say, Jason?" he asked evenly.

Taylor gave his own sigh. "No, sir, nothing."

"No need to lie," Christian snapped. "We're all friends here, right?"

Hazel eyes met gray, sizing up the other man. "Permission to speak freely?" Taylor asked wryly. Christian rolled his hand impatiently. "Do you think it wise to have brought Mrs. Grey home?"

Christian's eyes widened at the bold statement and he had to fight down his anger; he had, after all, invited Taylor to speak his thoughts. "Do you not?" he asked in his measured tone.

"Sir, we've known each other for quite a long time. I've always kept your secrets and will continue to, regardless of any nondisclosure agreement. I watched as woman after woman walked into your life, some lasting a little longer than others, and I always knew what you did with them. And I'm not judging you, sir, just illustrating a point," he said hastily as Christian opened his mouth angrily. "I've always maintained you're a good man, Mr. Grey, and after everything, that's not changed. The only thing about you that has changed since you and I met was when Anastasia Steele walked into your life. I have _never_ seen you pursue someone the way you did her. And at first, I thought she'd last as long as the others and you'd eventually move on. But," Taylor smiled wryly and rolled his eyes a little, "you didn't. I watched while that girl changed you and I watched you change for her. I've never seen you as happy as you are when you're with her, sir, and I've never seen you as lost and miserable as you are without her. This last year has proved that."

"Why the fuck are you telling me this, Taylor?" Christian snapped exasperatedly, wondering where all this touchy-feely bullshit came from.

"Because you doubt yourself, sir. Constantly. And I realize this is a matter between you and your wife, but for those of us who have seen you since she left... Sir, we just don't want to see you like that again. All I'm saying is be careful—"

"Enough," Christian said tightly, breathing heavily. "I appreciate your concern, Taylor, but as you so helpfully pointed out, this is a matter between myself and my wife. Your job is to find Jack Hyde. Concentrate on that. Is that understood?"

Taylor averted his gaze from his boss's as he nodded. He opened his mouth to apologize, but before he got the chance, a scream cut through the airplane, making both men jump.

"No!" cried the shrill voice. "No, please, not my baby!"

"Ana," Christian gasped, jumping from his seat and rushing back to his wife. Taylor was right behind him. The two men reached Ana to find her thrashing in her sleep and it took Christian a moment to snap out of his shock enough to envelope her in his arms. In her fear and confusion, she tried to fight off her husband's hold, punching and kicking at him as her eyes shot open.

"Ana!" Christian called to her over and over. "Ana, baby, it's all right, you're safe! Teddy's safe!"

His words finally managed to reach her and she stopped fighting him, though she continued to sob into his chest. "Shh," he murmured, glancing at Taylor's concerned expression. Their eyes met for the first time since their conversation, and Taylor mouthed an apology, which Christian accepted with a curt nod.

"Is there anything I can get you, sir?" Taylor asked quietly.

"Water," Christian responded, not loosening his grip on Ana.

Taylor nodded, turned, and headed towards the rear of the plane where at least two flight attendants were standing around, gawking at the Greys. Christian returned his attention to his wife whose sobs were receding finally. Very gently, he pulled away, placed a finger beneath her chin, and lifted her head so he could look at her, forcing a small smile on his face. "Hi," he breathed when she finally met his eyes again.

"Hi," she replied shakily. She reached a hand up to her face, roughly wiping at her wet face.

"None of that," he chided gently, pulling away her hands and using his handkerchief to wipe away the tears on her cheeks. Once he was satisfied that he'd taken care of the worst of it, he leaned back in his seat, pulling her along with him. "Are you okay?"

She nodded into his chest. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"For what?" he asked in the same tone, running his fingers through her hair. "It was a nightmare, Ana. You're not the only one who has them."

She gave a watery chuckle.

"Sir."

Christian looked up as Taylor handed him a bottle of water.

"We'll be landing in Seattle soon, sir."

"Thank you, Taylor," he said stiffly. He set aside the bottle for the moment in order to reach over to buckle his wife's seatbelt. As he tightened the belt, he gave her a small, shy smile. "We're almost home, Mrs. Grey."

* * *

Christian and Ana sat side-by-side in the black SUV as Taylor drove them to Bellevue to Christian's parents' home. It was still early in the day in Washington, and Teddy was probably still fast asleep, especially if Christian's suspicions about how his father tended to spoil the boy by keeping him up late at night watching movies and filling him with sugar were accurate. That, however, bode just fine for Christian; as it was, Ana was shaking with nerves at the thought of how Grace and Carrick were going to react to her arrival, and adding Teddy to the mix so early would probably only overwhelm her.

She still wouldn't tell him what her nightmare was about and Christian tried not to press the issue. He knew from experience that having to relive something like that so soon after it happened wouldn't do either of them any favors. Besides, he had a few ideas on what had caused her sudden panic, and all of them involved Jack Hyde. More than once since he'd woken Ana from her nightmare, Christian closed his eyes and took in several deep breaths, letting them out very slowly in an attempt to bury his anger until he could let it out in a healthy manner.

Beside him, Ana was staring out the window, chewing worriedly on her bottom lip. There had to be some way to make this easier for her, even though there was still part of him who didn't want this to be easy for her. She'd made her bed by leaving her family and now she had to face the people she'd hurt. Still, every fiber of his being seemed to exist to protect Anastasia Grey from anything unpleasant or worrying. It was all very confusing...

From the front seat, Christian heard Taylor curse softly and he dragged his eyes from his wife's face to look in front of him, and immediately felt all the blood drain from his body. They were at the bottom of Grace and Carrick's driveway which was now full of police cruisers with their lights still flashing.

"What the fuck?" Christian breathed.

"I don't know, sir," Taylor said evenly, hitting the gas a little in order to reach the front door more quickly.

"Christian..." Ana begged, gripping his hand a little too tightly.

The SUV stopped, Christian pulled his hand from his wife's, and opened his door before Taylor could even put the car in park or turn it off. "Keep Ana here, Taylor."

"Yes, sir."

He heard Taylor's response as well as Ana's protests as he closed the door behind him and rushed to the front door. A police officer attempted to stop him, but Christian brushed past the young man, shaking off the hands grasping at him to stop his progress, and burst into the house.

"Mom!" he called out rather frantically. "Dad!"

"Christian!"

He'd started to make his way up the stairs, suddenly desperate to check on Teddy. Turning away from the staircase, he spotted Mia sprinting towards him, and he opened his arms to her just in time for her to fling herself at him. He held his baby sister closely, suddenly terrified at how badly she was shaking and sobbing.

"Mia," he croaked. "What happened? Where are Mom and Dad?"

Mia pulled away, her face puffy and her eyes rimmed with red. "They went to work," she whispered fearfully. "Teddy was asleep so I went to make us some breakfast before I woke him up..." She took in a shuddering breath that caused her whole body to heave. "Christian, I'm sorry! I tried to stop him! But he took him!"

Christian was fighting not to collapse to the floor. "Who took who?" he managed to ask, his voice harsh.

"Teddy," she gasped. "He took Teddy!"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Sorry about the upload issues. I got the chapters mixed up when I posted them.

* * *

"CHRISTIAN!"

Ana shouted after her husband as he slammed shut the car door. She clutched for the door handle, but realized Taylor was, as always, a step ahead of her: he'd locked the doors and somehow managed to activate the child safety locks on her. Fixing him with a glare that would make her husband proud, Ana reached forward and actually punched Taylor in the shoulder. Taylor spun around in his seat, actually clutching his shoulder and staring at Ana in shock.

"Mrs. Grey!" he managed to say.

"Open the fucking doors, Taylor," she growled at him, her eyes darting out the window as Christian forced his way past a police officer who was guarding the front door.

Taylor shook his head. "I can't, ma'am," he said apologetically. "Not until Mr. Gr—"

"Taylor! I am so not in the mood to deal with this right now! Let me out of here before I start kicking out the windows!"

Taylor looked at her, apparently trying to work out whether she would follow through with the threat. He finally sighed, shaking his head, but unlocked the doors. Without waiting for him, Ana forced open the door and vaulted out of the car, sprinting after her husband. The police officer who tried stopping Christian just stepped aside for her to rush into the house. She arrived just in time to see Mia Grey clutching her brother's arms to keep her balance and telling him in a gasping, fearful voice, "Teddy. He took Teddy!"

There was some sort of strangled sob that forced its way out of Ana's voice, but that was drowned out by the sound of anger and despair that Christian emitted. Taylor entered the house just behind her, catching his breath, and placed his hands on her shoulders to keep her steady on her feet.

"Christian," she said weakly, drawing the attention of the Grey siblings. Mia's eyes widened when she recognized her sister-in-law and Christian immediately released his sister to wrap his wife in his arms. "Where is he? Where's Teddy?"

"I don't know," Christian croaked, raising his head a little to address Taylor. "Get with the police. Find out what the fuck happened here. And _find my son!_ "

"Yes, sir."

There was a shuffle of footsteps that Ana assumed was Taylor turning around and leaving the house again. "Come," Christian whispered into Ana's hair. Gently, he turned away, leading both his wife and his still stunned sister to sit down on the couch. "Mia, what happened?"

Mia was still staring wide-eyed at Ana. Christian rolled his eyes in frustration. "Mia!" he said loudly, snapping his fingers in front of her face to get her attention.

The younger girl blinked rapidly and shook her head in order to snap out of her daze. "What?" she whispered.

"What. Happened?" Christian asked again through clenched teeth.

"Right..." Mia muttered, taking a deep breath. "Like I said, Mom and Dad went to work, they said they'd be home by lunchtime, Teddy was asleep, so I got up and started making breakfast. I heard a noise like breaking glass upstairs and I ran up and..." She sucked in a deep breath, closing her eyes as though she was in pain. "He was here, Christian."

"Who?" Christian asked, even though by the tone of his voice he already knew exactly who it was.

"Jack Hyde."

Ana sucked in a sharp breath, feeling her entire world come to a sudden and complete stop. She looked at Christian, who was breathing heavily, looking exactly how she felt. Christian sprung from his seat and headed towards the front door, yelling for Taylor. He turned back briefly, apparently having gotten the attention of his head of security. "Mia, where are the men Taylor sent over?" he demanded.

Mia looked at him, bemused. "What men?" she asked.

Judging by the look on Christian's face, this was exactly the reaction he'd feared. Taylor entered the house looking nearly as angry as Christian and now stood as an outlet for his boss's anger. "Where are they?" Christian growled at Taylor.

"Sir, I don't know," Taylor responded through clenched teeth. "Ryan assured me they would be in place hours ago. They should have been here."

Ana couldn't listen anymore. She could barely stand the curious glances Mia was shooting her every so often. If she thought Christian would allow it, she'd go outside, perhaps to the boathouse, just to get a few deep breaths of fresh air. But at this point, she'd be surprised if he allowed her to visit the bathroom alone. She sank back into the couch cushions, covered her face with a hand, and let go of her tears. This was _exactly_ what she'd been afraid of since the very moment Christian had come to her. All of his precious precautions had failed and now Teddy, her sweet baby boy, was god knew where with Jack fucking Hyde.

 _You know, if you'd never left in the first place, you wouldn't be in this mess right now,_ her subconscious told her scathingly, dabbing at her own eyes with a handkerchief.

Of course, her subconscious was right, and it only proved to everybody how inept she truly was. Somebody sat beside her—she didn't bother to look up to find out who it was, not that she'd recognize anyone through her hazy eyes anyway—and pulled her into their arms, allowing her to cry into their shoulder.

* * *

"Where's Ryan?" Christian asked for what had to be the fiftieth time in the last half hour. Taylor had been on the phone almost nonstop, searching for his entire security team, all of whom, excepting Sawyer, seemed to have disappeared or just refused to answer the phone. Christian was quite prepared to hand all their asses to them when they were found. None of them could be counted on, none of them could be trusted. How could he have ever believed they could?

Ana and Mia were sitting together on the sofa, Ana wrapped in his sister's arms. This was the exact scenario she'd been warning him against since that night in her Omaha home. But as always, spoiled, mega-millionaire CEO Christian Grey had to have everything and more, and he hadn't listened to her, even after she'd told him exactly why she'd left him. He should have left her alone, just as she'd asked, begged him to do. He should have just let her go.

 _No._

He couldn't have done that. Despite the repercussions of finally having his wife home, he didn't think he would have done anything any differently. The number one priority right now, above everything else, was locating Jack fucking Hyde. And if that prick hurt one hair on Teddy's head, so help him... As it was, Christian fully intended to take out a year's worth of anger, frustrations, fear, and hurt out on that bastard—

"Christian!"

He spun around at the sound of his name, feeling briefly relieved to see his mother and father enter the house. They looked around their home which was now crawling with police as they searched for any evidence of where Hyde might have taken Teddy.

"Son, what the hell is going on?" Carrick asked in wide-eyed confusion. Somehow, his eyes went wider as he found Ana and Mia on the couch.

"Hyde was here," Christian told his parents in a low voice. "He took Teddy."

Grace gasped and stumbled into her husband. "What do you mean, he was _here_ , Christian?" she asked sharply.

"Just what I said," Christian responded, suddenly feeling exhausted. "I didn't get much from Mia, but she's in shock, I think. The police, I'm certain, will want to question her—you'll probably want to be with her, Dad—and as soon as Taylor finishes his phone calls, he's got a few questions as well. Were either of you ever contacted by our security team? Taylor called in the order this morning to patrol here and at Kate and Elliott's."

"No, Christian, nobody contacted us," Carrick told him, still utterly confused. "Son, is that Ana?" he whispered.

"Yes, it's Ana!" Christian replied loudly and impatiently, startling Mia and the girl in question from their quiet... whatever they were doing.

"Okay," Grace said soothingly, patting her son's arm. "Relax, son... We'll figure this out."

For the first time since Christian set foot in his parents' home and found out his son was missing, he felt calmer. His so very precious self-control had been precariously slipping and he'd known that if they hadn't walked in when they had, things would have started breaking—whether it was material things or people, he hadn't quite decided. Carrick gently led Christian over to an armchair and forced him to sit down; Grace had immediately gone to her daughter and Ana, and pulled them both into her arms. Gently, and far better than Christian could have managed it, Carrick eased the details of the morning's events from Mia. And impatient as he was for her to get past her usual morning routine of waking, showering, checking her cell phone and email, Christian knew deep down this wasn't something he could rush. The devil was in the details after all, and in this case, the devil was Jack Hyde.

Mia had made pancakes and bacon for Teddy and herself, then had made her way to rouse the boy himself. When she'd gotten to Teddy's bedroom, the door had been left wide open, the blanket on his bed was bunched up on the floor, and the teddy bear the boy tended to refuse to go anywhere without had been thrown carelessly into a corner of the room. At first she'd thought perhaps Teddy had woken up scared and had gone in search for his grandparents, aunt, or father. She'd gone through the house calling Teddy's name, firstly with the intention of finding him and comforting him if he was indeed scared; but as the minutes had dragged on and there hadn't been any answer from the little boy, she'd begun to panic. She'd checked everywhere she could think of and finally made her way out into the garage, the last place in the house for her to search. That was when she'd seen Jack Hyde. He'd had Teddy, who, at first had been studying Hyde curiously, apparently unsure what to make of him, then as he'd seen his Aunt Mia looking frightened and upset, he'd begun to cry.

Christian's breathing was becoming in erratic spurts as he imagined his terrified little boy in the arms of that bastard Hyde. In Mia's shock of finding Hyde in the garage with her nephew and what the others thought might have been flashbacks to the hours during which she had been held hostage by Hyde a few years ago, she had frozen on the spot, unable to stop Hyde as he grinned nastily and ducked out a side door to the garage where a car was apparently waiting—within only a few seconds, Mia had heard the peeling of tires as what Mia believed might be an SUV sped off.

Mia couldn't recall any other details and she had reduced herself to tears again, and had fallen back into her mother's arms again. Christian felt someone pat his shoulder. He looked up to find his dad jerking his head over his shoulder, his message clear. With a brief glance at his wife, not wanting to leave her side just yet, Christian reluctantly nodded and stood, following his dad to a corner of the room where they wouldn't be overheard by the girls.

"Why are we just sitting here?" Christian demanded in a growl. "This isn't where I need to be, Dad!"

Carrick sighed heavily. "I know, son," he responded calmly. "But until we have more information, there isn't much you can do. It's out of your control."

"No," Christian snapped, refusing to admit even the possibility. "How can you expect me to just fucking sit here?"

"Yes," Carrick responded simply. "For now, you have to, Christian. And you have to trust me on this, son, please. You can't just run off—let the police do their job. Besides, do you really think it wise to leave Anastasia alone right now? Imagine how this must feel to her..."

Christian's eyes moved back to his wife and his anger briefly receded, leaving him feeling lost and scared and confused. "Dad, this was what she was most terrified about," he whispered. "This is why she didn't want to come back."

Carrick's brow furrowed deeply. Obviously he wanted to ask for more details, but seemed to decide now wasn't the best time. "Tell me about the security you expected to be here."

Running his hands through his hair in frustration, once again promising painful deaths for his entire security team, Christian told his father the arrangements he and Taylor had made earlier in the morning before they left Omaha. "There was supposed to a security team here this morning to keep an eye on you guys. Another team was sent to Elliott's. I was assured before we took off that everything would be taken care of, but obviously someone dropped the fucking ball."

"About that, sir," came a voice behind Christian.

He spun around to find Taylor looking gray and angry. "What is it?" Christian snapped.

"We found Ryan, sir," Taylor began hesitantly.

"And?" Christian demanded impatiently.

Taylor sighed and shook his head. "Sir, Ryan is dead. Sawyer found him with his throat cut in my office at Escala. He never even got a chance to make any of the phone calls."

"Fuck!" Christian yelled, startling his wife, mother, sister, and the police that were still crawling around the house.

 _How can this get any worse?_ he asked himself.

Another part of his mind glared at him. _Don't ask yourself that, Grey. You wouldn't like the answer..._

Faintly, he heard Carrick telling Taylor to speak with the police about Ryan, leaving Christian to his thoughts. How had it only been four days since Taylor had come to him telling him that he'd found Anastasia? The last year had been a rollercoaster, but there hadn't been any of the major excitement that had been there during the first six months or so of his and Ana's relationship. Life had finally started calming down when his wife had left, and even afterwards, miserable as he had been, life had, all things considered, gone on smoothly. Christian had had his son to get him through even the darkest of times when Ana had left—and there had been some very dark times.

Now, though, everything he'd built up in his adult life was falling apart. He'd found out Jack Hyde had somehow gotten past every protection around his house, had threatened his wife and son, forced his wife to leave him. As soon as he'd finally found her again, convinced her to come home, everything was looking up again. Now his son was missing. A member of his highly-trained, elite security team had been murdered in his apartment.

There were so many questions that Christian was barely able to organize them in his own mind, let alone discuss them aloud. One, however, kept sneaking to the front of queue: How did Hyde get to Ryan so soon after speaking to Taylor? Ryan wouldn't have hesitated to contact the other security team members; the moment he hung up with Taylor, he would have already started dialing the other phone numbers, using Taylor's desk phone to dial the next one. Only one explanation came to Christian's mind, and it wasn't one he liked.

"He's fucking working with someone," Christian whispered, bringing a halt to whatever Carrick and Taylor were discussing. The pair looked at him questioningly. "It's the only explanation. I want to know who he's been in contact with, Taylor."

Taylor hesitated. "Sir, we can't even track him yet, it's not going to be easy—"

"I don't give a fuck about easy," Christian growled into Taylor's face. "Find him or your ass is fired!"

"Christian," Carrick scolded.

Christian turned his glare on his father briefly before looking at Taylor again. "Get to work. I want reports every half hour."

"Yes, sir," Taylor said stiffly. Without a backwards glance, he left the house, shouting something at Sawyer as he went.

 _Shit rolls downhill._

Somehow, Carrick managed to guide Christian back towards the couch and he found himself kneeling in front of his wife. Grace and Mia had disappeared, leaving only the two of them in the room for the first time since they arrived. Ana was staring at him despondently, her eyes bloodshot, her cheeks streaked with tears. Christian felt his heart breaking at the sight of his beautiful wife looking like this and he didn't know how to begin fixing it, because he felt exactly the same way, and the only cure was to have Teddy back in his arms.

"Ana," he breathed, gently pulling her down off the couch and into his arms. She immediately buried her face in his neck and wrapped her arms his shoulders.

"I'm so sorry, Christian," she sobbed. "It's all my fault."

Managing to bite back his usual angry response about how it was her fault, her stupidity that caused all this, because it wasn't entirely her fault, he comforted her. "No, baby," he murmured into her hair. "You told me to leave, I didn't listen. We'll get through this somehow, Ana. I don't know how yet, but we will. Understand?"

He felt her nod into his neck and he increased the grip he had around her, now understanding why his father had stopped him joining the search for his son: Ana needed him. He needed Ana. This was not supposed to be happening to them.

"Christian?"

After what seemed like hours, Christian looked up at his mother who was smiling gently at him. "Yes?" he whispered, realizing Ana was asleep on his shoulder.

"Perhaps you should take her upstairs for a lie down?" Grace suggested tentatively. "This is all quite a shock for her..."

Surprising both himself and his mother, Christian agreed immediately rather than arguing on the simple basis of being told what to do. He stood easily, adjusting his wife in his arms, and followed his mother up the stairs to one of the guest rooms where he lay Ana down in the bed, brushing their hair from her eyes and kissing her forehead gently. "I love you, Anastasia," he breathed against her skin and turned, leaving the room behind his mother.

* * *

It was early evening when Ana woke. At first, she was confused as to why she felt so lost and miserable; then she took a good look around the room where she'd been sleeping and it all came crashing back.

Christian.

Teddy.

Jack Hyde.

There were no words to explain how she felt at the moment. Since last night, her greatest desire was to hold her baby boy, have her husband take them home, and get back to the life she'd missed so terribly. She may not have that chance now. She knew what Jack Hyde was capable of, she knew what Jack Hyde would and could do to Teddy. When Ana had first gone to work for Jack at SIP, she'd quickly come to the conclusion that he wasn't exactly sane. When he'd kidnapped Mia and demanded the five million dollar ransom from Ana, she'd known he was unhinged. When Ana had delivered that five million dollars and Jack had done his best to kick the shit out of her in retribution for Christian firing him from SIP, she'd realized he was deranged.

But it wasn't until he'd broken into her home and threatened her family and forced her to leave that she realized the true depth of Jack Hyde's issues. She didn't think she'd ever be able to tell Christian some of the things that Jack Hyde had said and done to her over the last year, but she would certainly not ever forget those things. He had detailed to her exactly the things he would do to her husband and son if she broke his rules, and the mere thought of some of those things made her feel sick to her stomach.

" _And your little prince, Anastasia..."_

Shecould still hear Jack Hyde's voice as clearly as she would were he in the room with her.

" _Oh, you'll see him again. It'll be worth keeping you around just so you can watch your bastard son cry and beg for mercy. And it won't be quick and easy like what I'll do to your husband—it'll be slow and drawn out and more painful than anything you can imagine. He won't want to survive. In fact, before I finish, you'll be begging me to end his suffering."_

The wave of nausea she'd managed to subdue returned with a vengeance. She managed to make it to the bathroom adjoining the guestroom before emptying her stomach of everything she'd eaten since yesterday morning. Once she was confident her body was finished being sick, she pushed herself off the floor, flushed the toilet, and went to the sink to thoroughly rinse out her mouth. Wiping her face, she took a good look at herself in the mirror above the sink. Her eyes were bloodshot, most of her face was pale—the only exception being her flushed cheeks—and she didn't think she'd ever looked worse.

Beauty, however, was not a priority. She was desperate to get back downstairs and find out if there had been any leads on Teddy's whereabouts. She reached the door to the living room to find the entire Grey family gathered there—Mia seemed to be asleep on her mother's shoulder; Carrick was conversing quietly with Elliott and Kate— _when did they get here?_ Ana wondered faintly—and Christian was sitting in an armchair, staring at the fireplace with his BlackBerry held tightly in his hand as though it were his lifeline. Her eyes darted back to Kate and she knew she wasn't ready for this confrontation, but she hoped Kate would hold off on whatever she had to say until Teddy was home safely.

The moment she stepped foot into the room, opening her mouth to announce her presence, Christian's BlackBerry buzzed. Suddenly everybody was wide awake and staring at the phone with desperate anticipation, none of them even noticing Ana standing behind the couch. With a deep breath, Christian answered.

"Grey," he snapped hoarsely.

They all waited, nobody breathing as Christian listened to whoever had called him. Ana's fear only increased as she watched her husband's face go from fearful to surprised to angry to disgusted as he identified his caller in a growl:

"Hyde."

* * *

 **A/N:** Okay, so next chapter is when we get into the darker stuff, the part I've been warning you about. For those of you who have read this story before and don't want to reread that part, fair warning to skip the bit towards the end of the next chapter. For those who haven't read it and don't want to read that part, also fair warning. And for those who do want to read it, just keep in mind this is the darkest the story gets and yes it's hard to read, but it's there for a purpose.

Thanks for all the reviews! Glad so many of you are enjoying!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** This is the chapter I've been warning you about. Upon rereading it, it seems worse than it is, though it is still pretty dark and so very wrong. This is the darkest it gets and the worst part is at the end. You've been warned. Please don't overly flame me.

* * *

It had been twelve hours had gone by since Jack Hyde had kidnapped Teddy Grey. Christian had received eighteen phone calls from Taylor, one every half hour since eleven that morning, updating him on every move. Every conversation but one had been exactly the same:

" _Grey."_

" _Sir, we're still not having any luck locating Hyde. Barney is attempting to access CCTV for Bellevue and all the surrounding areas. Sawyer is still working to figure out who Hyde might be working with."_

" _I want to know the moment you hear anything, Taylor."_

" _Understood, sir."_

And the conversations ended. The only one that had yielded anything resembling useful information had come after lunch—or rather after Gail and Grace had finally given up trying to feed the rest of the family.

" _Grey."_

" _Sir, we've just received a phone call from Elizabeth Morgan. She was the head of HR at SIP and—"_

" _I know who she is, Taylor. What did she want?"_

" _Hyde contacted her this morning. Apparently Mrs. Grey isn't the only one he's been blackmailing this year; she didn't go into details on what Hyde has on her, but she did mention when Hyde called, she heard a child's voice in the background and Hyde yelling at someone. Hyde asked her to prepare a bag of supplies including food, rope, and duct tape. She's been told to await his next call for information on where to take the bag."_

" _I want all her calls monitored from here on out, Taylor. The moment Hyde calls her, get your team to wherever he directs her."_

" _Yes, sir."_

That had been six hours ago now. Carrick had insisted they inform the police of the lead; Christian had refused. While he was certain the police were very capable at their jobs, when it came down to it, Christian couldn't place his trust in anyone other than his security team.

The death of Ryan was tragic and once Teddy was found, Christian would deal with it in his own way. But as great as the loss was, Christian was more concerned at how quickly someone managed to gain access to Escala after Taylor first contacted Ryan. It was a warning, Christian knew, from Hyde, telling him no one was safe, not even the so-called top notch security personnel Christian had formed himself.

Christian looked around the living room at his family. Elliot and Kate had arrived before lunchtime, and for the first time in months, Christian hadn't commented on Kate's ever-growing stomach. Since Ana had left, the two of them had somehow managed to bond. They still weren't the best of friends and probably never would be, but an understanding had passed between them; for the first time, Kate had seen just how much Ana had meant to him. She'd seen him at his lowest this year, even sat with him a few times when he'd had a few too many drinks and he'd wanted to ramble about the loss of his wife. So when his brother and sister-in-law had announced they were having a baby, Christian was the first to congratulate them.

Upon their arrival, after being told what had been happening, Mia blurted out that Ana was upstairs asleep. Christian couldn't remember the last time Kate had looked so angry and it hadn't been directed at him. Ana's best friend had taken her leaving her husband and son personally. Kate absolutely adored Teddy and doted on him at every turn. It wasn't often that Christian and Kate mentioned Ana's name during conversation, but every time, Kate usually left muttering not-so-kind words about Anastasia. On some level, it amused Christian; not that he condoned anybody speaking unkindly about Ana, but because it was bit of a novelty to see how protective Kate had become of Christian and his son. Grace and Elliot had managed to restrain Kate before she rushed up the stairs to find Ana, and her anger hadn't abated in the slightest, but she had agreed to hold off on the screaming at Ana until Teddy had been found.

The only person Christian had told about what Jack Hyde had done last year in regards to Ana and Teddy had been his father. The pair of them had been in Carrick's study after the police had finished questioning Mia about what had happened. Christian had needed to vent, and having no other outlet, he'd confided in his father. What he'd really wanted was to take some little brown-haired girl into his playroom at Escala and let out his frustrations and anger in that way—any girl would do at this point, so long as she agreed—but it wasn't an option. Carrick assured Christian that when Hyde was captured this time, there would never be another risk of him being paroled from prison. As they left the study to rejoin the family, Christian suddenly realized that maybe some of his hotheadedness wasn't genetic after all; he swore he heard Carrick muttering something along the lines of, "and it'll be a fucking miracle if that bastard actually makes it to police custody after I'm done with him."

It was now going on eight-thirty in the evening and Christian was contemplating going up to wake his wife, despite his mother's insistences that she needed sleep, that she was in a state of shock and terribly overwhelmed, and it wouldn't do for her to have a full-on breakdown while everything else was going on.

Christian startled as his BlackBerry in his hand buzzed. He heard the collective gasp of his family and with the full knowledge that all eyes were on him, he answered the call without bothering to check the caller id and kept his eyes trained on the fireplace.

"Grey," he snapped.

"Well, hello, Baby Bird."

All the blood in Christian's body froze and he was certain his heart had skipped several beats at the familiar voice. "Hyde," he growled.

The moment the name was out of his mouth, there was a flurry of activity around him: Carrick was on his phone, contacting Taylor; Grace and Elliot had moved closer to Christian should it become necessary for them to restrain him; Mia had been brought into fresh sobs, presumably at the thought that her big brother was on the phone with the man that had once kidnapped her and now had her nephew. And he felt rather than saw Ana standing somewhere behind him, begging him for answers he didn't yet have.

"Oh, good, you recognized me," Hyde said lightly, only incensing Christian further. "That'll make things easier."

"Where's my son, you fucking bastard?" Christian demanded, fighting to keep himself from shouting; shouting would only be playing into Hyde's hands.

"He's here," Hyde informed him. "Asleep, actually. It's amazing, really, just how much he looks like you, Baby Bird. I'd forgotten what you looked like when we were in the foster home together, but your boy is reminding me."

Christian's breathing was becoming heavy. "If you lay one finger on him, I swear to god, Hyde—"

Hyde actually laughed. "Easy there, Baby Bird! You're not exactly in any position to be making demands, are you?"

"What do you want?" asked Christian through a clenched jaw.

"Nothing you can give me," Hyde told him dismissively. "It's your wife who has what I want. I'm sure she's told you by now about our little game over the last year."

 _She told me, fucker_ , Christian thought silently. _And when I see you, there will be retribution. I promise you that._

"She's a feisty one, Christian," Hyde went on. "But she plays very well..."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Hyde?" Christian snapped.

"Ask your wife," the other man said lazily. "And keep this in mind when you do: It was all consensual, Baby Bird. She was all too willing." Hyde remained silent for a few moments as his words sank into Christian's mind. As though in a dream, Christian felt himself turn around, finding his fearful-looking wife waiting expectantly. "But I didn't answer your question: Anastasia has something of mine—she knows what it is—and I want it back. I get that back and I'll consider sending you your son in one piece."

"She hasn't got anything of yours," Christian said automatically. "She didn't bring any baggage."

Hyde laughed again. "Trust me," he snickered, "she's got it. I should go. Sounds like your little Mini Me is starting to stir again. I'll call you in the morning and we'll have a little chat about when I get my... things back from your wife."

Before Christian could say a single word, Hyde hung up the phone, leaving Christian staring at his wife. Very faintly, he could hear the rest of his family asking him what Hyde had said, whether someone should contact the police detective in charge of the Jack Hyde search, whether someone should contact Taylor. Christian ignored all this activity around him, managing to cross the room calmly in order to pull his wife into his arms.

"What did he say?" she breathed into his chest.

Rather than respond, he tightened his arms around Ana. His mind was too busy working through the insinuations of what Hyde had told him. Only a few things made real sense considering his words and all of them made Christian's blood boil. If he was right about what he thought Hyde's words meant, Hyde would be ripped apart bit by bit at Christian's hands for daring to touch his wife. He wanted to know the truth; he wanted to know what it was that Hyde seemed to think Ana had that belonged to him. The problem with that at the moment was whether, after everything that had happened in the last few days, he could handle whatever the truth might be. There was still so much he didn't understand about what had gone on during the last year.

 _One thing at a time, Grey... Focus on what you can still control. Deal with the rest later._

Teddy was alive. Or so Hyde said. A lifetime in business had taught Christian that in the midst of negotiations, if one party's bargaining chips were in any way damaged or found to be nonexistent, all deals were off. Hyde wanted something from Ana. Christian and Ana wanted something from Hyde. It was business. It was a negotiation. He could do this with his eyes closed and he always got what he wanted at the end of the day.

With a very deep breath, Christian straightened up, releasing Ana from his embrace but held onto her hand. He was no longer Christian Grey, Father and Husband. He was Christian Grey, CEO, ruthless businessman who took no prisoners, and refused to take no for an answer.

"Where's Taylor?" he asked his father briskly.

"I'll get him," Elliot murmured, getting up from his spot beside Kate to leave the room. From the corner of his eye, Christian saw his big brother place a hand on his wife's arm and shoot her a small, tight smile, possibly as a silent message of _welcome home._

"Dad, could you get in touch with the detectives, tell them Hyde's made contact and will be doing so again in the morning." Carrick agreed immediately and left the room to make his phone calls. "Kate, I need you to check what the media knows. I don't want them crawling all over the lawn, but they could be useful."

"You got it," Kate responded, leaving the room behind her father-in-law without glancing at Ana.

Almost immediately, Christian felt genuinely calmer than he had five minutes ago. He was back in his element of passing out tasks and having them obeyed without question.

"Are you hungry?" he asked his wife, realizing her desperation to ask him about his phone conversation with Hyde. He darted his eyes briefly to Grace and Mia, both of whom were either waiting for their instructions or for Christian to start explaining.

Ana seemed to understand what he was asking; he didn't want to order his mother and sister to leave them alone—they deserved answers, too—but he had to have this conversation with Anastasia first. She nodded slightly and he felt a muscle in his cheek twitch, trying to form a smile.

"Mom, could you get Ana something to eat? She's not eaten since this morning."

Grace smiled understandingly and Christian knew he hadn't fooled his mother. "Of course, dear," she said quietly. "Mia will help me."

Judging by the look on Mia's face, arranging food for Ana was the very last thing on her mind, but after a joint glare from Christian and Grace, she followed her mother to the kitchen, rolling her eyes as she went.

Once they were alone, Christian tugged on Ana's hand. "Come," he whispered, leading her to the couch and sitting down beside her. Immediately, she snuggled up against him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I need you to tell me the truth," he spoke into her hair, holding her to him in the hopes that they could have this discussion if they weren't looking at each other. "Can you do that?"

Her body stiffened as she let out a shuddering breath into his chest. "Yes," she breathed.

Christian took a deep breath. "Hyde says you have something of his and that in exchange for whatever it is we will get Teddy back. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

Her breath stalled and she started trembling. Automatically, Christian ran a gentle hand up and down her spine as he waited for her response. "Yes," she finally whispered.

Relief washed over Christian. This would be simple then: Ana gives Hyde whatever it is he wants, Christian gets his son somewhere safe, then Christian beats the living shit out of Hyde. This could all be over in a matter of hours. "What is it?" Christian asked. He could already imagine holding his son in his arms, assuring him he was safe again, and that his parents would never leave him again. But with seven words, all that crashed into the ground:

"It's not something I can give back," Ana replied reluctantly.

Christian pulled away suddenly, finding his wife's fearful eyes filled with tears. "What? Why the fuck not?" he demanded.

Tears fell from her eyes, neither of them bothering to wipe them away. "Because I don't have it anymore," she told him in a whisper.

Confusion was not an emotion Christian felt often. Only since that first day that he met Anastasia Steele did he start feeling it on a regular basis. Most of the time, it had presented itself in anger, which was a much more familiar state to him. Anastasia knew this and he could see her preparing herself for the inevitable explosion from her husband. "Where is it?" he growled.

She closed her eyes tightly, more tears falling from her eyes. "Gone."

His brow furrowed, knowing he was missing something very important. Confusion and anger gave way to fear. "Ana?" he breathed. "What is it?"

She took a deep breath and finally opened her eyes again, meeting his gaze. "I was pregnant," she told him.

And just like that, he was transported five years ago to the night Ana had told him she was pregnant with Teddy. He remembered his reaction, the things he'd said to her, the way he'd left her. He recalled his overwhelming fear at the thought of becoming a father—at the time he couldn't imagine someone like him could ever raise something so pure and innocent as a baby. The first time he'd held Teddy, he had been terrified. His son had been so tiny, so soft, so fragile, and at that moment, he'd sworn to do whatever it took to keep that little boy safe and happy.

 _Failed on both counts, Grey._

He then remembered what it had been that had finally convinced him that he wanted to be a father and the chance to have a family. Seeing his wife curled up on the ground, clutching her belly, still holding the gun she'd used to shoot Jack Hyde had put everything into perspective for Christian. It was the thought of losing something so precious that had made him see what Ana had given him and as always, he wanted her any way he could get her. And he wanted their baby, too.

Forcing himself back to the present, Christian had to push those feeling aside. "What do you mean?" he asked her. "Was, as in past tense?"

She nodded miserably. "I couldn't keep it, Christian," she breathed. "I couldn't raise it in that environment."

 _What she's trying to tell you, Grey, is that she had an abortion._ Other keywords in the conversation with Hyde started making sense. "Was I the father?" he asked Ana, aware that his heart was racing at an unnatural pace. _No... No, please god, no..._ He didn't know how he would react to the news that she had been pregnant with their child and due to circumstances known as Jack Hyde, she couldn't risk going through with the pregnancy.

 _But would that be better or worse than finding out you weren't the father?_

Meeting Ana's eyes, he knew the answers to both questions. He simultaneously felt absolutely crushed and angry. The only outlet for his restless energy was to get away from his wife and pace back and forth. If he wasn't the father of her child, he could think of only one other answer. "Hyde?" he growled, fisting his own hands in his hair.

Ana nodded minutely, staring down at her fingers.

"Fuck!" Christian shouted. Just the thought of that fucker touching his wife was unbearable. The thought him touching her in _that way_... He needed to beat the shit out of something, preferably Jack Hyde.

" _And keep this in mind when you do: It was all consensual, Baby Bird. She was all too willing."_

"No..." he whispered, turning to look at Ana. She seemed to know exactly where this conversation was going, whether she wanted it to or not. "Did he rape you?"

She tore her eyes from his, but didn't answer.

"Ana," he said in a begging tone, going back to her and kneeling in front of her. "Please, just tell me the truth. Did Jack Hyde rape you?"

He waited for ages, he stopped breathing just in case he missed her answer, her denial—please god, let her deny it! But with one little shake of her head, Anastasia once again caused Christian's world to collapse. She was finally speaking now, but he didn't understand a word she'd said. It had all been for nothing: the constant searching for her, the countless sleepless nights, the desperation to have her back in his arms. All the while, she'd been in his arms. And apparently willingly. Christian had always believed he was the fucked up one in their relationship, that he was the one who needed to be abused and made to feel worthless.

What was it they called it when an abductee began to identify with their captor? That's what Ana had done, right? Hyde had made her leave, kept her from her friends and family for a year, controlled every aspect of her life, even got her pregnant... And in whatever moment of clarity she'd had, she'd realized what had happened to her and refused to let her baby suffer the way she had.

Stockholm syndrome. That's what it was called.

Despite this sudden understanding, Christian couldn't be in the same room with her anymore. He needed out before he did something irreparable, before he said something he'd regret for the rest of his life. Snatching his hands from Ana's, he quickly marched out of the room, breezed past Taylor, Carrick, and Elliot, ignoring their questions as to where he was going, and he was finally outside in the fresh air. In a blind daze, he got behind the wheel of one of his SUVs, started the engine, and sped off into the night.


	8. Chapter 8

Christian shut the door of the car and walked blindly up the front stairs to the house. He wasn't even entirely sure where he was, much less how he'd gotten there. All he knew was that he'd desperately needed to get away from his wife and family, and that he was more than prepared to kill Jack Hyde than ever before. Just imagining what that bastard might have done to Anastasia—

He hissed in pain, glancing down at his hands. He'd been clenching his fists so tightly that his fingernails had dug into his palms, causing crescent-shaped, bleeding wounds.

 _Good_ , he thought darkly. Physical pain he could deal with—he'd been dealing with it all his life—and it was so much easier than the emotional pain he'd endured for the last year. He could rationalize with the physical pain so much better; make himself believe he deserved it. And he did deserve it, didn't he? He hadn't kept his family safe; he'd let Jack fucking Hyde get into their lives and do this to him.

With a sound that was a mix of a strangled sob and growl, barely knowing what he was doing, Christian reached out and pressed the doorbell. It was a minute or two before the door finally opened and Christian blinked rapidly in shock at who he found standing in front of him.

Elena Lincoln looked just as surprised. "Christian," she whispered.

She looked the same as she had when Christian had last seen her—the night Ana had told him of her pregnancy—all blonde hair, blue eyes, even tan... maybe a little Botox... And for a moment, the sight of her comforted him; regardless of everything, she'd not changed at all. "Hello, Elena," he said quietly. "May I come in?"

Elena hesitated a moment, glancing over his shoulder. "Where's your car, Christian?" she asked.

"Left it somewhere," he murmured, hardly remembering what he'd done. "I didn't want to be followed, so I took a cab." She was very clearly reluctant about letting him into her home; he tried a different tactic. "Please, Elena, I just want to talk..."

Her eyes softened very slightly. "Of course," she murmured, stepping aside to let him enter. Elena led him to her kitchen where she silently went about making them drinks. Christian set at the table and for the first time wondered why on earth he would come here of all places.

 _You know exactly why_ , _Grey,_ his mind told him. _You needed to get away and this was the last place they'd look._

Well, that was true enough. Grace would probably yell for days if she found out where he was...

"I heard about your son," Elena said, placing a glass in front of Christian before sitting across from him. "Have there been any leads?"

"We have a suspect," Christian said shortly, "but not much more."

Elena nodded, but surprisingly didn't press Christian for more details. "Is there anything I can do?" she asked tentatively.

Christian shook his head. "It's a waiting game at this point," he said with a sigh.

They drank silently for several minutes and Christian found himself thinking once again about his wife. She'd told him what had happened between her and Hyde hadn't been rape, and that it had resulted in her becoming pregnant. And as angry as this made him to imagine, one part of his mind wondered about the truth of this. Surely it was a clear-cut line, either it was rape or it wasn't, and there was no middle ground, was there?

 _Come on, Grey, you're smarter than this!_ his mind scoffed. _Look at who you're sitting across from and try again._

He looked at Elena, who was looking distractedly from her glass of brandy to the clock on the wall across from them. When he'd been fifteen, he'd been convinced that what had gone on between them had been totally consensual. And it hadn't been until he'd met Ana that he'd realized this hadn't been the case at all. He may have willingly gone to Elena and let her do to him the things she did, but he'd also believed he'd deserved that abuse from her. Enjoyable as it might have been it was self-punishment—he put himself through that pain because he'd let her convince him he deserved it.

Ana was an adult, however, not an angry kid with something to prove to the world. Ana was always so sure of herself, or if not sure, she carried herself in that manner. She knew what she wanted out of life and she went after it. Normally she was so vocal when people—namely Christian—harmed her in any way, physically, emotionally, or mentally. She was never one to sit around and take abuse, whether she deserved it or not. So why the fuck had she taken it from Hyde?

A ringing doorbell interrupted his thoughts and for a moment, he thought perhaps all his precautions to not be found—he'd left his BlackBerry in the SUV—had been pointless. Elena sighed, though, and stood. "Excuse me a moment, Christian," she murmured.

"I'm sorry," he said hastily. "If you're expecting company, I can go..."

"No," she said firmly. "It's okay. Just... wait here."

Without waiting for his response, she headed out of the kitchen to answer her front door, leaving him with his thoughts.

 _There's more to this_ , he kept thinking. _She's not telling me something. But what?_

He thought through every interaction between himself and his wife since he'd found her in Omaha. She wasn't the same as she had been. She'd changed drastically. There could have been dozens of reasons for this—the fact that Christian had showed up unannounced; her relationship with Hyde; the pregnancy; the thought of going back to her old life, even though she had to know what she would face. She'd been quieter than he could ever remember her being. She wasn't forthcoming about anything she'd gone through. Again, dozens of different reasons: she didn't want Christian to know; she wanted to forget it all... Hyde had forced her to do all the things she'd done.

No, perhaps it hadn't been rape, but that didn't meant it was entirely consensual either. He'd thought it himself, hadn't he? Stockholm Syndrome. A very severe case of it. Hyde could have threatened her, threatened her family... Hell, the fucker could have drugged her to the point that she believed she was with her husband rather than her captor and abuser.

It was rational. It made sense. Ana hadn't gone to him willingly. And of course she'd be motivated to not bring a child into that.

"Fuck." Christian sighed, draining the last of his brandy and standing up. He'd ask Elena to let him use her phone to call Taylor or Elliot to pick up him down the road and he'd go back to his parents' home, take Anastasia aside, and ask her to explain. She'd tried before he'd left, but he'd blocked out every single word she'd said. This had to be the answer. And if it was, Jack Hyde's death would be much more painful than Christian had originally intended.

"Elena," he said urgently, meeting her in the hallway—she seemed to have come up from the basement. "I need your phone. I need to call for a ride."

Elena's eyes widened. "But you've only just gotten here, Christian," she protested. "Surely you can stay for another drink."

Christian shook his head. "No, I need to get back to my parents' house. I need to know what they've learned about Teddy."

"Christian, you're distraught," she insisted. "You said yourself you needed to talk, that's why you came here, isn't it? Come, have another drink."

She reached out to grasp his forearm, and he vaguely registered that her touch still made him uncomfortable, but he managed to pull his arm from her grip. "I know what I said," he told her with strained patience. "But I need to get back to my family. They need me there."

Elena rolled her eyes at him. "Honestly, Christian, I told you a hundred times Anastasia isn't any good for you. You'd think you'd leave well enough alone, but no; you run after her. And look what's happened."

Christian stared at her, gaping, his heart stopping. "Elena," he said slowly, backing away from her as his temper began to flare again, "I never said a word about Anastasia."

Her eyes widened and quickly began to backtrack.

"Nobody knows Ana is back," he told her, unable to believe what he was hearing, much less the conclusions his mind was drawing. "How did you know?"

He heard a sound of a creaking floorboard behind him and spun around, feeling yet another shock. "You," he hissed.

"Hello, Mr. Grey," responded the man, smirking. "I'm sorry to inform you, sir, that I won't be returning to your employ."

And before Christian could respond or do anything to defend himself, he was hit from behind, and his entire world went black.

* * *

It had been nearly two hours since Christian had stormed out of the house and not one person had heard from him. Ana had spent the first half hour or so staring in shock at the fireplace, unable to believe that Christian had already discovered her biggest shame in the world, the biggest mistake she'd ever made. She'd tried to tell him the truth, but she didn't think he'd heard a single word she'd said. He hated her now, and she deserved that hate. Why did he bother bringing her back to Seattle? Why did she even go to him in the first place? Eventually he would have moved on, forgotten about her—or if not forgotten, realized how much better off he was without her.

Her subconscious had left the building, leaving her on her own to fix this one.

When Taylor had failed in locating Christian through GPS—they'd found the SUV Christian had taken a few blocks away, as well as his cell phone—Ana had realized just how badly she'd messed up this time. Christian would never just abandon his family the way she had, especially with his son missing. But what he'd discovered about her had hurt him so deeply that there was no other option than for him to leave.

So while the search for both Christian and Teddy continued, Ana was brought up to speed about what had been discovered during the day while she'd slept. Grace had done a bit of explaining, Kate a little more. The latter surprised Ana, because, since she'd first laid eyes on her best friend earlier in the evening, Kate hadn't been able to maintain eye contact.

Ana had been in the kitchen, having wandered away from the rest of the family while the police updated them—there hadn't been anything to really report, so it seemed like a waste of time to listen in.

"Hi, Steele."

Ana spun around away from the window where she'd been staring unseeingly outside into the dark night. Kate was standing in the kitchen threshold, looking awkward and pregnant and sad. Ana was certain she'd caused two of these emotions in the other woman. "Hey, Kavanagh," she whispered, smiling a little. "You look good."

Kate rolled her eyes and entered the kitchen fully. "Liar," she scoffed. "I'm fat, I can't see my feet, and this damn kid seems to think I don't need to sleep anymore, so I haven't had a full night's rest in weeks."

"I know the feeling," Ana told her sympathetically.

And just like that, whatever light feelings in the room disappeared without a trace. "What the hell, Ana?" Kate whispered painfully. "How could you leave your family like that?"

Ana closed her eyes against the tears that were forming. "I want to tell you everything, Kate, I really do, I just..."

"Can't." Kate finished the sentence for her.

Ana nodded slightly and Kate sighed. "Just tell me this: Are you back for good or are you planning on running again?" Kate asked after a few moments of silence.

"Well, unless Christian decides otherwise, I want to be back for good. I've missed him and I've missed Teddy. And god, I missed you, too, Kate," Ana whispered, unable to hold back a sob.

To her surprise, Kate quickly crossed the room and enveloped her in a hug, and the pair of them cried a year's worth of tears together. Ana really had missed Kate. How often over the last year had she desperately wanted her best friend at her side to cheer her up, to tell her everything would be okay and that she wasn't alone. Ana had always thought herself to be a strong person on her own, but the last year had shown her a lot of her strength had come from those around her—Kate and Christian and Ray and Grace—and the moment those components were gone, she was reduced to a shell of the person she'd once been. More than anything, she wanted her old self back. She wanted to be that strong, independent girl she'd been before meeting Christian Grey. She wanted her husband and baby back. She wanted to forget Jack Hyde ever existed—

The moment was suddenly broken by a curse in another room. Ana and Kate broke apart and snapped back into reality, staring each other in surprise before quickly going off in search for the source of the commotion. The front hall was filled with the Grey family and Gail, all of them looking at Taylor, who was on his phone. He looked pale, angrier than Ana had ever seen him, and looked as though he was gripping his phone so tightly that it might actually break apart in his hand.

"Stay where you are," Taylor growled into the phone, breathing heavily. The person on the other end said something that caused him to roll his eyes. "Yes, I understand that," he snapped, his temper straining. "Get the boy outside. We will be there in ten minutes." With that, he hung up the phone and looked around, apparently only now realizing he had an audience.

Grace's hands fearfully covered her mouth. Mia was in one of her father's arms while Carrick's free hand clenched and unclenched anxiously. Elliot's lips were set in a grim line. Ana was having trouble breathing and only remained standing because Kate's arms supported her around the waist. Ana realized dimly that this seemed to be as much for her benefit as Kate's.

"Teddy?" Ana breathed, staring wide-eyed at Taylor.

Taylor nodded tensely, running a distracted hand over his buzzed haircut. "And Mr. Grey," he told them resignedly. "That was Elizabeth Morgan. She phoned earlier to inform us that Hyde had contacted her, requesting supplies. He contacted her again right after he spoke to Mr. Grey and told her to meet him. When she reached their meeting place, she says she saw Teddy."

"Where are they?" Kate asked sharply.

Taylor hesitated, looking apologetically at Grace and Ana. "Elena Lincoln's home."

"Christian went to _her?_ " Grace demanded, looking livid.

"Yes, ma'am," Taylor confirmed. "Mr. Grey was ambushed by Lincoln and an unknown man," his eyes darted meaningfully at Ana. _He means her submissive_ , her mind supplied. "It seems she's been working with Hyde this whole time."

"You're going to get Christian and Teddy?" asked Elliot determinedly. Taylor nodded as Sawyer joined them. "I'm going with."

"Elliot, no!" Kate said. "You can't!"

Elliot's shoulders slumped as he sighed. "I have to, baby, he's my brother."

"I'm going, too," Ana said quietly.

"No," said at least four people simultaneously.

Having expected this response, Ana stepped forward ignoring their protests. "This is my fault," she said painfully, looking only at Taylor. "I brought this on us and I have to fix it."

Taylor pinched the bridge of his nose to subdue his impatience. "Mrs. Grey, I'm sorry, but I have to put my foot down. You're not going," he told her, turning his back on her to address Sawyer and Elliot, and rattled off quick instructions about getting the car ready.

Ana stepped back silently. She'd known exactly what Taylor would say when she demanded to go along and she'd already formed a backup plan. This had all gone on long enough: her husband and son were in trouble, it was her fault, and if she wanted to get back to her former self, this was what needed to be done.

She watched as Taylor, Sawyer, and Elliot turned the leave the house, allowed Grace to lead her to the couch, and accepted the cup of tea Gail handed her. The others were discussing the turn of events, asking each other whether they thought Christian and Teddy were okay, and wondering why the hell Christian would go to Elena the Bitch Troll for any reason, while Ana knew the exact answer.

When times were tough, that's where Christian went. He'd done it after Ana told him she was pregnant with Teddy, whether their meeting had been a coincidence or not. She tried not to wonder whether her husband had gone to her after she'd left him, knowing now wasn't the time to worry about such things.

So Elena was working with Jack and apparently had been for a while. Ana had known the woman was evil, but she never would believed Elena would even give a bastard like Hyde the time of day, let alone go along with kidnapping a little boy and ambushing Christian, for whom she used to claim she cared about.

"Grace," Ana said suddenly, setting aside her teacup. "I'm going to go lie down for a bit. Will you let me know when you hear something?"

Kate looked at her suspiciously as Grace readily agreed. "Of course, dear," her mother-in-law told her gently. "Rest well."

Avoiding Kate's gaze, Ana slipped out of the room, glancing over her shoulder to check if anyone was watching her—they weren't—before slipping out the backdoor of the house, managing not to catch the sight of the police officers doing their rounds around the house. She wondered vaguely why Taylor hadn't involved the police before going to Elena's, but then decided it had been a strategic move: If Jack Hyde was at Elena's, Taylor wanted to avoid outside interference. The situation with Jack had become personal to many people, Taylor included, and the only way to ensure nothing like this happened again was to take care of it himself, once and for all.

Ana knew this might not be enough to make things right between Christian and herself, and she didn't know if anything she did would ever be enough, but she felt as though this was a step in the right direction. And if she ran into Jack, she could release a year's worth of anger, fear, and other ill feelings out on him.

"I'm coming, Christian and Teddy," she muttered under her breath. "Hang on, loves."


	9. Chapter 9

His eyelids felt heavy. He felt as though he'd been sleeping for days, but didn't feel nearly as rested as he thought he should. All he could recall were his recent dreams: Taking Teddy out on the boat for an entire day and seeing how ecstatic his son had been just to spend some time with his father. They hadn't had nearly enough time together over the last year; after his wife left him, Christian found the only way to cope was to fully immerse himself into his work. That day out on the boat, Christian swore to dedicate more time to his son—take him to an amusement park, the zoo, teach him to fish, all the things his parents had done with him that made him feel included and loved. Christian was all Teddy had left, after all, and vice versa. They were in this together and Christian refused to lose his son as well as his wife.

Christian opened his eyes, taking in his blurry surroundings and realizing he was unable to move. Everything came flooding back: Ana. Omaha. Jack _fucking_ Hyde. Teddy missing. Elena...

"Fuck!" he rasped, surprised at how much it hurt to speak. He was in a chair, his hands tied behind his back, and he felt as though he'd been repeatedly run over by his entire fleet of black SUVs.

"Well, well, well..." came an oily voice from somewhere behind Christian. "I can't say I had planned on this turn of events, but at the same time, it certainly makes things much easier for me."

Christian struggled against his restraints, fighting to turn around to face his apparent captor. "Hyde," he spat, coughing. He suspected a broken rib or two. "Where's my son?"

"Around," Hyde responded airily, coming to stop in front of Christian. "I think Mrs. Lincoln is tending to him at the moment. She's quite the disciplinarian, you know." Hyde laughed loudly at his joke. "But of course, you know all that, don't you, Baby Bird?"

"Fuck you," Christian said as loudly as his body would allow him. "The second I get out of here, Hyde, you're fucking dead, do you understand that? And if my son is hurt in any way, god help me, you will pay."

Hyde smirked. "Threaten all you want, Baby Bird." He turned away for a moment and again, Christian struggled against his bonds. He'd forgotten how much he hated this feeling of helplessness. He'd forgotten how angry it made him. Hyde returned with a chair and sat it six feet from Christian's. "I know I said we'd have this conversation tomorrow, but since you're here now, I don't see why we can't talk. I assume you've spoken to your wife."

Christian clenched his jaw tightly. "I have," he growled.

"Good," Hyde said. "We'll discuss terms in just a few minutes. Right now, I have to check on your pampered little prince. I'll leave you with something to think about: you've got the power here, Christian, all you have to do to get your brat back is give me what I want." Hyde stood, stretching his arms above his head. "Get comfortable, Baby Bird, you'll be here a while."

Christian's eyes followed Hyde's retreat up the stairs to the main house, now suddenly realizing exactly where he was: Elena's playroom. He glanced at the walls where the whips, canes, and various other sexual/torture implements hung. His eyelids closed of their own accord; he never thought he'd be back here. He never _wanted_ to be back here.

 _And now Teddy was here somewhere._

Desperate as he was to get to his son, wherever in the dungeon of torture he might be, he knew struggling was no real use. If Elena had tied him up, he wasn't getting away any time soon. He felt the pressure building up in his midsection, traveling up through his body until the sobs broke out. Crying had never been something he believed to be useful. It was a sign of weakness and was to be avoided at any and all costs. Right now, however, he didn't think he could hold it back even if he tried. He was so caught up in thoughts of his son and his wife that he didn't realize anybody had entered the room until he felt the gentle touch of somebody wiping at his tears.

He snapped his head up, feeling his sadness waning in exchange for overwhelming anger. "Don't fucking touch me," he growled at Elena, his voice cracking.

She pursed her lips, but withdrew her hand and the handkerchief she was using as she sat down across from him. "It's no use acting like this, Christian," she said sternly. "This is all going to happen regardless."

Christian glared at her. "Why are you doing this?" he asked quietly. "What the fuck does he have on you, Elena?"

A perfectly plucked eyebrow rose at him. "Why must he have something _'on me'_ , Christian?" she asked curtly. "Isn't it enough that I agreed that you needed to be taught a lesson? You and your wife have wronged so many people, my dear, and finally, you're getting what you deserve."

"And what's that?" he snapped.

Elena only smiled in response.

He held her glare for several moments until his curiosity won out over everything. "Is my son safe?" he begged in a whisper.

"Yes," she told him, her smile widening. "You know, if this whole negotiation thing goes sour with Jack, I certainly wouldn't mind keeping Teddy around a little longer..."

Christian's eyes widened at the implications. "Stay the fuck away from him," he demanded, his voice barely above a whisper, struggling fruitlessly at his bonds.

The door at the top of the stairs opened again and Christian tore his gaze from Elena's eyes. Hatred filled his veins as a young man walked casually down the stairs and stood beside Elena. His name was David Callahan and he'd only been on the security team a few months. Taylor had done the preliminary interviews, background checks, and training himself. Christian himself had only met the man once or twice himself, but Taylor spoke highly of him.

"I see you're a little confused, Christian," Elena said, her eyes darting to Callahan. Christian noticed immediately the other man's eyes never met Elena's.

"He's your submissive?" Christian guessed, already tiring of this game.

Elena smiled widely. "Indeed. He has been for six months now and I have to say, he's been amazing. I mean, the fact that he managed to get as close to you and your son alone is very impressive. It takes incredible skill to fool the likes of Jason Taylor. David wasn't a part of Jack's plan in the beginning, but he's become an integral player. It certainly wouldn't have been nearly so simple to get Teddy from your parents' home if he hadn't been with Ryan when you phoned."

Christian rolled his eyes, having already come to these conclusions himself. "What do you want from me, Elena?" he asked warily. They could have been discussing a business proposition had Christian not been tied to a chair in her playroom.

"It's not what I want, Christian," she told him briskly. "It's what Jack wants. And I think we both know what that is."

"Yeah, well, going to be a little difficult for him to have what he wants since Anastasia—"

His statement was cut off by a loud _thud_ above them. All three occupants of the basement stared up at the ceiling until Elena sent Callahan up to investigate.

"Why are you doing this, Elena?" Christian asked again.

"Because you ruined me, Christian," she responded matter-of-factly. "As soon as word got out that you'd washed your hands of our partnership, I had trouble finding anyone else to work with me. And I know what you're thinking: I'm one of the last people in the world who needs anyone to help support my business ventures. But then the invitations to benefits stopped coming and very slowly, I began losing respect in the community. Naturally, when Jack came to me with his plan to get revenge on you and your wife, I jumped at the chance."

"So you knew what he did to my wife, you helped him kidnap my son, and you're holding me hostage," Christian summarized.

"Yes," Elena said simply. "There's more to it than that, though, Christian. Between just you and me, I know it's not possible for Jack to get what he wants from Anastasia. Jack thinks he knows every little move that bitch made while she was away, but I know one thing he doesn't: Anastasia got an abortion. She got rid of the one bargaining chip the two of you might have had to get your son back."

Christian stared at her in horror. For so long, Anastasia had tried to convince him that Elena Lincoln was evil, and though he'd started to see her side of things, this pushed it over the edge. Elena had known all along what Ana had done, had known that the one thing Jack Hyde wanted that might release Teddy back to his parents was gone, and she was still playing along with the plan.

The pair of them stared at one another—Elena smirking about something while Christian glared, putting all his hatred for her and Hyde into the gaze—for what could have been an hour before Hyde returned to the room looking angry, dragging Callahan by his arm and throwing him to the floor in front of Christian.

"What?" Elena asked in a bored tone, not taking her eyes from Christian.

"Elizabeth is gone," Jack said through clenched teeth, glaring at the man on the floor. Christian glanced down at him, finding his face covered in blood as though someone had punched him in the nose. Christian inwardly smirked at the thought. "So is the brat."

This caught the attention of both Christian and Elena. Hope sparked in Christian—he assumed when Hyde said "the brat" he meant Teddy, and he suddenly recalled Taylor mentioning something about Elizabeth Morgan calling with some apparent intention to foil whatever Jack had planned.

"What do you mean, gone?" Elena demanded.

"Just what I said," Jack replied in a growl, glaring at Callahan. "And this fucker helped her!"

Christian ignored the bickering between Jack and Elena for a moment, ignored the whimpering heap that was Callahan at his feet, and felt relieved for the first time since all this shit started going down—wherever Teddy was, he was away from Hyde, away from Elena, and if Elizabeth Morgan was to be trusted, she would get him to Taylor as quickly as she could. Whatever happened next didn't matter; Teddy was outside the line of fire. That was what was most important to Christian and the rest was simply detail.

He was jolted from his thoughts as Elena screamed and he looked up just in time to see Hyde pull a gun from underneath his shirt, point it at Callahan, and pull the trigger. Christian closed his eyes as the bullet hit the other man, turning away from Hyde; he half-expected Hyde to pull the trigger again, this time on Christian. When he realized he was still alive, he tentatively opened his eyes, refusing to look down at his feet. Elena was screaming at Jack again, but this time, Christian didn't have to bother ignoring whatever she was yelling about: he felt as though someone had placed pillows over his ears and was pressing them into his head, muffling the sound around him. This disturbed him as he couldn't rely on his sense of hearing to anticipate whatever might happen next. His cheeks felt wet, probably due to Callahan's blood, but he forced himself to concentrate on what was happening around him.

Elena was on her feet, livid, fearful, and anxious. Christian could imagine her argument to Jack was somewhere along the lines of attracting unwanted attention from neighbors. A gunshot wasn't something the rich homeowners in this area were used to and certainly their first reactions would be to phone the police.

Jack was furious and crazed looking, and Christian knew his time was limited. The plan had gone to shit, Jack's control was lost, and Christian knew from experience that when the one in control suddenly found himself without that control, anything could happen.

The next thing he knew, Jack had hit him in the face with the butt of the gun and Christian heard his cheekbone crack. The pain was unbelievable, and he bit his tongue to keep from yelling out, his mouth filling with the coppery taste of his own blood. As an added insult to his captor, Christian turned to Jack's smug, smirking face and managed to spat blood at him.

"You fucking prick!" Jack yelled, his voice still muffled to Christian's post-gunshot ears. Christian found himself unsurprised to now be staring down the barrel of Jack's gun.

As a teenager, before he'd become Elena's submissive, he'd believed he would end up dying a violent death. His violent tendencies, over drinking, and don't-give-a-shit attitude would have seen to that. After Elena, he thought maybe there might be some sort of incident involving a business merger gone wrong, or perhaps he might decide his life wasn't quite worth it after all, and he'd end up falling to his death from the patio of his Escala penthouse. In the time since meeting Anastasia Steele, however, for the first time in his life, he wanted to live to a ripe old age and spend every moment of that life with her, making her happy, loving her with every fiber of his being. That feeling had only increased tenfold since Teddy's birth. Teddy was his reason for being, and Christian wanted nothing more than to see his son grow up, become successful, fall in love, get married, and have children of his own. He didn't want to die in Elena Lincoln's basement playroom at the hands of Jack fucking Hyde.

"You said you weren't going to hurt him," Elena exclaimed, looking surprisingly concerned at Christian's injury.

"That was before," Jack threw back at her. "We don't have long! Before we know it, his entire fucking security infantry is going to be here," he waved the gun in Christian's direction again, "and we're going to prison."

Elena looked between Christian and Jack, as though debating on who she should side with. A few hours ago, Christian was certain he would have preferred her to be on his side, to attempt to save him from Jack Hyde; now, however, he might actually prefer to die than be forced to be in her debt for the rest of his life. In that moment, he was prepared for what might happen next, even if that meant he would never see his wife and son again.

 _Anastasia is home now,_ he thought to himself. _She'll take care of Teddy. And even if she can't, he'll grow up with my parents, who are by far the best parents in the world. He'll be okay, Grey._

Resigned to his fate, Christian nearly missed the action in front of him. Jack had turned away for a moment, and in that moment, Elena moved forward, her hands reaching for the gun hanging from his hand. Startled at the move, Jack's head whipped around, his hand rising, and in almost a dream-like state, Christian watched Jack's finger pull the trigger, Elena's surprised, almost offended expression as the bullet hit her in the chest, then she slumped to the ground. Her eyes still wide open, staring directly into Christian's.

He looked up to find Hyde looking at Elena as well as though he was confused with the turn of events. After a moment, Hyde moved his gaze to Christian, his eyes slightly glazed over as he panted heavily. "Well, that's unfortunate," Hyde said to himself. "Doesn't matter, I suppose, interfering, controlling bitch that she was."

Christian thought quickly, knowing that whatever he said next would affect Jack's actions. "If it's money you want," Christian said through his broken jaw, "you can have it. Whatever you want."

"We've already had this discussion, Baby Bird," Jack replied in a tone of strained patience. "I don't want your fucking money."

"You're not getting Anastasia," Christian said as calmly as possible. "It's not going to happen, Jack, so let's restart the negotiations."

Jack sneered at him, stepping over Elena's body. "Haven't you figured out by now that you're not in control, Grey?" he growled, bending a little to bring his face level to Christian's. "I'm in control. Not you!"

"Right," Christian said in a soothing tone. "You're in control, Jack, of course."

The attempt to calm Jack hadn't worked. The other man lifted his leg and planted his foot in Christian's midsection, knocking the wind out of him and causing the chair he was in to tip over. "You stole my life," Jack sneered, placing another kick to Christian's ribs. "If you hadn't come along, I'd be the billionaire CEO. I'd be the one with your bitch wife on my arm." Between each sentence, Christian felt another blow to his body and decided he would prefer being shot rather than beaten to death by this bastard.

 _If I'm going to die, might as well piss Hyde off once more beforehand..._

"Your baby is dead," Christian rasped through his injuries. "Ana couldn't stomach the thought of bringing it into the world and she got rid of it."

Jack paused mid-kick, looking sufficiently distracted for a moment. "What?" he breathed.

"You heard me," Christian responded, glaring.

"You're a fucking liar," Jack said quietly. "That bitch wanted it every time, Baby Bird. Begged me for it, begged me for _more_. She even took the lead a few times." Christian's breathing was coming in ever-quickening pants at the renewed thought of Jack Fucking Hyde touching his wife in the way only Christian should be allowed. Anastasia was his in every way, she had been since she fell into his office that day of the interview. Whatever he'd learned that night about what had happened between his wife and Hyde, she was Christian's, and he sure as fuck wasn't going to let this prick talk about his wife like this.

Problem was, it seemed Elena _had_ been the one to tie Christian to the chair, and Elena knots were not easily undone. Jack kicked Christian in the head and the world began to fade. Just before his eyes closed of their own accord, Christian caught movement behind Jack; he saw his wife standing there, a cane in her hand, her intention clear. Ana's eyes darted at him briefly and he somehow managed to twitch his lips in some semblance of a smirk. His eyes began to slowly close either in relief or resignation of the situation, but he heard Ana's muffled voice say something, a _thud_ , then Jack's grunt of pain.


	10. Chapter 10

Anastasia Grey sat alone in a hospital waiting room, head in her hands. She didn't know how long she'd been here, didn't even really know how she'd gotten here. The only truly clear things in her head was the knowledge that this had been one the longest nights of her entire life and the nearly overwhelming feeling of liberation from the nightmare that had been the last year.

All she wanted to do was sleep. Christian and Teddy were as safe as they could be at the moment. Jack Hyde had suffered a massive concussion and several broken bones, and was currently under very heavy guard somewhere here in the hospital. Elena Lincoln was dead. Ana had spoken with several police officers in the last few hours, recounting her version of events. Taylor and Sawyer had been on either side of her at all times like muscled, gun-toting bookends, and when Ana began to show signs of becoming too upset, one of them insisted to the officers the interviews were over while the other gently led her to somewhere more private, handed her a handkerchief and sat with her until she could compose herself.

As far as she could recall, the "official" story was mostly based on truth: Jack Hyde had kidnapped Teddy Grey; Christian Grey had gone to visit Elena Lincoln, a former business associate and family friend, and had been ambushed by Hyde, Lincoln, and a third accomplice. And this was where any semblance of truth left the room. Taylor had come up with the story of Ana accompanying himself, Sawyer, and Elliot Grey in searching for Christian. Upon discovering he was being held hostage at Elena's residence, Taylor had demanded Ana remain in the car with Elliot. Elizabeth Morgan had rushed out of the house, carrying Teddy Grey to safety—she'd handed Teddy off to Elliot and disappeared into the night—which apparently was also true, as Elizabeth still hadn't been located. The police had been told that it had been Taylor who had beaten Jack Hyde with the cane. Whenever Taylor recounted this story to the police or anybody else that wasn't family in Ana's presence, he glared pointedly at her, urging her to keep quiet and play along. It had taken her several hours to understand the reasoning behind this behavior: even after everything she'd done, even after Taylor's anger and resentment towards her for hurting and abandoning Christian and Teddy, he was still determined to protect her.

The actual story was still blurry in her mind. If she closed her eyes and took a deep enough breath to calm down, she could see herself walking around Elena Lincoln's property, careful to stay on the edges where she had the cover of trees to hide her. She could recall the sight of Elizabeth Morgan rushing out of the house towards Taylor's SUV as it pulled into the driveway, carrying Teddy. She remembered the urge to sprint out from behind the trees to take her son from Elizabeth and get him to safety herself.

 _It had taken every ounce of restraint she had ever possessed, but she reminded herself that soon she would be back with both her husband and son, and in order to do that, she had to find Christian. Even though she was certain Taylor and Sawyer would be able to handle it themselves, she knew deep down this was her fight, she had to end it, and she would never be truly free of Jack Hyde until she had this final showdown._

 _While Christian's security team occupied themselves checking Teddy over for injuries and convincing him he needed to release Taylor and get into Elliot's arms, Ana rushed around the side of the house, managing to luck out when she discovered a basement window. She dropped down to look inside just in time to see Jack Hyde shoot Elena Lincoln, right in front of Christian, who seemed to be tied to a chair. Thanks to the gunshot, Ana's horrified scream was masked, and she took a few moments to find enough nerve to push herself off the ground again in order to seek an entrance to the basement. Realizing Jack had a gun, Ana inwardly admitted that perhaps this was too much for her, and maybe she should shout out for Taylor and Sawyer for assistance._

 _She watched the two men exchange words, and her anger began to boil as she saw her husband's face was covered in blood. She forgot all about Taylor and Sawyer as she watched Jack Hyde plant his foot into her husband's midsection and kick as hard as he could manage._

Fuck this, _she thought._ Jack's mine.

 _With that in her mind, she shoved herself off the grass and walked quickly around the house until she found a cellar door. It took one test pull to realize it had been left unlocked—easy access in and out, she knew, for Jack and Elena and whoever else was involved in this. She moved carefully down the steps, trying desperately not to make a single noise, especially since Jack was holding a gun and continued to beat the shit out of Christian. Any wrong move on her part and Christian would be dead within seconds. She found herself in a tiny room about the size of her old closet in the apartment she'd once shared with Kate, facing another door, one she was certain led into the main room of the basement where Jack and Christian were._

 _The door opened silently and she faintly realized the décor of the room was similar to Christian's playroom at Escala, right down to the whips hanging on the walls, right beside a variety of canes. And it was in this direction she moved when Jack knocked Christian and his chair to the floor, continuing to kick and punch and hit the other man with his gun._

 _She listened with one ear as she selected a cane, subconsciously planning what she wanted to say to Jack, what she wanted to_ do _to Jack when she got her chance._

 _"That bitch wanted it every time, Baby Bird. Begged me for it, begged me for_ more _. She even took the lead a few times."_

 _Everything Jack was saying was a lie, but of course as Christian believed his wife had spent the last year in the throes of passion with Jack Hyde, he hadn't even given her a chance to explain. But really, what would she have been able to say when they were in the middle of this miserable situation they'd found themselves in? Their son had been missing, Christian was borderline panicking, his wife had been missing for a year, and he'd been imagining the worst possible scenarios. There would be time for explanation, once Jack was out of the picture. She and Christian could work on getting back their life together with their son._

 _She selected a cane mostly at random, barely seeing what she was doing, her eyes locked on Jack as he continued to kick Christian. With every kick, Ana felt herself losing more and more of her control, and she was planning exactly where every one of her own blows on Jack's body would fall. Still careful not to draw attention to herself, Ana moved to stand directly behind the man who had made her family's life a living hell over the last year. As she raised the cane, her eyes darted down to her husband, whose own eyes widened slightly at the sight of her—of course this didn't draw any attention from Jack; the fucker probably thought it was the pain causing that reaction in Christian. And just before the first blow hit Jack, Ana swore she saw her husband's face, still contorted in pain, smirk at her.  
_

" _Evening, Jack," Ana had said, her voice managing not to waver in the slightest, despite the utter terror she felt at the situation. Jack turned his head slightly in surprise. "I swear to god, if you ever come near my family again, I will fucking kill you." The first cane strike came down on the hand in which Jack held his gun, which fell to the floor; Ana quickly kicked it across the room. "In fact, I might just save myself the trouble and kill you now." The next strike was at his head as he took an enraged step towards her, reaching for the cane._

" _Bitch!" he cried, grasping his head. He was dizzy now, stumbling around the room._

 _Ana continued to hit him, losing count on the number of times she struck him. All she could think about were all the times he'd slipped into her bed, whispering threats to her about what would happen to her family if she stepped a toe out of line. Or the way she felt when he left—used, abused, and a shell of the woman she had once been. She thought of how Christian must have felt when she'd left him so suddenly, only telling him that she couldn't handle his domineering ways anymore, that she didn't love him, that she didn't want Teddy. It was all because of Jack's threats about what would he would do to them otherwise._

 _She didn't stop beating him until she felt a pair of arms wrapping around her while another forcefully took away the cane. After blinking a few times, she realized Jack was on the floor, bleeding and unconscious, that Sawyer had been the one to wrap her in his arms, Taylor the one to take away the cane. Her eyes darted to Christian—he was still breathing, however erratically it may have been. Ana doubled over, sobbing. Sawyer turned her away from Jack, Christian, Elena, and the yet unknown man, and held her as she cried._

Even recalling it made her sick to her stomach. What kind of person took such pleasure at harming another? A person like Jack, of course, and the thought that she was no better than her that bastard only made her feel, if possible, worse. It wasn't until her mother-in-law entered the room that she remembered why she'd done what she had, no matter how wrong it had been. The waiting room door opened, and Kate entered, followed immediately by Grace. Ana gasped when she saw Teddy in the older woman's arms. It was the first time in a year that she'd laid eyes on her son close-up.

The little boy had his face buried in his grandmother's shoulder, his arms locked so tightly around her neck that it might actually take the Jaws of Life to pry him away from her. Ana certainly couldn't blame him for this reaction; none of them knew what Jack had put him through, as he wasn't quite ready to talk about it. He wasn't hurt—there were a few bruises and minor cuts, but he seemed more frightened than anything. Ana recalled the feelings she had when she'd seen her son just a few hours ago, when he'd been in the arms of Elizabeth Morgan—more than anything, she wanted to cross that waiting room, take her son from Grace, and just hold him. She wanted to make up for all the lost moments over the last year, even though, rationally, she knew that would never be possible.

It didn't really matter; she had been frozen into place, unable to do anything but stare at her son, silently begging him for forgiveness.

"Teddy, love?" Grace murmured softly, rubbing the little boy's back gently. "Someone wants to see you..."

Teddy's head had shot up and he began looking around the room. "Daddy?" he exclaimed excitedly, his eyes shining hopefully.

Ana's heart clenched—of course the first person Teddy would ask for after his ordeal was the one person who'd been a constant in his life over the last year, not the one who had abandoned him. She swallowed her disappointment when Teddy's shoulders had dropped after Grace replied, "No, sweetie, not Daddy. Look." Grace turned slightly, allowing Teddy, who turned his head to follow his grandmother's order, to better see Ana.

Regardless of her current emotional turmoil, Ana forced a smile onto her face when she met her son's blue eyes that were so much like hers. She watched Teddy cock his head to the side and narrow his eyes slightly in a perfect Christian-like expression. He was studying her as though trying to recall if he'd ever seen her before. His next words nearly made Ana break into sobs, which would probably just traumatize the boy further than he already was.

"You look like my mommy," he said softly, still resting his head on Grace's shoulder.

Ana, Kate, and Grace all gasped slightly at Teddy's sort-of recognition of his mother. Kate recovered from her surprise first, sending Ana a pointed look, silently telling her the ball was in her court so to speak. Ana gave her a brief nod of acknowledgement and took a few steps closer to Grace and Teddy, still unsure whether her unstead0000y legs would support her at all. "Why do you say that, Teddy?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Cause I have a picture of her in my bedroom," he told her matter-of-factly. "And my daddy has a lot of pictures of her, too."

"Oh," Ana breathed, tears filling her eyes. Guilt was building up and she was beginning to feel disgusted with herself for ever even considering leaving this beautiful, sweet little boy. She'd never get back that time she'd been away from him and all she could do was silently promise to be there for him from here on out, no matter what. Still watching her warily, Teddy tensed a little as Ana closed a bit more of the distance between her and Grace, and tentatively reached out a hand to rest it on his back. It took a few moments, but slowly, Teddy started to relax and Ana felt more comfortable rubbing gentle circles on his back. "Well, there is a reason I look like your mommy..." She trailed off, wondering how on earth she could go about trying to explain her absence from his life over the last year.

"Is it because you are my mommy?" Teddy asked in a small, hopeful voice.

Kate had turned away, wiping away tears as she did so. Ana wondered how much of her reaction was due to the pregnancy hormones, even though she herself was fighting the urge to curl up in a chair and cry for the rest of the week. "Yes," Ana mouthed to Teddy. "Yes, baby, I'm your mommy."

The bright smile on Teddy's face was so reminiscent of Christian that it nearly buckled Ana's knees. But to her surprise, Teddy actually released his grip on Grace, holding out his arms to Ana, who didn't hesitate in the slightest before taking her son from her mother-in-law. She held him tightly, burying her nose in his hair and inhaling the scent of her baby. Somehow she managed to make it to a chair in the waiting room and sat down, crying into Teddy's hair. Kate and Grace excused themselves, and Ana found herself a little surprised at how content Teddy seemed in the arms of an almost stranger. They sat silently for awhile, neither of them speaking, and it took Ana nearly half an hour to realize Teddy had actually fallen asleep in her arms.

Grace reentered the waiting room, smiling softly at the sight before her. "The doctors have finished examining Christian," she whispered to Ana, sitting beside her and Teddy. "You can go in to see him if you like."

"How is he?" Ana asked concernedly, unconsciously increasing her grip on Teddy.

"He'll be fine," Grace assured her soothingly. "He had some internal bleeding we were worried about, but it's stopped. He's still unconscious and we suspect he'll wake up in the next twelve hours or so. We'll want him to remain here for a few days for observation, in case any of his injuries become infected. Christian is strong, though, he'll get through this."

Ana nodded and once again rested her cheek on her son's unruly copper-haired head, and she and Grace fell into silence for several minutes. Ana was hesitant about going to see her husband. Much as she wanted to, _needed_ to, she knew that the moment she did, she'd have to relinquish Teddy to somebody else, and she didn't want that; she didn't want to let go of him ever again.

 _He won't disappear if you leave him with his grandparents_ , said her subconscious rather scathingly. Apparently she was still upset with Ana for causing this whole mess to begin with, and Ana couldn't even find it in herself to shoot back the biting response of _That's what Christian thought..._ knowing it was unfair to any number of people.

"Ana?"

Ana lifted her head, tearing her eyes from her sleeping son's face to meet Grace's hesitant yet determined gaze. "Yes?"

"I don't mean to overstep my bounds," the older woman began. Her tone suggested that even though she might not mean to, she would anyway, regardless of what Ana said to dissuade her. "But I have to ask about your intentions now you've come back. This last year has been hell for all of us. We've watched Christian gradually slip back into the man he was before he met you—the angry, closed-off shell of a man. It's been so painful because after he met you, everything about him changed for the better. I was so very grateful to you for bringing my son out of himself, and when you left, you took him with you."

Ana closed her eyes, willing her tears to hold off for now.

"I'm very protective of my children, Anastasia," Grace told her mildly. "And equally so with my grandchild. And I promise you, if you hurt either of them again, you will answer to me. Is that understood?"

Ana looked up at Grace in surprise at her words and for a moment wondered how she would react if she were in Grace's position, watching some woman continually hurt Teddy. She had to admire Grace's restraint—she didn't think she'd be able to not physically harm that other woman. Ana nodded. "I understand," she said quietly. "And I have no intention of leaving again unless Christian asks me to."

Grace allowed herself a small smile and reached over to pat Ana's leg affectionately. "Good," she said simply. "And for the record, I don't see Christian ever asking you to leave."

"I hope not," Ana murmured mostly to herself.

Grace smiled understandingly and smoothed down some of Teddy's hair. "Well, we should get Teddy home and put to bed, don't you think? And you should go see your husband."

Ana sighed, knowing Grace was right, but not wanting to get go of her son yet.

"He'll be fine," Grace assured her softly. "I won't let him out of my sight, I promise."

Ana nodded reluctantly, kissed Teddy's head, and finally handed him over to her mother-in-law. Both women stood, Teddy still fast asleep in his grandmother's arms—Ana wouldn't be surprised if he slept for the next few days.

"Go see Christian," Grace urged quietly. "We'll bring Teddy back later in the afternoon once he's gotten some sleep."

"Thanks, Grace," Ana whispered, her heart breaking slightly as she watched her son leave the room. Realizing she was on her own again, she steeled her nerves and left the waiting room, her eyes darting to where Taylor and Sawyer were standing guard against the wall. She walked purposefully towards Christian's hospital room, the security team following at a respectful distance. They arrived outside Christian's room where Ana paused, knowing she would find her husband connected to all sorts of wires and oxygen tubes and heart monitors. She knew he would be swollen and bruised and in pain, regardless of the morphine the nurses were routinely giving him.

"Mrs. Grey?" Taylor asked softly, standing at her shoulder. "Would you like us to go in with you?"

Ana shook her head. "No," she whispered. "I'm okay."

The two men took their posts outside the room and Ana entered, her eyes immediately finding Christian's bed in the middle of the room. He was exactly as she imagined he would be and it nearly killed her to look at him like this. A nurse looked up from where she was writing his vital signs on her clipboard and gave her a tight smile before leaving the room.

Ana gingerly sat in a chair beside Christian's bed and took his hand in hers, trying not to recoil at how cold it felt. She had to keep reminding herself that he would be all right, Grace was convinced of it, and she wouldn't give Ana false hope, certainly not about this.

"Hi, baby," she said quietly, hoping Christian could hear her. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Never again, Christian. So if you'll be so kind as to wake up so we can get back to our lives, I would greatly appreciate it."

It could have been her imagination, but Ana could have sworn when she finished speaking, Christian's hand squeezed her own, and for the second time in less than an hour, she smiled.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Just to be clear, this is the exact story I posted a few years back. I'm not currently writing it; it's complete, just not all posted. There is a reason I have put up several warnings regarding the darkness in the recently posted chapters. Just like last time, I will not be changing or removing anything in this story. I've had several inquiries about my state of mind while writing this. Admittedly I was in a dark spot back then and it bled into my writing. Also like last time, I'll apologize to anyone who is offended by the subject matter. If you want to report my story for content, you're free to do so. Everything that happened to Ana is only description; she doesn't go into details and there are no explicit flashbacks. Honestly, I've read much more graphic stories on this site and some of them tend to be the most popular. I've asked that I not get flamed for this story. I'm well aware that I can't avoid negative reactions; it's all part of the deal. I only ask that we be grown ups about it and not resort to name calling and threats. Thanks for reading!

* * *

Two days after the incident at Elena Lincoln's home, Christian Grey lay in his hospital bed impatient to get out of here, home, and back to his normal life. Much as he tried to convince the hospital staff that he felt fine, they continued to insist that he needed to remain there a little longer. It certainly didn't help that his mother was among that hospital staff who held him prisoner here. The only upsides thus far have been that people mostly left him to his own devices—and when he decided he didn't want to deal with those who visited, asking ridiculous questions about how he felt, he could use the pain medication excuse and announce he was tired—and the fact that he'd been spending almost all his time with Teddy during the day. Grace had brought him to see Christian after he managed to regain consciousness; apparently he'd thrown tantrums to see his father until his grandparents caved in. Christian still smirked every time he thought about his mother's harassed face when she'd brought Teddy into the hospital room.

 _Grey men always get what they want..._

He'd been brought up to speed on everything that had happened a few nights ago and had spoken with the police to give them his account of events. All his responses had been relatively mechanical, fed to him earlier on by Taylor—he'd fully supported Taylor's intuition to keep Ana's role in Jack Hyde's injuries quiet. And when everybody had finally, actually, left him alone for the night, when he'd slipped into a drug-induced sleep, he found himself experiencing new nightmares. These ones involved seeing Elena Lincoln and David Callahan being shot directly in front of him, and seeing their dying eyes staring up at him in what might have been pleading expressions. What they were pleading for escaped Christian, but he still couldn't get the images out of his head.

There was another image he couldn't seem to shake either. This one was the sight of his wife standing behind Jack Hyde raising one of Elena's canes like a baseball bat and the slightly crazed look in her eyes as she prepared to strike him. Ana hadn't been in to see him except for once to his recollection. That meeting had been awkward, neither of them quite knowing what to say to the other once they'd gotten past the initial questions.

 _His heavy eyes had opened slowly, his entire body aching. There was a beeping noise somewhere near his head that he eventually recognized as medical equipment. He then realized he was lying in a hospital bed and felt as though he had had the shit beaten out of him. The recollection that this was exactly what had happened came along shortly thereafter._

 _It had taken much of his strength to turn his head to the left and he sucked in a deep, painful breath at the sight of Anastasia sleeping in a chair beside him, her arm stretched out, her hand resting beneath his. He took several moments to confirm that this was reality, that she really was with him now before he forced his fingers to squeeze hers. She sighed in her sleep, murmuring something unintelligible and shifted slightly. He squeezed again and her eyes blinked open, finding his immediately._

" _Christian," she'd breathed, leaning forward and gripping his hand. "You're awake."_

 _He'd tried to smile, but still didn't know whether he'd managed it or not. "Seem to be," he croaked. "Where'm I?"_

" _Hospital," she whispered, glancing at her wristwatch. "You've been here about fifteen hours now."_

" _Oh." He rested his head back on the pillow, taking comfort in the feel of her skin on his. Then, suddenly, any semblance of rest slipped from his mind as he remembered the most important thing from the night before. "Teddy!" He tried to sit up, ignoring the sharp pains in his chest as he fought to get out of his bed, his eyes scanning the room fretfully for his son._

" _Calm down," Ana said quickly, standing to press his shoulders back onto the bed. "Christian, it's okay! He's safe."_

 _His entire body had relaxed immediately. "Thank god," he whispered. "Where is he?"_

" _With your parents," she said soothingly. "I've seen him, Christian, he's fine."_

 _Christian swallowed heavily, feeling exhausted from what little bit of movement he'd dared to make. Teddy was safe. He was unharmed. Christian would be seeing him soon. He turned to look at his wife again. Even though she'd been asleep when he'd woken, she looked like she hadn't slept in months and that at any moment, everything she'd been through would come flooding back and she'd crack. "Are you hurt?" he asked concernedly._ Please god, no _, he silently begged._

 _She managed a small smile. "No," she told him. "I'm fine. Exhausted as hell, but fine."_

 _He nodded, closing his eyes. "Good."_

 _They sat in silence, holding hands for several minutes until the nurse entered the room, insisting on examining Christian. When Ana stood to move away from the bed to make room, she pulled her hand back and Christian immediately felt colder without her. She stood against the wall hugging herself, her eyes never leaving him; his never leaving hers as he answered the questions the nurse threw at him about how he felt. Finally, she'd left the Greys alone and Ana had reclaimed her seat beside the bed, immediately taking her husband's hand again. Still, neither of them spoke. Christian didn't think he really had the energy for the conversation he'd been wanting to have with her, and by the look on her face, neither did she. He knew there would be enough time for all that later on, when they'd both had time to accept the things that had happened. The very last thing he wanted to do was drive her away again by demanding answers and explanations, and he knew that's exactly what he would be doing by having that discussion right now._

Since then, he'd seen his parents, his siblings, his security team, Ros, Gail, even Doctor Flynn, but Ana hadn't yet made another appearance. He tried not to worry about this, tried not to think of the possibility that she might have run again; his family assured him this was not the case at all. Ana's parents had been contacted—Christian assumed this had been Kate's doing—and flown to Seattle. Christian could only imagine Carla's and Ray's reactions to their daughter's reappearance and was really very pleased to be in the hospital with the ready-made excuse to avoid that particular meeting. Still, he'd spent a year without his wife, three days in Omaha, Nebraska trying to get her back, a night and most of a day alone together then had to deal with everything else, and the only thing he wanted was to have her at his side again.

Christian winced at the pain at his side, but sucked in a sharp breath rather than the standard curse he'd been emitting, glancing down at his right side. Teddy was pressed against him in his bed, curled up with his head resting on his father's shoulder, one thumb in his mouth. Grace had tried taking the boy home after visiting Christian and Teddy had thrown the biggest tantrum Christian had ever seen, and Christian couldn't help feeling exactly the same. Grace had spoken with the hospital staff who had agreed to bend the rules this once to allow Teddy to remain with his father.

There had only been one incident since Grace had left. In the middle of the night, when one of the nurses had come to check on Christian, she'd helped him to the bathroom. During the short time he was away from his son, Teddy had apparently had a nightmare that had him crying and yelling. Christian had nearly reinjured himself in his haste back to his son. It had taken nearly an hour to calm Teddy after his nightmare, which he refused to discuss with his father. Since then, anytime Christian needed to get out of bed for any reason, he made certain his son was awake first. Every time he thought about it, though, he couldn't help but wonder what it would take to get a few minutes alone inside Jack Hyde's hospital room. He was certain he'd be able to bribe his guards, and if he couldn't, perhaps he could talk Sawyer and Taylor into doing something to distract said guards—both men had become very fond of Teddy over the years, more so over the last one, and Christian had no doubt in his mind that they would not hesitate in agreeing to do whatever it took to make certain Jack Hyde got the justice he deserved.

Unrealistic as he knew it was, the fantasies he had of beating Jack Hyde to death in his hospital bed kept Christian darkly amused during his stay at the hospital. Besides, Carrick had assured him there would be no way Hyde would ever see life outside prison walls again, and Christian trusted his father implicitly. Christian still wondered how it was possible Hyde managed to find freedom a year and a half ago given his history. He would be looking into that as soon as possible.

Christian's eyes were growing heavy again and he thought his son might have the right idea with taking a nap. Just as he was starting to drift off, he got the feeling of being watched. Cracking an eyelid and preparing to tell off whichever nurse or visitor that was inconsiderate enough to keep him awake, he felt his heart skip a few beats. Ana was standing across the room, her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes locked on her husband and son. She seemed uncertain whether she should be in the room at all and looked as though at any moment, she might turn tail and run. Christian couldn't let that happen.

He slowly opened his eyes and immediately caught her gaze; she sucked in a deep breath in surprise at finding he was awake. "Hi," he said hoarsely.

"Hi," she whispered back.

The couple watched one another for minutes, neither of them knowing what to say. Christian hated this. One of the many things that had drawn him to Anastasia Steele in the first place had been how effortless conversations were between them. This stilted awkwardness between them was starting to become irritating and Christian almost wished he could avoid his wife until he figured out how to fix this.

"Are you going to stand there all day or sit down?" he asked, gesturing to a chair beside the bed.

He nearly smiled at her obvious fight with herself to not roll her eyes. "How are you feeling?" she asked quietly, her eyes resting on Teddy rather than Christian.

"Been better," he told her, also looking down at their son. "You?"

"Same."

Christian nodded. His eyes darted over at his wife. She was biting her lip nervously, as though she wanted to say something to him but didn't know what that something should be. The silence was becoming painful; something needed to change. Soon. "Where've you been?" he finally asked. "You haven't visited..."

"I have," she responded. "You've been asleep every time."

 _Right..._ Christian thought to himself, inwardly rolling his eyes. "I heard Ray and Carla are in town." This time, Ana did roll her eyes as she snorted in confirmation. "How'd that go?"

"They both gave me an earful," she said wearily. "About everything. I think they would have grounded me if they thought they could get away with it..."

Christian snorted a laugh. "Not a bad idea, actually," he teased. Ana rewarded him with a genuine smile. For a moment, he forgot about everything but the feeling of finally having his wife at his side again. He reached out a hand to her and she took it, however reluctantly it may have been on her part. "I missed that smile," he told her softly.

Gradually, the smile faded from her face and he was forced back to the reality of the situation. His wife, his love, had spent a year away from him having god knows what done to her by Jack Hyde. Until they were able to have the full conversation, uninterrupted, Christian chose to believe that whatever happened between Ana and Hyde was not entirely consensual. He just hoped Ana wouldn't tell him something different that might make their relationship unfixable. Because, angry though he might be with his wife, he desperately wanted to know that they could work through all this shit and eventually get back to where they had once been.

 _Nothing will ever be the same,_ his mind told him. _No matter how hard we try._

Even though he didn't say it aloud, he couldn't help but think Anastasia picked up on the exact same thought. "Are we going to be able to get past this?" she asked, her eyes filling with tears.

Christian sighed heavily. "I don't know," he said quietly, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. As he did so, he suddenly noticed she was wearing her engagement and wedding rings, and racked his brain to recall whether she'd been wearing them all along and he just hadn't noticed. Somehow he didn't think so, and the thought that she'd put them on again gave him hope. "We still need to have a very serious conversation. We still have a million issues to work through. I am glad you're home, but at the same time..."

"You're angry," she finished for him. "Palm-twitchingly?"

"Indeed," he replied without any trace of amusement at the old, private joke.

She nodded, sighed, and looked down at her knees. "I will never be able to make this up to you, Christian," she eventually said in a whisper. "You will never know how sorry I am..."

Feeling his calm façade beginning to slip and his anger return, Christian dropped Ana's hand. "I don't want to have this conversation right now," he said firmly. "Not with my son here."

She looked at him in surprise and possibly a little disappointment. He had no doubt that this was in response to referring to Teddy as _his_ son, not _theirs_. But he didn't apologize, he wouldn't. She hadn't been there for Teddy for a year. She hadn't been there to dry his tears in the middle of the night when he had a bad dream; she hadn't been there to put band-aids on his skinned knees; she hadn't been there to see him grow from toddler to preschooler.

"You're right," she said, her voice cracking. "Maybe I should go."

"No," Christian said quickly, horrified at the thought. She looked at him in surprise, obviously trying to figure out his ever-changing moods. "No, please don't go."

She sighed. "Christian, we're not going to be comfortable with each other until we talk about what happened."

Even though he knew she was right, he still desperately sought a change of topic. He couldn't watch her walk out on him, not again. Thanks to the painkillers, however, his mind was drawing a blank. Just this conversation alone was exhausting him...

Ana's eyes scanned his face intently, finally taking pity on his lack of conversational prowess. "We're in the news again," she said tentatively.

Christian raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?" he asked.

She nodded. "Headlines in the newspapers, lead story on every news channel, local and national. Reporters are congregated outside the hospital and outside your parents' house. Taylor and Sawyer have their work cut out right now."

"Fan-fucking-tastic," Christian muttered. "What are they saying?"

Ana hesitated glancing at Teddy's sleeping form. "He's definitely asleep?" she asked.

Christian looked down at his son. Teddy's body was fully relaxed, thumb in his mouth. "Yes," he told Ana. "Kid could sleep through the end of the world."

The smile on her face was both fond and sad. "They've been talking about Teddy's kidnapping," she began, her voice strained as she continued to watch their son. "About you being held hostage by Jack at Elena's house. And of course about Ryan's murder, Elena's, and the other man."

"Callahan," Christian informed her mechanically. "His name was David Callahan. He was part of my security team."

Ana's eyes widened at this information, apparently having had no idea that her husband had known the other man at all. "You're joking," she said, her tone almost begging.

Christian shook his head tiredly. "Unfortunately not. He'd only been around a few months; he hadn't really done any big jobs yet." He hesitated, his insides turning to ice at the very thought of what he was about to say. But if there was anyone in the world he could tell, it was Anastasia. "He was eventually going to be assigned to Teddy," he whispered painstakingly. "Taking him to and from school, keeping an eye on him on the weekends and when I was away on business... Taylor did the interviews himself; he assured me Callahan checked out completely."

Ana blanched and a sound like a sob escaped her throat. "How..." She tried several times to finish her sentence, but every time she ended up shaking her head, closing her mouth, and swallowing hard.

"How did he get past Taylor?" Christian asked darkly. Ana nodded in response. "Don't know. It'll be the first thing he and I discuss once I get the fuck out of here."

"And his connection to Jack and Elena?" she asked hesitantly.

Christian shook his head, eyes darting to Teddy again. "Not now," he told her. "Asleep or not, I don't want to discuss that shit in front of him."

Again, they fell into silence. Ana was clearly thinking about what she'd just learned and coming to her own conclusions. Glancing at the clock, Christian realized visiting hours were nearly over, and no matter how much of a fuss he'd made about keeping his son with him, he didn't think the hospital staff would tolerate yet another person. Besides, it looked as though Ana was trying to find a way to make an escape without causing any additional tension between her and Christian. He took pity on her.

"Listen," he said, taking her hand again. "About what you asked, whether we could work this out..." Her eyes widened and she seemed to have stopped breathing in order to hear whatever he said next. "I want us to, Ana, more than anything. But there is so much we need to get through and it's not going to be easy." He took a deep breath and told her the idea he'd had in the back of his mind since their plane ride from Nebraska to Washington. "I want you to see Flynn."

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Flynn?" she asked dully.

Christian nodded firmly. "Yes. Ana, you're not the same girl you were a year ago. And considering what I assume you've gone through—since we haven't been able to discuss it, I've drawn my own conclusions—" He ignored her rolling eyes; not only was he too tired to give her the proper punishment for such an infraction, Teddy was in the room and he didn't want to scar his son for life if he woke up in the middle. "Regardless, I can't expect you to be the same, and unless everything else about you has changed, it'd be easier for you to talk to anybody else before talking to me. Please, baby, talk to Flynn."

She was understandably reluctant. Flynn wasn't exactly the type to let her sit and stare at her fingers the entire time they were in a room together, and she knew she would have to get everything out in the open, whether she wanted to or not. He only hoped he assessed the situation correctly. His heart skipped a few beats as an unwelcome thought popped into his mind: he'd insisted all along that he wanted to do everything possible to work things out with her and to keep her at home now that she was finally back, but he couldn't recall having heard her say anything similar.

He looked at her anxiously. "That is if you _want_ to work this out..." He realized belatedly that only thirteen months ago there wouldn't have been a discussion about whether she _wanted_ to stay. She had been his wife, his love, his best friend, the mother of his child, and they belonged together. End of story.

Ana sucked in a sudden breath, nodding. "I do want to," she whispered tearfully. "I'll see Flynn."

"Good," he sighed in relief before yawning.

She gave him another small smile. "I should let you rest," she said reluctantly. "Mom and Ray are heading home tomorrow, and they want to have a little more time with me before then." She stood up, hesitated a few moments, then leaned across the bed, resting her palm against his cheek, and bent her head just enough to place a sweet kiss on his lips. She pulled away far too soon, but he knew it was for the best, at least for the moment. Ana let go of his cheek and ran her fingers briefly through his hair. "I love you, Christian."

He gave her a smile even as the medication pulled him into unconsciousness. "Love you, too," he murmured.


	12. Chapter 12

Though the hospital staff and his mother had insisted he remain under their care for longer, Christian had absolutely refused to remain in the hospital any longer than a week. He'd managed to regain his energy, his body was healing rapidly, and he was eager to return to his normal life. Finally his doctors had given in to his demands; Taylor had brought him a change of clothes, he'd filled out and signed his release papers, and now he was being wheeled towards the back exit of the building where the SUV was waiting. His mother had coerced him into the wheelchair, insisting it was hospital policy for newly-released patients to leave this way, demeaning as it was. And since he knew better than to argue with Dr. Grace Trevelyan-Grey, he'd kept his grumblings and complaints to himself.

So, with a nurse pushing him through the halls and Taylor walking beside him, he was heading home, and he never felt more relieved to do so.

"Why the back entrance?" he murmured to Taylor.

Taylor's eyes darted sidelong to him then to the nurse pushing his wheelchair. "Reporters and photographers are still camped out in front," he explained, "and I thought you might prefer to leave unharassed."

Christian nodded his agreement. "Much appreciated."

Before they walked out the backdoor of the hospital, Taylor raised a hand to the nurse, signaling for her to stop for a moment. She did, albeit in an annoyed fashion, and they waited for Taylor to go outside to ensure the coast was clear before coming back and telling the nurse it was okay to proceed. If Christian hadn't known any better, he would say Taylor was enjoying annoying the nurse.

They reached the SUV, the nurse locked the wheels, and Christian refused either of their help in standing up. The nurse's patience was beyond strained at this point as she passed Christian his release papers, went over the doctor's orders—avoid strenuous activity, rest as often as possible, be sure he ate regularly, took his pain medication as directed. When she turned the wheelchair around to return inside the hospital, both men could hear her grumbling under her breath about spoiled rich men and their man servants. Christian's eyebrows rose at this and looked over to Taylor, who seemed to be fighting the urge to laugh out loud.

"What're you smirking about, man servant?" Christian muttered, his own lips twitching.

Taylor let out a snorting laugh and shook his head. "Nothing at all, sir," he responded, somehow managing to keep his tone even. He reached over and opened the SUV's backdoor, still fighting off a laugh.

Christian pulled himself into the car and looked to his left in surprise. He'd been under the impression that he would be alone with Taylor during the car ride home, but he was very pleasantly surprised to find Anastasia in the seat beside him. "Hi," he said, feeling a smile spread across his face.

She was smiling shyly back at him, wearing a very simple jeans and t-shirt. Her hair was free, falling all across her shoulders and back, and for the first time since he laid eyes on her in Omaha, he couldn't help but notice that she'd made some obvious effort in taking care of herself, probably for his benefit. He suddenly recalled how much he'd liked it when she'd used to do that for him—it seems he'd taken it for granted...

 _Never again..._ he promised both himself and her.

"Hi," she whispered quietly as Taylor got into the driver's seat.

"I didn't know you'd be here," he said, buckling his seatbelt.

"I thought I'd surprise you," she said, biting her lip slightly in uncertainty.

His smile widened as he reached over to pull her lip free. "It's a lovely surprise," he told her honestly. "Where's Teddy?"

"Elliot, Kate, Mia, and Ethan decided to take him out to the zoo," she told him. His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to object to her letting their son out in public after what had just happened to him. She sighed, bracing herself for his reaction. "Sawyer is with them. He's not letting Teddy out of his sight. We just thought it would be good for him to get out into the fresh air after everything that's happened. It's okay, Christian, he's safe."

Christian clenched his teeth and darted his eyes at the rearview mirror where he caught Taylor's wary eyes. The other man nodded minutely to ensure Christian Teddy was indeed safe. Letting go of a deep breath, Christian nodded in defeat; he didn't really have the energy to argue anyway. "Where are we going?" he asked suddenly, realizing they weren't heading to Bellevue as he had assumed they would.

"Home," Ana whispered, looking at him nervously. "Elliot and Kate will bring Teddy home this evening. Everyone has been staying with your parents and it's been a little crowded and hectic... It's not really a great place to get rest."

Christian nodded, inwardly translating her words. She'd been surrounded by people since her return to Seattle and she was feeling overwhelmed at the lack of privacy. "Okay," he told her, reaching over to the hand she'd rested on the seat between them and squeezing it gently. Her own body relaxed as he accepted her plans for their destination.

They rode in silence with Christian gripping his wife's hand as though it was his lifeline. Now that they were together again, his biggest fear was that the moment he let her out of his sights, she'd disappear. This was part of the reason he'd been so eager to get out of the hospital. He'd had no control over anything she did while he was there, and it wouldn't take much for her to panic and run again.

Christian's eyes blinked open and he found they'd pulled into the driveway of their home. He didn't recall having fallen asleep and probably hadn't been asleep for too long. He turned towards Ana, finding her staring straight ahead at the house apprehensively. It would be the first time she'd been back here in a year; he couldn't imagine what was going through her mind, though he had no doubt that she was recalling in vivid detail everything that had led to her leaving in the first place.

"Hey," he whispered to her as Taylor parked the car and jumped out to open her door. Her wide eyes rested on his and he saw tears forming in her eyes. "It's going to be all right, baby. I promise."

She nodded jerkily and accepted the hand Taylor held out to her to help her from the car. A moment later, both of them had come to the other side of the car and Christian's door had opened. Refusing Taylor's assistance, he got out, not taking his eyes off his wife—she had wrapped her arms around herself again. He ignored the stiffness and soreness of his body, reaching out an arm to pull her to him, resting his lips gently against her temple. She accepted the comfort, finally relaxing.

Christian looked towards Taylor. "Take the night off," he instructed his head of security. "We're fine."

"Sir." Taylor nodded at Christian and Ana as they walked up the front path to their home.

They stopped the moment they reached the front door and Ana was shaking again. "Remember the night we moved in?" asked Christian, rubbing her arm.

She glanced up at him very briefly, smiling. "How could I forget?" she asked wryly. "I was seven months pregnant; we'd spent nearly a week straight packing our stuff from Escala... I hadn't slept in weeks because Teddy decided he wanted to be a gymnast. We finally got here at eleven at night, ordered a pizza, and ended up sleeping on the living room floor, because we were too tired to go upstairs and make the bed."

Christian gave her a mischievous smile. "Not exactly as I remember it," he said huskily. He watched in satisfaction as she began to blush at the memories. Much of the night had been spent with them discussing their future, their unborn child. Christian had only just begun to admit aloud how eager he was to meet their baby; he recalled the look of utter relief on his wife's face at his words. It was at that moment that he'd realized that despite all the discussions they'd had about him accepting the idea of being a father, she'd still worried in the back of her mind about when or if he'd change his mind. The only thing he could do to assure her of his love for both her and their child had been to lie down with her on the floor and make love to her in front of the fire—the first of many times they'd done that...

"Come," he commanded softly, taking her hand and opening the front door of the house.

* * *

Christian set down his BlackBerry on the kitchen counter and looked up at the ceiling, frowning. They'd been in the house less than half an hour, and Ana had only spoken half a dozen words in that time. It hadn't taken a genius to decipher how difficult being back here was for Ana; she'd stared around the house, tears streaming down her face as she looked at the photographs that hung on the wall of the living room—ones from their wedding, from their honeymoon, from when Teddy had been born, throughout Teddy's life. He watched silently as she observed the newer photos, the ones procured over the last year. Her breathing had become erratic and he'd been certain if she didn't calm herself, she'd end up hyperventilating. He'd quickly wrapped his arms around her and held her while she'd cried. He didn't say a word, probably couldn't even if he'd known what to say. This was good for her, it was therapeutic. It was, he knew, only the first of many crying spells she would be going through as they tried to rebuild their lives together.

Finally, the tears had stopped and the sobs trailed off, and Ana pulled away from him. He softly wiped away the remaining tears on her cheeks. "Okay?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No," she said, laughing a little, though the amusement didn't reach her eyes. "I think I might shower."

Christian's eyes widened in surprise. "Shower?" he asked. She nodded shyly. "Okay... Would you like me to join you?" The question came out automatically and he regretted the words the moment her eyes widened in either shock, horror, or a combination of both. "Never mind," he said quickly, swallowing his disappointment. "Go shower. I'll get dinner situated."

She gave him a brief smile that, again, didn't reach her eyes, and left the room. He listened to her retreating footsteps as she walked hesitantly up the staircase.

Rolling his eyes at himself, Christian headed towards the kitchen. Of course it had come as a shock to her that he'd offered to join her in the shower. They'd made love in Omaha, and he'd intended to do so with her again when they'd gotten home to Seattle. With everything that had happened, those plans had fallen to the wayside. Then there was the bombshell that had been dropped during Christian's phone call from Jack Hyde, and the brief conversation with Ana afterwards, before he'd bolted from his parents' home. In the past few days, he'd come to the decision that no matter how much either of them might want or need it, there would be no sex until they'd managed to sort this all out.

 _All the more reason to get it over with..._

So while Ana was upstairs showering, Christian limped around the kitchen, selected a bottle of wine, a couple glasses, plates, and napkins, and returned to the living room where he made quick work of lighting a fire in the fireplace. Once he'd finished his arrangements, he sat down on the couch, feeling exhausted both from the pain he was still experiencing—he wondered briefly if he'd made the right choice in leaving the hospital, then dismissed the thought as ridiculous—and the thought of what was to come.

After nearly forty-five minutes, during which he'd accepted the pizza delivery he'd ordered, made a quick call to Elliot to check on Teddy—the boy was having a blast dragging his aunts and uncles throughout the park to every ride—and forced himself to take one of the prescribed pain pills, he considered going up to check on Ana. She should have been back downstairs already. Panic gripped him at the thought that she might have gotten hurt, perhaps hurt herself, or worse, run while he was occupied downstairs. But to his great relief, just as he'd decided to go check on her, she began to descend the stairs. He wondered if she'd realized all the clothes she'd left behind were still in the closet of their bedroom; she was wearing one of her husband's t-shirts and a pair of pajama pants, and she'd never looked more beautiful than she did right now.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd drowned," he joked as she reached him.

A corner of her mouth twitched in the beginnings of a smile. "No," she assured him before adding shyly, "It's just nice to be home."

He reached out a hand, running the backs of his fingers down her cheek. "It's good to have you home, Mrs. Grey," he told her softly. And despite the sudden spark that had ignited between them as her eyes switched between his eyes and lips, Christian forced himself to break the contact, reminding himself they would never get through anything if they were distracted by sex.

Unbidden, an image of Jack Hyde crawling all over his wife, kissing her, doing things to her only he was allowed to do, popped into his mind, successfully dampening his own sexual desires.

"Dinner's arrived," he said stiffly, turning away from her and trying to ignore to look of hurt and disappointment that crossed her face at his actions. "Come."

They ate in silence, one of them occasionally clearing a throat or refilling their glass of wine. Christian didn't know where to even begin; should he start asking her questions, or let her volunteer information? Should he tell her what life had been like without her this past year? Should he just wait a bit longer until they both had a chance to adjust to being together again?

But as he set aside the empty pizza box, Ana made the decision for him. She was sitting beside him on the floor, her back against the couch, her legs crossed in front of her. One of her fingers was tracing the rim of her wine glass as she stared at the fireplace in deep thought.

"I went to Detroit," she told him in a voice just above a whisper.

"What?" he asked after a moment of stunned silence.

She took a deep breath and let it out shakily. "After I left Seattle," she began slowly, "I went to Detroit."

Christian blinked at her in shock. Of all the places in the world... Fucking Detroit... "Why?" he asked through gritted teeth, even though he already knew the answer.

"That's where Jack wanted me," she said quietly. "I was there eight months. I lived in cheap, rundown apartment full of shady tenants. Jack came and went as he pleased. He never said _why_ he chose Detroit, but I suspect it was because he knew that me being there of all places would hurt you the worse, should you ever find out. I spent the first few months locked up in that apartment, terrified of what might happen to me and to you and to Teddy. Jack had made it clear from the beginning that one wrong move on my part would be the end of both of you. During those first few months, I didn't see Jack often. When I did, he was typically drunk and pissed off, and I was the outlet for his anger."

Christian clenched his jaw tighter and closed his eyes against her words, knowing what they were leading towards. He didn't stop her, though; he knew that the only way to save his marriage was to get everything out in the open, regardless of how horrible it might be to hear.

 _If it's painful to hear, you can only imagine how horrible it was to endure..._

"It all started out as I expected it might," she continued. It seemed to him that now she'd begun to speak, she had to keep going. "He hit me a few times, left some pretty spectacular bruising." She stopped when she heard Christian's breathing becoming erratic; her eyes widened as she realized he was losing control of his temper. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to upset you..."

He closed his eyes, counted to ten, and got his breathing under control again before opening his eyes. "It's okay," he said, though in reality it was anything but. "I need to know."

She searched his face intently, biting her lip again, before nodding. "Anyway," she said, returning her attention to the fireplace, "whenever he showed up, he was pissed off about something. He told me over and over that he had contacts back here who were keeping tabs on you and Teddy. And the longer I was away, the longer he was there to cut me off from the world, the more he would start telling me things."

"What things?" Christian asked reluctantly.

"Things about you," she said in a sad, almost apologetic tone. "He knew about your lifestyle before you met me, about your subs and your playroom... Everything. He would tell me you'd gotten yourself a new sub and start listing in very graphic detail all the things you were supposedly doing with this sub. And I didn't believe him at first, Christian, I didn't want to believe him at all. But after a while..."

"You started believing him," Christian muttered, shaking his head. It was only natural that after spending so long hearing something she'd begin to wonder about its truth. He now regretted his decision to not get himself into Jack Hyde's hospital room and beat the shit out of him.

Ana nodded meekly. "I'm so sorry," she said pleadingly.

He took a deep breath and reached over for her hand. "It's okay," he told her. "Keep going..."

"After a while, he managed to break my spirit," she went on after a few minutes. "I didn't see any point in fighting him any longer and just started accepting the situation. The sex started shortly after that." Her eyes darted to him again, silently asking if he really wanted to hear what came next. He didn't think he did, but he knew she needed to talk this out, so he nodded for her to go on. "I told myself it was all consensual, that I wanted it, that if you were back home with your submissives, then you didn't give a shit about anything I was doing. Jack was there. I convinced myself he cared about me." She rolled her eyes in disgust at herself. "Every time he finished and left, I died a little more on the inside. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that if you ever did find out about Jack and me, you'd hate me for getting myself into that situation. You wouldn't want me anymore. I'd have nobody."

Desperate as he was to contradict her thoughts and words, he refused to speak his mind just yet. His turn would come. Right now, Ana needed to speak more than he did.

"Four months ago, Jack showed up and told me to pack, telling me I was moving. I didn't ask questions, just did as I was told. It wasn't until I got to Omaha that I realized the reason for the sudden transfer. You had been in Detroit on business. Jack found out and panicked, thinking you were there looking for me. Of course, you had no idea we were in the same city, and it broke my heart to know we'd been so close to each other and yet still so far away."

For what had to be the millionth time in a week and a half, Christian's heart skipped several beats. He remembered that trip clearly, or as clearly as the drunken haze he'd lived in for months would allow. His reluctance to go to Detroit had been great, but he hadn't been able to convince Ros to skip the vacation she'd been planning for a year and a half ago to go in his stead. He'd made certain to get all his work done there as quickly as possible so he could get the fuck out of that cesspool and never look back. Now, knowing his wife had been there at the same time, he wished he'd made more of an effort to get out and about. True, the chances of running into her on the streets were slim to none, but stranger things have happened...

"So I moved," she continued sounding weary. "The neighborhood in which he found the house I was living in was full of families, working people. In order to fit in, I got a job at a diner under the name Kelly Reed. I managed to fit in with my co-workers and..." She trailed off looking fearfully reluctant.

"What?" Christian whispered just as reluctantly.

She closed her eyes tightly. "Jack made himself known to everyone as my husband," she whispered. "And of course they had no reason to disbelieve it..."

The infamous Christian Grey temper was making its way to the surface again. He knew where this was leading, and he wasn't sure he wanted to hear any of it.

"When did you get rid of the baby?" he asked, fully aware of his cold, unfeeling tone. This was the only way for him to get through this conversation.

"Two months ago," Ana said in a small voice. "I knew Jack was out of the state and I managed to shake his so-called security team while I was at work. I left early, saying I was sick, and had it done."

Christian stared at her. "He never suspected?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No," she whispered.

He nodded, knowing that at some point he'd have to drop the bomb about Elena knowing what Ana had done, even if Jack hadn't. Now wasn't the time. There was only one last thing he wanted to deal with tonight. "The night I was waiting for you at your house," he started, "you said some really horrible things to me." He watched her eyes snap shut again and a few tears manage to escape. "Yet two days later, you show up at my hotel room. What changed your mind?"

Ana sighed heavily. "Everything," she said quietly. "I'd been fed up for months. There was nothing in the world I wanted more than to get back to you. Before you came to Omaha, I didn't know how to get to you without tipping off Jack. I was terrified that one wrong move and you and Teddy would be dead. And I knew you would have me tailed and I was just waiting for the opportunity."

He nodded slowly. "Were you telling the truth?" he asked in a low voice.

"About?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The things you said. About me being too controlling and you not wanting to be a mother at such a young age."

"Christian..." she said warily.

"The truth, Ana," he said firmly. "This is the moment where we lay all our cards out on the table. I have to know whether there was any element of truth in any of it."

Again, she sighed. "I don't know, Christian," she said, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Maybe a little. I mean, you've admitted yourself a million times how much you like control, how much you _need_ it. There've been times when I've thought it was all a bit much. But I understand why you do it. Sometimes, you just go a bit far..."

His jaw clenched. "And Teddy?"

She looked him straight in the eye, hesitantly reaching out to him to touch his cheek with just the tips of her fingertips. When he didn't flinch or look away, she cupped the side of his face, stroking the skin softly with her thumb. "Like you said when I told you I was pregnant," she began quietly, "we'd known each other all of about five fucking minutes. We didn't have the chance to really enjoy being married. And yes, I was very young, too young maybe, but I don't, not for one fucking minute, regret having Teddy. He was the best thing we ever did, Christian, and I know you won't believe it or understand it, but everything I did while I was gone— _every_ thing—was done with the intention to keep you and Teddy safe. If I was given the choice to do it all over again, knowing what I know now, I don't know that I wouldn't do the exact thing all over again."

Christian stared at her in horror. "How can you say that?" he breathed. "How can you fucking say that? Ana, you spent a fucking _year_ being abused in every goddamn way possible by that bastard! I never would have wanted you to go through that, no matter what would have happened to me. You were everything to me, Ana! Don't you realize that?" Without regard to his still healing body or the look of surprise from Ana at his outburst, Christian stood up, running his hands roughly through his hair as he began to pace.

"Do you have any fucking idea with the last year has been like for me?" he yelled at her. "Complete, fucking _hell_ , Ana! In fact, if there was a place _worse_ than hell, that would have been more apt. Nobody knew what happened to you. For all we knew, you were dead. Most of my family, and yours for that matter, gave up looking for you after three months. I didn't. I had people searching the entire fucking world for you! I nearly lost my company because I was so obsessed with finding you. And when I wasn't in the office hiring private detectives in every country, I had to come home and explain to our son that I didn't know whether his mommy was coming back. I had to hold him when he missed you, when he had nightmares about me leaving him, too. And _my_ nightmares!"

He stopped speaking, his hands fisting in his hair as he spun around to face her. She was still in the floor, her eyes wide, face pale, tears streaming down her face, hands covering her mouth. "As for submissives," he spat the word, insulted that she would ever even _think_ he could have gotten another one. "I'm not even acknowledging that, Ana. How many fucking times do I have to tell you that _you_ are all I want, all I _ever_ wanted? Fuck! Now I'm finding out you fucked Hyde, more than once." He sighed, fighting the urge to punch the nearest solid object. The more he looked at her, the more he thought about what he'd been told, the more difficult it was becoming to reign in his emotions. "I can't fucking do this right now..."

"Christian," she whispered, tears streaming down her face. "Please."

He looked at her, his anger waning very slightly at the sight of her. This was all too much. All his control was lost without any hope of him regaining it any time soon. Anastasia was no longer solely _his_. Someone else had been in _his_ territory. Unbidden, knowing it was probably supremely unfair to her, a thought popped into his mind that steeled himself against comforting her.

 _She's damaged goods, Grey..._

Closing his eyes tightly, Christian turned away from her. She didn't speak, but he could hear her breath catching as she cried. He counted to ten, took several deep breaths, tried to think of something to smooth things over just for a little while. But the front door of the house opened and several people entered, including Teddy. He couldn't let his son see the state of his parents, couldn't let him see his mother so upset and vulnerable. Turning towards her, her eyes had widened as though she'd forgotten Teddy was coming home tonight.

"Clean yourself up," he told her rather coldly. _Yes, distance is better for now. Physical and emotional..._ "I'll keep them occupied."

Without another word or look at her, Christian arranged his expression into something more welcoming and left her on the living room floor.


	13. Chapter 13

Somehow Ana managed to get her emotions in check and wipe away all evidence that she'd been crying when she came out to the foyer to meet Elliot and Kate. For a moment, she hung back, observing. She'd always known Christian Grey's moods could change in a flash of a second, but seeing such a change still surprised her. Whereas just a few minutes ago he'd been angry and shouting, now he was holding his son in his arms, a large smile on his face as he listened intently to everything Teddy was telling him about his day. He was speaking at such a rapid pace that all Ana could decipher was that Ethan had gotten ill on one of the rides that went upside down and Mia had taken him home early.

Kate glanced away from Christian and Teddy, and the smile on her own face began to slowly fade when she found Ana. She smiled at the men, muttered something, and crossed the room. "You okay?" she asked concernedly.

"Yeah, of course," Ana said in a falsely cheery voice. Her eyes darted over to Christian who had also turned towards her, a frown on his face—she wasn't sure if this was in concern or continued anger from before or disapproval at her for any number of reasons.

Kate raised a pale eyebrow. "I'm thirsty," she said loftily, threading her arm through Ana's and dragging her off to the kitchen. "The boys can occupy themselves."

Ana smiled to herself, knowing the beginning of a Katherine Kavanagh-Grey intervention when she heard one. Once each of them had something to quench their thirst, Kate nodded her head towards the backdoor. "Fresh air?" she asked kindly.

Agreeing immediately, Ana followed her friend out onto the back patio. Memories instantly came flooding back to her as she stepped into the Seattle evening air. She'd sat out here with Teddy when he was just weeks old, and while the baby slept, Ana caught up on her reading. She and Christian had spent countless nights curled up on a lounger when the sky was clear, watching the stars, talking, and just holding each other. They'd had their families here for numerous parties. There had been so many plans for this house and massive backyard—watching Teddy grow older, expand their family, be happy and in love.

And for a while, those plans had been a reality.

Christian had been the one to approach her about having another child. She'd been hesitant to begin with; it seemed only yesterday they'd brought Teddy home for the first time and they were only just hitting their stride in this parenting thing. He'd been so eager and anxious to give their son a sibling that all his former worries about whether he could possibly make a good father were completely forgotten.

At the point when Ana had left her husband and son, they'd been trying to get pregnant for nearly a month.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Ana started at the sound of Kate's soft, coaxing voice, having already forgotten her friend was there. She turned around to face Kate, sitting down on the low rock wall that surrounded the patio and shrugged.

"You've been crying," Kate said bluntly. "Your eyes are red and puffy."

Again, Ana shrugged and muttered something about not having slept well for the past few nights.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Come on, Steele, spill," she demanded, coming to sit beside her on the wall. "You've barely said a hundred words to me all weekend and I've been very patient with you. So why don't you save both of us a lot of breath and wasted effort, and just tell me what the hell is going on."

Though her first intuition was to laugh at Kate just because of the familiarity and matter-of-factness of this conversation, Ana reflexively took a sip of the cranberry juice she'd poured for the two of them to drink. "Christian and I talked a little," she said quietly, feeling her voice begin to shake.

"Oh?" Kate asked, sounding vaguely surprised.

"Yeah," Ana confirmed. "There hasn't really been much talking since I got back, mostly because he's been in the hospital and neither of us really knew where to begin."

"Well," Kate began triumphantly, "you did ask us to take Teddy so the two of you could have some alone time... Sounds like it worked..."

Ana only sighed.

"What?" Kate asked after a few moments.

Irritably wiping away a few stray tears, Ana managed to speak after a few silent minutes. "It didn't go well," she said carefully. "The discussion ended with him yelling that he couldn't fucking do this right now, then you, Elliot, and Teddy walked in the door."

"Oh." Kate sighed, setting aside her glass. "Well, it's been a long week for everyone, hasn't it? Not to mention he's still dealing with what happened over the last year."

Rolling her eyes, Ana looked at her friend wearily. "Dare I even ask whose side you're on?"

"I'm not on anybody's side," Kate insisted. Ana gave her an _oh really?_ look, and she rolled her eyes as well. "Okay, look, Christian and I have gotten over a lot of our animosity towards each other since you've been gone. And I know this sounds horrible, but it never would have happened if you _hadn't_ gone. It's been nice not wasting half my energy being rude to him every time we see each other. And yes, even after last year, you are still one of my best friends. At the same time, though, everyone is pissed off at you to some degree. The reason for that isn't because you left, not because Jack Hyde got the better of you; it's because of the effect your leaving had on Christian. He was a fucking wreck, Ana, and it took the better part of eight months to snap him back to any semblance of normality. He stopped seeing Flynn a month after you left. We all took turns coming over here to keep an eye on him because none of us knew what he might do. He stopped taking care of Teddy, stopped going to work, drank more than what should be possible, and—"

She broke off suddenly, glancing back at the house, frowning. Ana leaned towards her subconsciously, wondering what she had been about to say; she knew when Kate shook her head a little, she wouldn't be finding out any time soon.

"The point is, Ana, for the first time since I met Christian Grey, I started to understand him over the last year. I realized how much he loves you, how much you mean to him. I still think he's an over-controlling egomaniac a lot of the time, and we'll never be best friends, but I get him a little now. And you leaving nearly destroyed him."

Ana didn't respond. She'd heard this before; Grace had told her this in not so many words at the hospital, hadn't she? And once again, she felt like the villain. It seemed she was the only one who believed she had been the victim in all this—victim to Jack Hyde's threats, his fear-mongering, and abuse. According to everyone else she'd spoken to so far, they all believed Christian and Teddy to be the most affected. Much as she wanted to yell at them, to tell them everything Jack had done to her while she was away, she couldn't; even though he was still in the hospital, probably with some amount of brain damage, his words continued to haunt her, no matter what she did. She knew Kate would be her listening post if she wanted to sound off, but she held back; Christian deserved to be the first person to know everything, and until he was ready, she would hold it in, regardless of the risk that she might implode after too much longer...

"Kate?"

Ana was jolted out of her thoughts by Elliot's voice. She looked up, finding her brother-in-law standing near the backdoor.

"Ready to go?" he asked. Ana's brow furrowed at the uncharacteristically quietness of Elliot's voice.

Kate's eyes darted sidelong at Ana before nodding and sliding off the rock wall. She turned to face Ana before going to her husband. "Lunch this week?" she asked quietly, a small smile on her face.

Ana nodded, mirroring the smile. "I'd like that," she whispered truthfully.

After a hug that was slightly awkward given Kate's protruding belly, they walked back towards Elliot. They reentered the house, finding it quiet and empty. "Christian took Teddy upstairs for a bath, then bed," Elliot explained, giving Ana a sympathetic look.

With another round of hugs and a promise to call Kate sometime this week to setup a lunch date, the two of them left, leaving Ana essentially alone in the house. She didn't know whether she should go upstairs to help Christian with Teddy's bath, didn't know whether or not she'd even be welcome at this point—after all, he'd been doing this on his own for a year now... But after nearly half an hour of biting her lip uncertainly, she finally decided to turn off the downstairs lights, lock up the house, and go find her husband and son.

Heart racing, Ana approached Teddy's bedroom. The last time she'd been in here, there had been a crib sitting against the wall, across from the window. Now there was a large bed that took up quite a bit of the room. Toys were scattered everywhere along with different books that had been rather unceremoniously placed on the bookshelf. Her eyes almost immediately found the photograph on Teddy's bedside table of the three of them before everything had gone pear-shaped. She recalled Teddy's words at the hospital about how he'd recognized her as his mother because he had her picture next to his bed.

Teddy was in the middle of the bed, the blankets tucked all around him while Christian sat beside him, his back facing Ana. She couldn't quite make out what her husband was saying, but Teddy was nodding gravely. When Ana shifted slightly in the doorway, she drew Teddy's gaze; the little boy's face lit up with a large smile at the sight of her and she couldn't resist smiling back while she tried to ignore the way Christian's entire body tensed.

"Hi, Mommy," Teddy said to her.

"Hi, Teddy," Ana said quietly, entering the room.

"Can you read me a story?" he asked, failing to stifle a yawn.

Now right beside Christian, she saw his jaw tense and his lips form a hard line at their son's request. Was he annoyed that Teddy had asked her instead of him? Or was he annoyed because Ana was in the room at all?

Ana swallowed hard. "I think your daddy might want to read you a story," she said, keeping her eyes on Teddy.

"It's fine," Christian muttered stiffly. He leaned over and kissed Teddy's forehead. "Sleep well, son. I love you."

Teddy smiled sleepily. "Love you, too, Dad."

Without meeting her eyes, Christian got off the bed and strolled purposefully out of the room. Forcing a smile on her face, Ana reached over to the bedside table for the book that sat there, sat next to her son on his bed, and began to read.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Ana looked down at the boy now fast asleep beside her. She closed the book and set it back on the table next to the bed, and just gazed at her son. The fact that she'd missed a year of this boy's life was damn near unforgivable to her. A year in the life of a small child like Teddy was crucial. He'd changed so very much, growing from a fun, happy toddler to a fun, happy, loving, articulate boy. So far, he'd treated her as he did the rest of his family, seemingly unfazed by everything that had happened in the very recent past.

 _If only Christian could take a leaf from his son's book..._ she thought sadly, gently running the backs of her fingers down Teddy's soft cheek.

She wanted to sit here all night and just watch him, to attempt to make up for not being with him in a year. Unfortunately, the need to find Christian won out; as carefully as possible to keep from waking Teddy, Ana slipped out of the bed, pulled the blankets over her son a little more, shut off the light, and left the room.

Christian wasn't in the master bedroom as she suspected he might be. It only took her a few minutes to locate him in his study as he stared out the large window into the dark night. She ached to cross towards him, to wrap her arms around him and rest her head on his back. But she resisted. Considering their earlier exchange, she doubted he would react too well to this sort of behavior.

He didn't even seem to realize she was there—his body was mostly relaxed, his arms crossed over his chest. Much as it hurt to do so, she turned away and left him to his thoughts. Exhaustion was starting to overtake her and she only now realized how eager she was to sleep in her and Christian's bed. She didn't bother changing out of the clothes she'd put on after her shower, but instead pulled down the blanket and sheet, slipped into her side of the bed, curled up on her side, closed her eyes, and was asleep in minutes.

* * *

Christian entered the dark bedroom, knowing Ana was asleep in here, in their bed. His mind vaguely registered the sudden desire that filled his body—how often had he fantasized about having his wife back in their bed again, not only making love or fucking, but just sleeping beside him? Her presence had always had a surprisingly comforting effect on him; he'd always slept better beside her. In fact, he hadn't slept as well as he had that night in Omaha after she'd come to his hotel room for a year.

Would her sleeping beside him still have the same affect or was his mind now too full of the things she'd told him about her time away from him for him to ever sleep again? Whatever the answer, he wasn't eager to face the renewed nightmares just yet and instead of getting into bed beside her, he sat down in a chair near the bed and just watched her.

He hated this. Hated the uncertainty that surrounded him. Hated not being able to just _be_ with her. Hated the fact that he'd thought the very worst of her only hours ago. He knew his behavior towards her was unreasonable, but anyone would feel the same, wouldn't they? One part of him hurt for her and everything she'd gone through. He sympathized with that abuse, having experienced his fair share of abuse in his life as well. That part of him wanted nothing more than to hold her until her pain and inner turmoil were no more, and he knew she would welcome this with open arms and without hesitation.

The other side, however, the one that so resembled a petulant little boy insisted that he shouldn't have to share that which was his. Including his wife. And though the logical side of his mind tried to tell him Ana had essentially been forced into circumstances beyond her control, he still couldn't get over the fact that she'd plainly demonstrated her lack of trust and faith in him by not coming to him the moment Jack Hyde had been in their home. If she had, he'd have tracked Hyde down himself and torn him apart limb from fucking limb for daring to go near his family, touch his son, threaten his wife.

The fact was she hadn't come to him. Money took care of a lot of things in life, but it still couldn't change the past. He knew the moment he was able to accept this, he could finally begin forgiving Ana for a multitude of things. In the meantime, he had to decide whether things between them could ever be made right. Did he _want_ to make them right? Did he even still love her?

At the moment, he didn't know the answer to any of those questions. He still felt immense relief to have her back. He was further relieved to know he still found her distractingly beautiful, even in her sleep. Currently, though, he got a glimpse of what he might look like when he slept without her: her eyes were closed, but she was frowning in her sleep, her lips trembling slightly in response to whatever she was dreaming. It killed him to see her like this and before his mind could stop him, he reached out a finger, softly running it across her cheek. Her face and entire body relaxed immediately at the touch, and he had to resist the urge to touch her any more. She needed her rest. So did he, for that matter. Briefly, he debated the merits of sleeping beside her, even if she wasn't sleeping in his arms. He decided against it, however; he seriously doubted his body could resist wrapping itself around her while they slept, and he knew neither of them was ready for that.

Sighing heavily and wincing, Christian stood from his chair and left the room, stopping off in his study for another pain pill before going to sleep fitfully in the guestroom.

* * *

The next few days in the Grey home were filled with tension. Every day seemed to follow the same, depressing pattern: Ana would wake up just after dawn, instantly aware that once again Christian hadn't come to bed. She would then shower and dress, then make her way downstairs in search of her family. Sometimes she found Christian and Teddy at the breakfast table eating and talking, sometimes she found Teddy curled up on the living room couch clutching a teddy bear, thumb in his mouth as he watched cartoons. On these mornings, Christian was usually found in his study typing away on his computer or on his phone, either yelling at someone or giving instructions. Conversation between them were barely existent. Rarely were in the same room together longer than it took to have a meal or play with Teddy. Every so often Ana would glance at her husband, finding him looking back, though when he noticed her gaze on him, he immediately looked away.

Visitors had been in and out of the house. These were the only times that Ana ever felt like things had gone back to normal between them. It seemed important to Christian to keep their private problems private, so Ana went along with it. During these visits, Christian actually met her eyes, smiling, even though the smiles didn't quite reach his own eyes. Once or twice he'd actually touched her, put an arm around her, gently held her hand. If their family had noticed the underlying tension between them, none of them said anything. And the moment they left, Christian reverted back to the aloof, angry man he'd been before their arrival.

Today would be the fourth day since she'd come back to the home she shared with her husband and son. And she expected it to play out just as the three days before had done. Christian's injuries were on the mend, the bruising from Jack Hyde's beatings fading away to nothing, and she knew that soon he would be returning to his workplace where he would be able to escape his currently miserable home life. If he returned to work without anything being resolved between him and Ana, she knew the chances of ever making things right between them would be significantly decreased. She couldn't let that happen. She wanted her marriage back, her husband back; she wanted her old life back.

 _Not possible,_ her subconscious sneered. _If he wanted what you do, he would have done something about it by now. Maybe you should take the hint._

 _Fuck off,_ she bit back.

Her subconscious pursed her lips in disapproval, crossed her arms, and leaned against a wall in order to have a front row seat to watch whatever happened next.

Ignoring this, Ana made her way to Christian's study. He was there again, on the phone with his back facing her as he talked to somebody. She didn't bother listening to whatever he was discussing; she didn't think she'd ever cared less about his business. Unlike every other time she'd come here only to find him busy with something, she didn't turn tail and run. Instead she entered the room and closed the door quietly behind her. The click the door made apparently drew Christian's attention. He turned towards her, still on the phone, and she watched his face close down, just as it had every other time she'd been alone with him in the last few days. She didn't back away from his hardened gaze as she crossed the room and sat purposefully in a chair in front of his desk; she raised her eyebrow at him, silently telling him she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon and crossed her legs in order to get more comfortable.

Christian shook his head slightly and kept on with his phone conversation for another ten minutes or so before finally hanging up with whoever he was talking about, setting his phone down, sitting behind his desk, and gazing impassively at Ana. "Can I help you?" he asked softly.

"I was hoping you might," she told him in the same tone. He raised his own eyebrow at her, steepling his fingers and resting them against his lips, silently indicating he was resignedly listening. She sighed. "We need to talk about this, Christian."

His eyes closed for a fraction of a second and when they opened again, she clearly saw the anger and hurt she knew he'd been feeling for who knew how long. "About what?" he asked.

"Us." She gestured between them. "What are we doing? Are we ever planning on trying to get past this so we can get on with our lives or are we only tolerating each other's presence because we think we have an obligation to our son?"

His eyes flashed. "An obligation?" he asked softly, lowering his hands to grip the side of his desk. "Would that be the same obligation _you_ had to be with your family? Because you haven't exactly lived up to that, Anastasia. Fuck, for all I know, I'm going to wake up one morning and you'll be gone again. And I promise you, if you do leave again, there is no coming back. There will be no begging on my part to bring you back into my life. You will be cut off and I will wash my hands of you."

Her heart stopped at his words. She wasn't sure if this meant he did want her to stay or if it was merely a warning about what would happen if she fucked up again. "That doesn't answer my question," she said bravely. "Christian, I know I hurt you. I know you're angry with me. But I want to get past this. I want us to work this out."

"And what if I don't?" he snapped.

She gasped, trying to read his expression to find out if he was serious. She'd never seen him more serious that he was right now. "You don't mean that," she begged. "Christian, I need you."

His expression didn't change. "Well, you fucked that all up, didn't you?" he asked coldly. He glared at her as the flow of tears began. It was a full ten minutes before he showed any change. "Look," he said quietly, "I don't know what I want yet. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that you fucked Jack Hyde. Repeatedly."

And just like that, she was on her feet, angrier than she could remember being in her life. "You think that's what I wanted?" she shouted, inwardly pleased at the surprise on his face at her outburst. "You think you're the only person who suffered over the last year? Wake the fuck up, Christian! This isn't only about you! Yes, I fucked up! Yes, I put myself into a situation to be abused repeatedly, but I came to you for help. And as I recall, you had absolutely no problem letting me into your hotel room that day, no problem taking me to bed and fucking me senseless. It wasn't until we came home that you stopped showing any sort of affection towards me. I've gone from being abused and cut off from the world and desperately needing your love and support to tiptoeing around you, desperately hoping you would just give me the fucking time of day so I can try to make this right again. All the while you treat me like some parasite you can't wait to be rid of. If you want me gone, Christian, all you have to do is say." Her last sentence was whispered; she half-hoped he hadn't heard it at all, because if he did, he might confirm that he really did want her to go, and she didn't think she'd survive that.

He didn't speak, though. His eyes were locked on hers, his jaw twitching, probably in anger. His grip on the edge of the desk was so tight she was surprised the desk itself hadn't broken into splinters under his hands. The longer the silence dragged on the more she wanted to leave the room and hide from his intense gaze. Whatever was going on behind his eyes was a complete mystery, though, and she was far too desperate to see his reaction, no matter how bad. He took a very deep breath and let it out slowly, and as he did, his mask began to slip slightly. He looked lost, scared, infinitely sad, and confused. "Well," he finally whispered, tearing his gaze from hers. "I think that's the most you've said to me since you've been back." He paused, running his fingers through his hair, swallowing hard. "Ana, I don't know what to do right now. When I went to Omaha, I went in search of my wife—the woman who turned my life around, made me believe there was more for me than working and contracting submissives. The woman I found was broken and terrified, and I've been panicking since then about whether I'd ever see the woman I fell in love with again. Yes, I'm angry. Angrier than I've been in my life, and yes, some of that is directed towards you. I'm angry because I feel like you didn't trust me to keep you safe. I'm angry because instead of letting me help you face your problems, you chose to run away."

His expression darkened significantly. "I'm angry because Jack fucking Hyde touched you and hurt you repeatedly. And I am fucking pissed that he got you pregnant and you felt the need to get rid of it. I understand why you did and I certainly can't blame you for that decision—it's your body after all. But I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I'd found you before you did that. Would you have made the same decision? If you hadn't, would I ever get past the fact that you were carrying another man's baby?"

She held her breath, her entire body in shock at his words. "And would you?" she heard herself breathe.

He shook his head wonderingly, his eyes wide. "I don't know," he whispered. "I mean, on one hand we'd been talking about more children, and this baby would have been part of you. But on the other hand, it would have been a constant reminder of what Hyde had done to you." He sighed heavily again, his eyes softening. "I meant it when I said I'm glad you're home and I've missed you more than you know, but right now, I don't know whether we can get past this."

Ana fought back her tears. "Do you want us to?"

He shrugged despondently. "I really don't know right now."

"Is that the best I'm going to get?" she asked, smiling faintly.

"Yes."

Ana sighed. "Okay, then," she said flatly. "When you decide..."

"You'll be the first to know," he finished. "I promise."

She let her gaze drift around the room, knowing Christian was watching her every move very closely before she stood. "I've got an appointment with Dr. Flynn tomorrow, so I'll be gone in the morning," she told him quietly. "I assume you'll be here to keep an eye on Teddy."

His eyes looked relieved at the thought she'd finally agreed to see Flynn. "Yes," he told her, a very slight smile reaching his eyes. "I'll be here."

She nodded and started out of the study again, feeling much better about everything now. There still weren't any definitive answers about whether she and Christian would ever be what they had once been, but for the first time, she felt hopeful. She knew Christian felt _something_ for her, otherwise he never would have bothered saying the things he had. And the fact that he had brought up the baby... It almost made her wish she'd made a different decision. More than anything she wanted to make him believe they could somehow get around this. How that might happen, she had no clue. It was part of the reason she'd agreed to see Flynn. Perhaps he had some worldly advice for her.

As she went back to hers and Christian's bedroom, suddenly thoroughly exhausted, she thought about everything that had ever happened between them. If they could get past his deep-seated desires to tie up little brown-haired girls in his Red Room of Pain and beat the shit out of them, if they could grow together and discover their love for each other, if they could get past everything Elena Lincoln ever did to either of them, then why couldn't they get past this? She knew it wouldn't be an overnight fix and that it would probably be a long, drawn out, and emotionally draining process, but as she drifted off to sleep, a smile on her face, she dreamt of some as yet unknown day when she, Christian, and Teddy could resume their lives together and finally be the family she'd always wanted them to be.

...

A/N: This is the end of Lost. I will start posting Found probably tomorrow. Thank you for the reviews, support, flames, and all other input!


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